Jackie Mason on Being Jewish

In this stand-up routine, Jackie Mason riffs on what he sees as the central irony of American Jewish identity: while Jews claim great pride in being Jewish, they go out of their way to hide every outward sign of it. He jokes about plastic surgery, name changes, and the desire to blend in with Gentile society.

Mason builds through a series of bits — Jews insisting they look Hawaiian, French, or Spanish rather than Jewish; Jewish families moving into neighborhoods specifically because "no Jews allowed," only to find it full of other Jews doing the same thing; and the obsession with French fashion designers over Jewish ones.

He closes with an extended impression of a Reform Rabbi's overly formal, incomprehensible speech, a riff on the disappearance of Jewish first and last names in favor of names like Tiffany or Ashley, and a story about performing for the Queen of England, who loved his act in a way American audiences never fully did.

Key takeaways

• Mason argues many American Jews feel pride in their heritage but simultaneously try to erase visible signs of it.
• He uses physical appearance jokes (noses, looking 'Hawaiian' or 'French') to illustrate ethnic self-consciousness.
• The bit about Jews moving into 'no Jews allowed' neighborhoods highlights the absurdity of assimilation efforts.
• French designers are mocked as a stand-in for a general preference for anything non-Jewish-sounding.
• Jewish first and last names are disappearing in favor of more 'American' sounding names.
• Mason contrasts American reception of his very Jewish comedic style with his warm reception by the Queen of England and Jews in London.

Highlights

• 0:05 — The only persecution he's faced is from Jews embarrassed he's "too Jewish"
• 0:52 — "You look Jewish" — the ethnic denial bit
• 1:23 — Jews moving into "no Jews allowed" neighborhoods
• 1:55 — Why there's no such thing as a "Jewish designer"
• 2:43 — Impression of the incomprehensible Reform Rabbi
• 3:43 — Modern "Jewish" kids named Tiffany, Ashley, and more
• 4:19 — Only black people have Jewish names left, like Whoopi Goldberg
• 4:27 — Story of performing for the Queen of England

00:00:00 Jews Embarrassed To Sound Jewish
00:00:52 Denying What You Look Like
00:01:23 Moving To Neighborhoods With No Jews
00:01:47 The Myth Of The French Designer
00:02:43 Impression Of The Reform Rabbi
00:03:34 Jewish Names Disappearing In America
00:04:05 Black People Keep Jewish Names
00:04:19 Performing For The Queen Of England

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Schwartz,<00:03:50.560> Alison,<00:03:52.159> Ginik,<00:03:53.159> Ashley,<00:03:55.439> Lips.<00:03:56.439> He<00:03:56.599> get<00:03:56.840> more<00:03:57.079> reformed<00:03:57.439> all<00:03:57.519> the<00:03:57.640> time.

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I<00:03:57.920> know<00:03:58.079> one<00:03:58.280> kid<00:03:58.439> is<00:03:58.599> named<00:03:59.040> Crucifix.

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[Laughter]<00:04:06.959> The<00:04:07.120> only<00:04:07.319> people<00:04:07.560> left<00:04:07.799> with<00:04:07.920> Jewish<00:04:08.200> names<00:04:08.480> anymore<00:04:09.400> are<00:04:09.640> black<00:04:09.879> people.<00:04:10.120> They're<00:04:10.280> the<00:04:10.400> only<00:04:10.640> ones<00:04:10.840> with<00:04:11.000> Jewish<00:04:11.239> names,<00:04:11.439> are,<00:04:11.599> are<00:04:11.760> black<00:04:12.200> people.<00:04:13.200> Whoopi

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Goldberg.<00:04:20.079> Isn't<00:04:20.359> that<00:04:20.840> amazing?<00:04:21.840> There's<00:04:22.079> no<00:04:22.240> Jewish<00:04:22.520> names<00:04:22.800> and<00:04:22.919> there's<00:04:23.080> no<00:04:23.240> Jewish<00:04:23.720> voice.<00:04:24.720> Do<00:04:24.840> you<00:04:25.240> understand<00:04:25.440> this?<00:04:26.080> The<00:04:26.240> only<00:04:26.400> people<00:04:26.680> proud<00:04:26.880> to<00:04:27.000> be<00:04:27.120> Jewish,

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the<00:04:27.600> Jews<00:04:27.800> in<00:04:27.919> London<00:04:28.199> are<00:04:28.320> proud<00:04:28.560> to<00:04:28.639> be<00:04:28.759> Jewish.<00:04:29.520> Do,<00:04:29.720> did<00:04:29.800> you<00:04:29.960> know<00:04:30.120> that?<00:04:30.360> I<00:04:30.520> performed<00:04:30.880> for<00:04:31.000> the<00:04:31.080> Jews<00:04:31.320> in<00:04:31.400> London<00:04:31.680> and<00:04:31.800> I<00:04:31.919> performed<00:04:32.199> for<00:04:32.280> the<00:04:32.360> Queen<00:04:32.560> of<00:04:32.639> England.<00:04:33.160> Isn't

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that<00:04:33.520> ironic<00:04:33.960> that<00:04:34.120> the<00:04:34.199> Queen<00:04:34.400> of<00:04:34.520> England<00:04:34.800> loved<00:04:35.080> me?<00:04:35.360> She<00:04:35.479> didn't<00:04:35.680> think<00:04:35.800> I<00:04:35.919> was<00:04:36.039> too<00:04:36.400> Jewish.<00:04:37.400> I<00:04:37.560> come<00:04:37.759> back<00:04:37.880> to<00:04:37.960> the<00:04:38.080> U.S.<00:04:38.400> and,<00:04:38.520> "Brr,<00:04:38.800> a<00:04:38.880> little<00:04:39.120> too<00:04:39.360> Jewish<00:04:39.639> for<00:04:39.880> my<00:04:40.600> case."

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The<00:04:41.720> Queen<00:04:41.919> of<00:04:42.039> England<00:04:42.400> loved<00:04:42.639> me.<00:04:42.919> After<00:04:43.199> the<00:04:43.320> show,<00:04:43.600> she<00:04:43.759> started<00:04:44.039> to<00:04:44.199> talk<00:04:44.400> like

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me.<00:04:51.520> That's<00:04:51.800> right.<00:04:51.960> She<00:04:52.080> said,<00:04:52.320> "All<00:04:52.520> right,<00:04:52.680> he<00:04:52.840> wasn't<00:04:53.199> that<00:04:53.400> good.<00:04:53.600> He<00:04:53.759> was<00:04:53.960> pretty<00:04:54.520> good.<00:04:55.520> I<00:04:55.639> didn't<00:04:55.840> like<00:04:56.000> him<00:04:56.280> that<00:04:56.479> much,<00:04:56.759> but<00:04:56.960> it's<00:04:57.160> better<00:04:57.360> than<00:04:57.520> nothing.<00:04:57.840> Close<00:04:58.639> enough."

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I<00:04:59.759> didn't<00:04:59.919> answer<00:05:00.160> her.<00:05:00.240> She<00:05:00.320> was<00:05:00.440> too<00:05:00.600> Jewish<00:05:00.880> for<00:05:01.039> me.