Raanan Hershberg: Morbidly Jewish | Full Comedy Special

In his fearless stand-up comedy special, comedian Raanan Hershberg tackles the absurdities of modern dogma, political polarization, and the strange comfort people find in absolute certainty. Filmed at Sesh Comedy Club in New York City, Raanan shares his experience appearing on Joe Rogan's podcast and the brutal, highly specific internet comments that followed.

Raanan skewers both sides of the political spectrum, comparing right-wing conspiracy theories to liberal horoscopes and reflecting on the chaotic 2024 election. He also dives into his personal life, discussing the dynamics of the "fat community" in the era of Ozempic, performing stand-up in Germany, and navigating the awkwardness of growing up Jewish in Kentucky.

With sharp wit and dark humor, the special culminates in a hilarious exploration of the Israel-Palestine conflict through the lens of adult film stars, the bizarre nature of crowd work, and a couple of top-shelf historical jokes. Raanan's unapologetic honesty questions everything, proving that nobody is safe from a good roast.

Key takeaways

• Internet comments can be brutally accurate, often highlighting personal insecurities with painful precision.
• Conspiracy theories and horoscopes represent different sides of the same coin: people searching for patterns and certainty in a chaotic world.
• The "fat positive" movement quickly shifted once medical weight-loss solutions like Ozempic became widely available.
• Performing comedy as a Jewish person in Germany offers a unique dynamic fueled by historical guilt.
• Finding a truly nuanced perspective on complex geopolitical conflicts like Israel and Palestine is nearly impossible in modern media.
• The modern comedy landscape is largely split between anti-woke political commentary and repetitive crowd work.

Highlights

• 0:01 — Couples Therapy and Mom Jokes
• 1:42 — Morbidly Jewish and Internet Comments
• 4:23 — Conspiracy Theories vs. Horoscopes
• 8:56 — The 2024 Election and Trump's Comedy
• 16:19 — Performing Stand-Up in Germany
• 29:39 — The Hilarious Reality of a Reform Bat Mitzvah
• 32:03 — Searching for a Nuanced Geopolitical Take

00:00:00 Couples Therapy with my Mom
00:01:42 Morbidly Jewish
00:04:23 Joe Rogan
00:06:40 Horoscopes
00:08:56 2024 Election Recap
00:10:29 Maga Snowfalkes
00:10:59 Trump is a Funny Psycho
00:13:21 The Fat Community
00:15:41 Trump and Israel
00:16:19 Performing in Germany
00:17:46 No Longer Nazis
00:18:34 Elon Musk
00:20:09 Circumcision
00:23:40 Is Harry Potter Anti-Semitic
00:24:52 Antisemitic Experience
00:26:08 Cruelty-Free Shampoo
00:28:03 Lights Go Out
00:28:46 Auschwitz Joke
00:29:39 My Cousin's Bat Mitzvah
00:32:03 A Porn Star with a Nuanced Israel Take
00:39:52 Crowd Work and Fascism
00:41:11 Jewish Hitler
00:42:01 ADD Hitler
00:42:49 Ending Credits

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Big<00:03:59.680> fat<00:04:00.000> is<00:04:00.159> a<00:04:00.319> bigger<00:04:00.560> problem<00:04:00.799> in<00:04:00.959> my<00:04:01.120> life.

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It<00:04:01.519> just<00:04:01.680> is.<00:04:01.700> [screaming]<00:04:02.239> For<00:04:02.400> example,<00:04:02.879> I<00:04:03.120> did<00:04:03.280> not<00:04:03.439> lose<00:04:03.599> my<00:04:03.840> virginity<00:04:04.319> at<00:04:04.640> 26<00:04:05.439> 'cause<00:04:05.599> I<00:04:05.760> was<00:04:06.000> morbidly<00:04:06.640> Jewish<00:04:07.120> all<00:04:07.360> through<00:04:07.599> high<00:04:07.760> school.

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It<00:04:10.799> didn't<00:04:11.040> help,<00:04:11.280> but<00:04:11.439> it<00:04:11.599> wasn't<00:04:11.840> the<00:04:12.000> main<00:04:12.319> reason.

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My<00:04:14.480> doctor<00:04:14.720> doesn't<00:04:14.959> tell<00:04:15.040> me<00:04:15.200> to<00:04:15.280> get<00:04:15.439> less<00:04:15.680> Jewy<00:04:16.079> all<00:04:16.239> the<00:04:16.400> time.

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You<00:04:16.880> know,<00:04:17.359> you<00:04:17.519> should<00:04:17.759> get<00:04:17.919> less<00:04:18.160> Jewy<00:04:18.479> for<00:04:18.639> your<00:04:18.799> health.

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[laughter]

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So,<00:04:23.280> I<00:04:23.440> did<00:04:23.680> Rogan<00:04:24.160> and,<00:04:24.560> uh,<00:04:24.639> and<00:04:24.880> we<00:04:25.040> talked<00:04:25.199> about<00:04:25.360> conspiracy<00:04:25.919> theories.

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Now,<00:04:26.479> I'm<00:04:26.639> not<00:04:26.720> really<00:04:26.880> into<00:04:27.120> conspiracy<00:04:27.600> theories<00:04:27.919> and<00:04:28.080> I<00:04:28.160> know<00:04:28.400> which<00:04:28.560> fans<00:04:28.800> are.

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So,<00:04:29.199> I,<00:04:29.360> I<00:04:29.759> was<00:04:29.840> very<00:04:30.000> polite<00:04:30.320> on<00:04:30.560> the<00:04:30.720> show.

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I<00:04:31.199> said,<00:04:31.360> "I'm<00:04:31.680> not<00:04:31.840> really<00:04:32.000> into<00:04:32.240> them.<00:04:32.560> I<00:04:32.800> think<00:04:32.880> it's<00:04:33.040> typically<00:04:33.440> the<00:04:33.680> brain<00:04:34.000> finding<00:04:34.320> patterns<00:04:34.639> that<00:04:34.880> don't<00:04:35.040> really<00:04:35.199> exist<00:04:35.680> and<00:04:35.919> it<00:04:36.080> completely<00:04:36.479> ignores<00:04:36.800> how<00:04:36.960> much

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incompetence<00:04:37.840> plays<00:04:38.080> in<00:04:38.240> every<00:04:38.400> aspect<00:04:38.720> of<00:04:38.960> life."

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But<00:04:39.467> I<00:04:39.734> was<00:04:40.002> very<00:04:40.269> polite<00:04:40.537> and<00:04:40.804> it<00:04:41.072> led<00:04:41.339> to<00:04:41.607> about<00:04:41.874> 5,000<00:04:42.142> people<00:04:42.409> commenting<00:04:42.677> that<00:04:42.944> I<00:04:43.212> was<00:04:43.479> a<00:04:43.747> piece<00:04:44.014> of<00:04:44.282> [<00:04:44.549> __<00:04:44.817> ]<00:04:45.084> [<00:04:45.352> __<00:04:45.619> ]<00:04:45.887> [<00:04:46.154> __<00:04:46.422> ]<00:04:46.689> [<00:04:46.957> __<00:04:47.224> ]<00:04:47.492> [laughter]<00:04:47.759> And

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that<00:04:48.320> was<00:04:48.400> very<00:04:48.639> liberating<00:04:49.840> 'cause<00:04:50.000> what<00:04:50.160> I<00:04:50.320> realized<00:04:50.560> in<00:04:50.720> that<00:04:50.880> moment<00:04:51.120> is<00:04:51.360> you<00:04:51.520> don't<00:04:51.680> have<00:04:51.759> to<00:04:51.840> be<00:04:52.000> polite<00:04:52.320> anymore<00:04:52.960> 'cause<00:04:53.280> people<00:04:53.440> will<00:04:53.600> just<00:04:53.759> hate<00:04:54.000> you<00:04:54.160> now<00:04:54.320> if<00:04:54.479> you<00:04:54.720> disagree

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with<00:04:55.199> them<00:04:55.759> which<00:04:55.919> is<00:04:56.080> liberating<00:04:56.639> 'cause<00:04:56.880> now<00:04:57.120> you<00:04:57.280> can<00:04:57.360> just<00:04:57.520> say<00:04:57.759> whatever<00:04:58.080> you<00:04:58.240> feel.

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It<00:04:58.720> doesn't<00:04:58.880> matter.<00:04:59.360> So<00:04:59.600> here's<00:04:59.840> how<00:05:00.000> I<00:05:00.240> actually<00:05:00.560> feel.

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People<00:05:01.542> who<00:05:01.885> believe<00:05:02.228> in<00:05:02.571> conspiracy<00:05:02.914> theories<00:05:03.257> are<00:05:03.600> [<00:05:03.942> __<00:05:04.285> ]<00:05:04.628> every<00:05:04.971> single<00:05:05.314> one<00:05:05.657> of<00:05:06.000> them.

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Every,<00:05:08.012> and<00:05:08.266> I<00:05:08.519> know<00:05:08.773> there's<00:05:09.026> some<00:05:09.280> here<00:05:09.533> tonight.<00:05:09.786> You're<00:05:10.040> [<00:05:10.293> __<00:05:10.547> ]<00:05:10.800> sorry.

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You're<00:05:12.425> [<00:05:12.690> __<00:05:12.954> ]<00:05:13.219> idiots.<00:05:13.484> And<00:05:13.749> I<00:05:14.014> said<00:05:14.279> that<00:05:14.543> after<00:05:14.808> a<00:05:15.073> show<00:05:15.338> recently<00:05:15.603> and<00:05:15.868> a<00:05:16.132> guy<00:05:16.397> was<00:05:16.662> like,<00:05:16.927> "Well,<00:05:17.192> you<00:05:17.457> know,<00:05:17.721> half<00:05:17.986> of<00:05:18.251> Americans<00:05:18.516> believe<00:05:18.781> in<00:05:19.046> some<00:05:19.310> kind<00:05:19.575> of<00:05:19.840> conspiracy

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theory.<00:05:21.039> Are<00:05:21.199> you<00:05:21.280> saying<00:05:21.520> half<00:05:21.759> of<00:05:21.919> Americans<00:05:22.479> are<00:05:22.639> dumb?"

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No,<00:05:23.440> not<00:05:23.680> at<00:05:23.840> all.<00:05:24.560> Way<00:05:24.880> more<00:05:25.280> than<00:05:25.520> half<00:05:25.840> of<00:05:26.080> Americans.

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Are<00:05:28.028> you<00:05:28.297> out<00:05:28.567> of<00:05:28.836> your<00:05:29.105> mind?<00:05:29.374> It's<00:05:29.643> like<00:05:29.912> [<00:05:30.182> __<00:05:30.451> ]<00:05:30.720> 80%.

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Are<00:05:31.840> you<00:05:32.000> kidding<00:05:32.320> me?<00:05:33.360> Half?

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We<00:05:34.000> should<00:05:34.160> be<00:05:34.400> so<00:05:34.639> lucky.<00:05:36.018> [laughter]<00:05:36.639> Half.

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And<00:05:38.240> I<00:05:38.400> don't<00:05:38.479> mind<00:05:38.720> that<00:05:38.880> conspiracy<00:05:39.360> theorists<00:05:39.759> are<00:05:39.919> dumb.

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The<00:05:40.567> problem<00:05:40.814> is<00:05:41.062> they<00:05:41.309> act<00:05:41.556> skeptical.<00:05:41.803> You're<00:05:42.050> not<00:05:42.297> [<00:05:42.545> __<00:05:42.792> ]<00:05:43.039> skeptical.

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[laughter]<00:05:45.120> I<00:05:45.360> saw<00:05:45.680> Mel<00:05:45.919> Gibson<00:05:46.240> on<00:05:46.479> Rogan<00:05:46.800> and<00:05:46.960> say<00:05:47.120> he<00:05:47.280> was<00:05:47.440> just<00:05:47.600> skeptical<00:05:48.240> about<00:05:48.479> the<00:05:48.720> vaccines.

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Mel<00:05:50.160> Gibson<00:05:50.639> is<00:05:50.880> an<00:05:51.120> evangelical<00:05:52.000> Christian.

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[laughter]

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You<00:05:56.560> cannot<00:05:57.039> be<00:05:57.280> skeptical<00:05:58.479> and<00:05:58.720> then<00:05:58.960> pray<00:05:59.199> to<00:05:59.360> a<00:05:59.600> virgin<00:06:00.000> who<00:06:00.320> gave<00:06:00.560> birth<00:06:01.039> to<00:06:01.360> a<00:06:01.600> Jewish<00:06:02.080> wizard.

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[laughter]

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That<00:06:08.319> is<00:06:08.479> not<00:06:08.800> how<00:06:09.120> skepticism<00:06:10.000> works.

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You<00:06:11.690> are<00:06:11.940> believing<00:06:12.190> [<00:06:12.440> __<00:06:12.690> ].<00:06:12.940> That<00:06:13.190> is<00:06:13.440> wrong.

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[laughter]

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And<00:06:18.639> I,<00:06:18.800> I<00:06:19.039> know<00:06:19.120> there's<00:06:19.360> some<00:06:19.520> Joe<00:06:19.759> Rogan<00:06:20.240> heads<00:06:20.479> in<00:06:20.639> here<00:06:20.800> tonight.

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And<00:06:21.280> I<00:06:21.440> know<00:06:21.520> what<00:06:21.600> you're<00:06:21.759> all<00:06:21.919> thinking.<00:06:22.240> You're<00:06:22.400> like,<00:06:22.479> "Well,<00:06:22.720> he's<00:06:22.880> good,<00:06:23.120> man.

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He<00:06:23.440> has<00:06:23.600> different<00:06:23.840> viewpoints<00:06:24.400> on.<00:06:24.720> That's<00:06:24.880> what<00:06:25.039> matters.

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One<00:06:25.840> week<00:06:26.000> he'll<00:06:26.160> have<00:06:26.240> a<00:06:26.479> Holocaust<00:06:26.960> denier<00:06:27.360> on,<00:06:27.759> but<00:06:28.000> then<00:06:28.160> the<00:06:28.319> next<00:06:28.479> week<00:06:28.720> he'll<00:06:28.960> have<00:06:29.039> a<00:06:29.199> different<00:06:29.440> Holocaust<00:06:29.919> denier<00:06:30.479> on

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who<00:06:32.479> argue<00:06:32.800> about<00:06:33.120> the<00:06:33.280> other<00:06:33.520> Holocaust<00:06:34.080> denier.

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You<00:06:35.759> have<00:06:35.919> different<00:06:36.319> viewpoints,<00:06:36.960> you<00:06:37.199> know.

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[laughter]

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Now,<00:06:41.269> liberals<00:06:41.499> are<00:06:41.729> dumb,<00:06:41.959> too.<00:06:42.189> All<00:06:42.419> right.<00:06:42.649> Liberals<00:06:42.880> have<00:06:43.110> their<00:06:43.340> own<00:06:43.570> version<00:06:43.800> of<00:06:44.030> the<00:06:44.260> dumb<00:06:44.490> conspiracy<00:06:44.720> theory.

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Liberals'<00:06:45.680> version<00:06:45.840> of<00:06:45.919> that<00:06:46.160> is<00:06:46.319> a<00:06:46.479> horoscope.

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They're<00:06:50.319> like,<00:06:50.479> "Yeah,<00:06:50.800> they're<00:06:50.960> like,<00:06:51.120> I<00:06:51.280> hate<00:06:51.440> the<00:06:51.520> extreme<00:06:51.840> right,<00:06:52.080> which<00:06:52.319> are<00:06:52.479> crazy<00:06:52.800> conspiracy<00:06:53.360> theories.

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As<00:06:54.364> an<00:06:54.567> Aquarius,<00:06:54.771> I'm<00:06:54.975> not<00:06:55.178> into<00:06:55.382> that<00:06:55.585> [<00:06:55.789> __<00:06:55.993> ]<00:06:56.196> at<00:06:56.400> all."

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[laughter]

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When<00:07:01.599> Biden<00:07:02.000> dropped<00:07:02.240> out,<00:07:02.479> like<00:07:02.639> a<00:07:02.720> lot<00:07:02.800> of<00:07:02.880> comedians<00:07:03.360> had<00:07:03.520> like<00:07:03.680> funny<00:07:04.000> takes.

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None<00:07:04.720> of<00:07:04.880> them<00:07:05.120> were<00:07:05.360> as<00:07:05.599> funny<00:07:05.840> as<00:07:06.080> a<00:07:06.319> sincere<00:07:06.800> tweet<00:07:07.360> by<00:07:07.599> this<00:07:07.759> guy<00:07:07.919> I<00:07:08.080> knew<00:07:08.240> in<00:07:08.400> college<00:07:08.720> who's<00:07:08.960> like<00:07:09.120> really<00:07:09.360> into<00:07:09.599> horoscopes.

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This<00:07:10.479> is<00:07:10.560> an<00:07:10.800> actual<00:07:11.120> tweet<00:07:11.360> by<00:07:11.599> a<00:07:11.759> real<00:07:12.000> human<00:07:12.240> being.

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[laughter]<00:07:13.135> And<00:07:13.311> I'm<00:07:13.487> going<00:07:13.663> to<00:07:13.840> read<00:07:14.016> it<00:07:14.192> to<00:07:14.368> you<00:07:14.544> out<00:07:14.720> loud.

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He<00:07:15.440> wrote,<00:07:16.560> "I<00:07:16.880> cannot<00:07:17.199> believe<00:07:18.720> that<00:07:18.960> he<00:07:19.199> dropped<00:07:19.520> out<00:07:20.720> on<00:07:20.960> a<00:07:21.199> full<00:07:21.520> moon

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[laughter]

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on<00:07:28.400> Capricorn<00:07:29.120> day,"<00:07:30.720> and<00:07:30.880> it's<00:07:31.199> 29th<00:07:31.919> degree.

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And<00:07:32.967> then<00:07:33.133> he<00:07:33.300> said,<00:07:33.467> and<00:07:33.633> this<00:07:33.800> part<00:07:33.967> I'm<00:07:34.133> [<00:07:34.300> __<00:07:34.467> ]<00:07:34.633> obsessed<00:07:34.800> with.

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He<00:07:35.373> said,<00:07:35.627> and<00:07:35.880> I<00:07:36.133> quote,<00:07:36.387> "You<00:07:36.640> can't<00:07:36.893> make<00:07:37.147> this<00:07:37.400> [<00:07:37.653> __<00:07:37.907> ]<00:07:38.160> up."

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[laughter]

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You<00:07:46.599> can't<00:07:46.879> make<00:07:47.159> it<00:07:47.439> up.<00:07:47.719> Seriously,<00:07:48.000> what<00:07:48.280> are<00:07:48.560> the<00:07:48.840> [<00:07:49.120> __<00:07:49.400> ]<00:07:49.680> odds?

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What<00:07:51.440> are<00:07:51.599> the<00:07:51.840> odds<00:07:52.240> that<00:07:52.560> something<00:07:52.960> not<00:07:53.360> real<00:07:54.720> happen<00:07:55.039> at<00:07:55.280> the<00:07:55.440> same<00:07:55.759> time<00:07:56.720> as<00:07:57.120> something<00:07:57.440> real?

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It's<00:07:59.600> [<00:07:59.840> __<00:08:00.079> ]<00:08:00.319> crazy.

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And<00:08:03.848> I<00:08:04.016> don't<00:08:04.184> want<00:08:04.352> to<00:08:04.520> spell<00:08:04.688> out,<00:08:04.856> but<00:08:05.024> this<00:08:05.192> is<00:08:05.360> true.

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My<00:08:05.848> balls<00:08:06.097> were<00:08:06.346> itched<00:08:06.595> right<00:08:06.844> when<00:08:07.093> Trump<00:08:07.342> got<00:08:07.591> shot<00:08:07.840> at.

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I<00:08:08.240> swear<00:08:08.479> to<00:08:08.639> God.<00:08:10.319> I<00:08:10.639> swear<00:08:10.960> to<00:08:11.120> God.

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You<00:08:12.080> know<00:08:12.160> how<00:08:12.319> people's<00:08:12.560> knees<00:08:12.800> act<00:08:12.960> up<00:08:13.039> as<00:08:13.199> the<00:08:13.360> rain?<00:08:13.599> That's<00:08:13.759> my<00:08:13.919> balls<00:08:14.319> as<00:08:14.479> assassination<00:08:15.120> attempts.

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I<00:08:15.680> swear<00:08:15.919> to<00:08:16.000> God.<00:08:17.440> I<00:08:17.840> started<00:08:18.240> 2<00:08:18.479> minutes<00:08:18.720> before<00:08:19.039> 9/11,<00:08:19.680> folks.

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I<00:08:20.160> swear<00:08:20.400> to<00:08:20.560> God.<00:08:21.840> It's<00:08:22.160> crazy.

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You<00:08:22.828> cannot<00:08:23.096> make<00:08:23.365> this<00:08:23.633> [<00:08:23.901> __<00:08:24.169> ]<00:08:24.438> up.<00:08:24.706> People<00:08:24.974> who<00:08:25.242> believe<00:08:25.511> in<00:08:25.779> horoscopes<00:08:26.047> are<00:08:26.315> [<00:08:26.584> __<00:08:26.852> ]<00:08:27.120> idiots.

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I'm<00:08:27.680> sorry.<00:08:28.479> Once<00:08:28.800> again,<00:08:29.039> some<00:08:29.199> of<00:08:29.280> you<00:08:29.360> might<00:08:29.520> be<00:08:29.599> here<00:08:29.759> tonight.

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You're<00:08:30.501> [<00:08:30.922> __<00:08:31.343> ]<00:08:31.764> idiots.<00:08:32.185> Just<00:08:32.606> be<00:08:33.027> religious,<00:08:33.448> you<00:08:33.869> [<00:08:34.291> __<00:08:34.712> ]<00:08:35.133> [laughter]<00:08:35.554> If<00:08:35.975> you're<00:08:36.396> going<00:08:36.817> to<00:08:37.238> be<00:08:37.659> wrong,<00:08:38.080> have

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Some<00:08:38.560> tradition<00:08:38.959> behind<00:08:39.279> it.<00:08:39.599> You<00:08:39.760> know,<00:08:40.730> [laughter]<00:08:41.360> and<00:08:41.599> if<00:08:41.760> you're<00:08:41.919> offended,<00:08:42.399> it's<00:08:42.640> not<00:08:42.719> my<00:08:42.959> fault.

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I'm<00:08:43.279> a<00:08:43.440> Gemini.

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That<00:08:47.382> totally<00:08:47.564> worked,<00:08:47.745> by<00:08:47.927> the<00:08:48.109> way.<00:08:48.291> [laughter]<00:08:48.473> Couple<00:08:48.655> of<00:08:48.836> you<00:08:49.018> are<00:08:49.200> mad<00:08:49.382> and<00:08:49.564> then<00:08:49.745> I<00:08:49.927> said<00:08:50.109> that<00:08:50.291> and<00:08:50.473> you're<00:08:50.655> like,<00:08:50.836> you<00:08:51.018> know<00:08:51.200> what?

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That<00:08:51.519> is<00:08:51.680> how<00:08:51.760> a<00:08:51.920> Gemini<00:08:52.320> would<00:08:52.480> act.<00:08:53.176> [laughter]

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Even<00:08:57.839> though<00:08:58.240> uh<00:08:58.480> even<00:08:58.640> though<00:08:58.880> Kamala<00:08:59.360> lost,<00:08:59.600> I'm<00:08:59.760> glad<00:08:59.920> Biden<00:09:00.320> dropped<00:09:00.560> out.

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I<00:09:00.880> have<00:09:01.040> because<00:09:01.279> that<00:09:01.440> debate<00:09:01.680> between<00:09:01.920> him<00:09:02.080> and<00:09:02.240> Trump,<00:09:02.640> that<00:09:02.800> was<00:09:02.880> the<00:09:03.120> most<00:09:03.200> embarrassing<00:09:03.600> [shit]<00:09:03.839> I'd<00:09:04.080> ever<00:09:04.240> seen<00:09:04.399> in<00:09:04.640> my<00:09:04.800> [fucking]<00:09:05.120> life.

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I<00:09:05.839> was<00:09:05.920> like,<00:09:06.160> really?<00:09:06.480> These<00:09:06.800> are<00:09:07.040> options?<00:09:08.720> These<00:09:09.040> are<00:09:09.279> options.

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A<00:09:09.920> guy<00:09:10.160> convicted<00:09:10.560> of<00:09:10.800> rape<00:09:11.120> and<00:09:11.360> a<00:09:11.519> guy<00:09:11.680> who<00:09:11.839> looks<00:09:12.080> like<00:09:12.240> he<00:09:12.480> just<00:09:12.640> got<00:09:12.800> roofied<00:09:13.360> by<00:09:13.519> a<00:09:13.680> rapist.

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See<00:09:18.160> Biden<00:09:18.560> wobbling<00:09:19.040> on<00:09:19.279> stage.<00:09:20.031> [laughter]<00:09:20.640> Trump<00:09:20.880> was<00:09:21.120> like,<00:09:21.279> I<00:09:21.440> feel<00:09:21.519> like<00:09:21.600> I'm<00:09:21.760> on<00:09:21.839> a<00:09:22.000> date<00:09:22.240> right<00:09:22.399> now.

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There's<00:09:22.959> also<00:09:24.640> like<00:09:24.880> taking<00:09:25.120> him<00:09:25.360> home<00:09:25.600> later.

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<00:09:26.931> [laughter]<00:09:27.281> <00:09:27.631> That<00:09:27.981> was<00:09:28.331> the<00:09:28.680> election<00:09:29.030> for<00:09:29.380> a<00:09:29.730> little<00:09:30.080> bit.

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The<00:09:30.480> election<00:09:30.959> was<00:09:31.120> between<00:09:31.760> a<00:09:32.080> rapist<00:09:32.480> and<00:09:32.720> a<00:09:32.880> guy<00:09:32.959> who<00:09:33.120> looked<00:09:33.279> like<00:09:33.440> he<00:09:33.600> got<00:09:33.760> roofied<00:09:34.240> by<00:09:34.399> a<00:09:34.560> rapist.

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[laughter]<00:09:35.519> And<00:09:35.760> America<00:09:36.240> was<00:09:36.480> torn.

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They<00:09:39.600> were<00:09:39.839> jarring.<00:09:40.240> They<00:09:40.320> were<00:09:40.399> like,<00:09:40.560> "This<00:09:40.800> is<00:09:40.959> this<00:09:41.120> is<00:09:41.279> really<00:09:41.600> hard.

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[laughter]<00:09:43.600> This<00:09:43.839> is<00:09:44.000> This<00:09:44.160> is<00:09:44.320> tough.

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The<00:09:46.000> The<00:09:46.399> rapist<00:09:47.279> is<00:09:47.839> more<00:09:48.160> alert.

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[laughter]

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He<00:09:52.720> is<00:09:53.040> more<00:09:53.360> alert<00:09:53.839> than<00:09:54.080> the<00:09:54.240> roofie<00:09:54.720> guy.

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That<00:09:55.413> <00:09:55.786> [laughter]<00:09:56.160> <00:09:56.533> That's<00:09:56.906> typically<00:09:57.280> true<00:09:57.653> of<00:09:58.026> most<00:09:58.399> rapists<00:09:58.773> versus<00:09:59.146> roofie<00:09:59.519> people.

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[laughter]<00:10:01.680> I<00:10:01.839> don't<00:10:01.920> know.<00:10:02.240> This<00:10:02.399> is<00:10:02.800> This<00:10:03.040> is<00:10:03.200> tough.

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And<00:10:04.880> then<00:10:05.040> we<00:10:05.279> replaced<00:10:05.760> uh<00:10:05.920> the<00:10:06.080> roofie<00:10:06.399> guy<00:10:06.560> with<00:10:06.720> a<00:10:06.880> woman<00:10:07.120> with<00:10:07.279> like<00:10:07.360> an<00:10:07.600> annoying<00:10:07.920> laugh.

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And<00:10:08.480> America<00:10:08.800> was<00:10:09.040> like,<00:10:09.120> "This<00:10:09.440> guy<00:10:09.839> even<00:10:10.080> harder.

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This<00:10:10.800> guy."<00:10:13.087> [laughter]<00:10:13.920> And<00:10:14.160> I<00:10:14.320> voted<00:10:14.560> for<00:10:14.640> the<00:10:14.800> woman<00:10:14.880> with<00:10:15.040> the<00:10:15.200> annoying<00:10:15.440> laugh.

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I<00:10:15.920> did.<00:10:16.399> Which<00:10:16.560> was<00:10:16.720> going<00:10:17.040> against<00:10:17.680> my<00:10:17.920> self-interest.

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Yeah.<00:10:19.519> Cuz<00:10:19.680> a<00:10:19.839> rapist<00:10:20.560> has<00:10:20.880> never<00:10:21.279> ruined<00:10:21.680> a<00:10:21.839> comedy<00:10:22.240> show<00:10:22.399> of<00:10:22.560> mine.

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[laughter]

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<00:10:28.518> [laughter]<00:10:28.884> <00:10:29.251> Like<00:10:29.617> Trump<00:10:29.983> supporters<00:10:30.349> are<00:10:30.716> funny<00:10:31.082> because<00:10:31.448> they're<00:10:31.814> like,<00:10:32.180> "Liberals<00:10:32.547> are<00:10:32.913> so<00:10:33.279> sensitive."

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That's<00:10:33.920> what<00:10:34.079> they<00:10:34.160> all<00:10:34.320> say.<00:10:34.399> "Liberals<00:10:34.880> are<00:10:35.040> so<00:10:35.279> sensitive."

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And<00:10:35.920> then<00:10:36.079> you<00:10:36.320> make<00:10:36.399> one<00:10:36.640> joke<00:10:36.880> about<00:10:37.120> Trump<00:10:37.360> and<00:10:37.519> they're<00:10:37.680> like,<00:10:37.839> "Shut<00:10:38.399> the<00:10:38.640> [fuck]<00:10:38.959> up.

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[laughter]<00:10:40.800> Shut<00:10:41.120> up.<00:10:42.399> You<00:10:42.560> do<00:10:42.800> not<00:10:43.040> talk<00:10:43.217> [screaming]<00:10:43.279> about<00:10:43.519> my<00:10:43.839> daddy<00:10:44.240> like<00:10:44.480> that.

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Shut<00:10:45.279> up.<00:10:46.240> You<00:10:46.560> [fucking]<00:10:47.200> emotional.

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Easily<00:10:50.160> offend.<00:10:50.422> [laughter]<00:10:52.399> Quit<00:10:52.800> crying.

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[screaming]<00:10:55.120> I<00:10:55.440> am<00:10:55.600> not<00:10:55.920> projecting<00:10:56.720> at<00:10:57.040> all.

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[laughter]<00:10:59.760> So,<00:10:59.920> I'll<00:11:00.079> tell<00:11:00.160> you<00:11:00.320> one<00:11:00.480> nice<00:11:00.720> thing<00:11:00.800> about<00:11:01.040> Dr.

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I<00:11:03.360> I'm<00:11:03.519> not<00:11:03.680> a<00:11:03.839> fan,<00:11:04.079> but<00:11:04.240> I'll<00:11:04.399> tell<00:11:04.480> you<00:11:04.560> one<00:11:04.800> thing.

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He<00:11:05.519> does<00:11:05.680> have<00:11:05.760> a<00:11:05.920> rare<00:11:06.160> quality.<00:11:06.480> You<00:11:06.720> have<00:11:06.800> to<00:11:06.880> admit<00:11:07.120> that,<00:11:07.519> which<00:11:07.760> is<00:11:07.839> that<00:11:08.240> he<00:11:08.399> is<00:11:08.560> a<00:11:08.720> psycho,<00:11:09.279> but<00:11:09.600> he's<00:11:09.920> pretty<00:11:10.160> [fucking]<00:11:10.480> funny.

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He<00:11:10.959> is.<00:11:12.320> He<00:11:12.560> is.

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And<00:11:12.959> that's<00:11:13.120> a<00:11:13.279> rare<00:11:13.600> quality.<00:11:14.240> There's<00:11:14.560> not<00:11:14.640> a<00:11:14.800> lot<00:11:14.880> of<00:11:15.040> funny<00:11:15.360> psychos<00:11:15.920> through<00:11:16.160> history.

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There<00:11:16.880> just<00:11:17.040> isn't<00:11:17.920> like<00:11:18.240> Hitler<00:11:18.640> was<00:11:18.800> never<00:11:19.040> slinging<00:11:19.600> jokes.

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That<00:11:20.079> was<00:11:20.320> it.<00:11:21.839> Hitler<00:11:22.240> was<00:11:22.480> never<00:11:22.640> like<00:11:22.880> Eleanor<00:11:23.279> Roosevelt<00:11:23.920> of<00:11:24.079> four.

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[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:11:31.215> <00:11:31.399> Well,<00:11:31.582> I'm<00:11:31.766> just<00:11:31.949> saying.<00:11:32.133> Have<00:11:32.316> you<00:11:32.499> seen<00:11:32.683> her?<00:11:32.866> She's<00:11:33.050> [fucking]<00:11:33.233> dog<00:11:33.417> [shit]<00:11:33.600> ugly.

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Am<00:11:33.920> I<00:11:34.079> wrong?<00:11:35.680> I<00:11:35.920> wouldn't<00:11:36.079> [fuck]<00:11:36.399> with<00:11:36.480> a<00:11:36.640> 10ft<00:11:37.040> pole.

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I'm<00:11:37.519> just<00:11:37.760> saying.<00:11:39.200> If<00:11:39.440> FDR<00:11:39.920> can<00:11:40.079> move,<00:11:40.160> he'd<00:11:40.399> have<00:11:40.480> left<00:11:40.640> that<00:11:40.800> [bitch]<00:11:41.040> a<00:11:41.279> long<00:11:41.440> time<00:11:41.600> ago.

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That's<00:11:42.079> all<00:11:42.240> I'm<00:11:42.480> saying.<00:11:44.133> [laughter]

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And<00:11:46.880> that<00:11:47.120> joke<00:11:47.360> is<00:11:47.519> actually<00:11:47.760> more<00:11:48.000> relevant<00:11:48.399> than<00:11:48.560> it<00:11:48.720> appears<00:11:49.120> because<00:11:49.360> polio<00:11:49.839> is<00:11:50.079> coming<00:11:50.320> back.

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So<00:11:50.959> that<00:11:51.200> joke,<00:11:51.993> [laughter]<00:11:53.839> what<00:11:54.079> I<00:11:54.320> like<00:11:54.560> about<00:11:54.800> RFK<00:11:55.440> Jr.

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is<00:11:56.320> that<00:11:56.480> he's<00:11:56.720> helping<00:11:56.959> me<00:11:57.200> relive<00:11:57.600> my<00:11:57.839> childhood<00:11:58.720> by<00:11:58.959> bringing<00:11:59.279> back<00:11:59.519> all<00:11:59.680> the<00:11:59.920> diseases<00:12:00.320> that<00:12:00.560> used<00:12:00.720> to<00:12:00.880> kill<00:12:01.040> me<00:12:01.200> when<00:12:01.360> I<00:12:01.519> played<00:12:01.680> the<00:12:01.839> Oregon<00:12:02.320> Trail<00:12:02.640> computer<00:12:03.040> game.

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[laughter]

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And<00:12:07.200> that<00:12:07.360> was<00:12:07.440> an<00:12:07.680> important<00:12:07.920> part<00:12:08.160> of<00:12:08.320> my<00:12:08.480> life<00:12:08.639> in<00:12:08.800> the<00:12:08.959> '90s,<00:12:09.440> you<00:12:09.519> know.

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And<00:12:09.839> now<00:12:10.000> he's<00:12:10.240> bringing<00:12:10.399> it<00:12:10.560> back<00:12:10.800> all<00:12:10.959> the<00:12:11.120> time.<00:12:11.600> He's<00:12:11.839> bringing<00:12:12.079> back<00:12:12.240> like<00:12:12.399> [fucking]<00:12:12.639> typhoid.

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I'm<00:12:13.360> like,<00:12:13.519> I<00:12:13.680> remember<00:12:13.920> that<00:12:14.079> killed<00:12:14.320> my<00:12:14.480> whole<00:12:14.639> family.<00:12:16.883> [laughter]

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RFK<00:12:20.000> Jr.<00:12:20.320> is<00:12:20.480> trying<00:12:20.560> to<00:12:20.720> create<00:12:20.800> a<00:12:20.959> registry<00:12:21.360> now<00:12:21.600> for<00:12:21.760> like<00:12:21.920> all<00:12:22.240> autistic<00:12:22.800> people.

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I<00:12:23.200> don't<00:12:23.279> know<00:12:23.360> if<00:12:23.440> you<00:12:23.600> read<00:12:23.760> that.<00:12:24.000> He's<00:12:24.160> trying<00:12:24.240> to<00:12:24.399> create<00:12:24.720> a<00:12:24.959> registry<00:12:25.360> where<00:12:25.440> he's<00:12:25.600> trying<00:12:25.760> to<00:12:25.839> put<00:12:25.920> the<00:12:26.079> name<00:12:26.240> of<00:12:26.480> every<00:12:26.720> autistic<00:12:27.279> person<00:12:27.519> in<00:12:27.839> America<00:12:28.320> into<00:12:28.639> a

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giant<00:12:29.200> database<00:12:30.079> which<00:12:30.399> feels<00:12:30.800> pretty<00:12:31.279> autistic<00:12:31.920> if<00:12:32.160> I'm<00:12:32.320> to<00:12:32.399> be<00:12:32.560> honest.

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[laughter]

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Feels<00:12:37.279> like<00:12:37.360> he<00:12:37.519> should<00:12:37.680> be<00:12:37.839> number<00:12:38.000> one<00:12:38.160> on<00:12:38.320> that<00:12:38.480> list,<00:12:38.800> right?

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I<00:12:40.320> want<00:12:40.480> to<00:12:40.560> put<00:12:40.720> everyone<00:12:41.040> with<00:12:41.279> autism<00:12:41.680> in<00:12:41.839> a<00:12:42.000> giant<00:12:42.240> Excel<00:12:42.639> spreadsheet.

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[laughter]

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But<00:12:46.959> Trump<00:12:47.279> is<00:12:47.440> funny.<00:12:47.680> He<00:12:47.839> is.<00:12:48.079> And<00:12:48.240> a<00:12:48.320> lot<00:12:48.399> of<00:12:48.480> liberals<00:12:48.880> act<00:12:49.040> like<00:12:49.200> he's<00:12:49.360> not<00:12:49.519> funny,<00:12:49.680> which<00:12:49.920> is<00:12:50.000> frankly<00:12:50.320> gaslighting.

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It<00:12:51.200> is.<00:12:52.560> A<00:12:52.800> lot<00:12:52.880> of<00:12:52.959> liberals<00:12:53.279> will<00:12:53.440> be<00:12:53.519> like,<00:12:53.600> "He's<00:12:53.920> not<00:12:54.079> funny.

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He<00:12:54.560> makes<00:12:54.720> fun<00:12:54.800> of<00:12:54.959> other<00:12:55.120> people<00:12:55.279> for<00:12:55.519> being<00:12:55.680> unattractive<00:12:56.160> when<00:12:56.399> he's<00:12:56.639> unattractive.

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That's<00:12:57.519> not<00:12:57.760> funny."<00:12:58.880> Yes,<00:12:59.200> it<00:12:59.440> [fucking]<00:12:59.839> is.

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[laughter]<00:13:02.079> That<00:13:02.320> is<00:13:02.560> what's<00:13:02.959> funny.

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He's<00:13:04.800> ugly<00:13:04.959> and<00:13:05.200> he<00:13:05.360> calls<00:13:05.600> other<00:13:05.839> people<00:13:06.240> ugly.

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That's<00:13:06.800> [fucking]<00:13:07.120> hilarious.<00:13:08.560> He<00:13:08.800> like<00:13:09.040> thinks<00:13:09.279> he's<00:13:09.600> hot.

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It's<00:13:10.160> [fucking]<00:13:10.480> hysterical.<00:13:12.639> He<00:13:12.880> will<00:13:13.040> call<00:13:13.279> other<00:13:13.519> people<00:13:13.839> fat<00:13:14.240> who<00:13:14.480> are<00:13:14.720> less<00:13:15.040> fat<00:13:15.360> than<00:13:15.600> him.

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Which<00:13:17.519> I<00:13:17.680> totally<00:13:18.000> get,<00:13:18.240> by<00:13:18.399> the<00:13:18.480> way.<00:13:18.720> Good.<00:13:19.764> [laughter]<00:13:21.279> No,<00:13:21.600> as<00:13:21.839> a<00:13:22.000> fat<00:13:22.160> guy,<00:13:22.399> you<00:13:22.639> always<00:13:22.880> assume<00:13:23.200> other<00:13:23.440> fat<00:13:23.680> people<00:13:23.839> are<00:13:24.000> fatter.

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That's<00:13:24.480> just<00:13:24.639> how<00:13:24.800> it<00:13:24.959> works.<00:13:26.000> That's<00:13:26.240> our<00:13:26.480> psychology.

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We<00:13:27.200> have<00:13:27.360> no<00:13:27.600> community<00:13:28.000> as<00:13:28.240> fat<00:13:28.480> people.<00:13:28.800> No,<00:13:29.589> [laughter]<00:13:30.079> I'm<00:13:30.240> ser<00:13:30.480> I<00:13:30.639> swear<00:13:30.800> to<00:13:30.880> God,<00:13:31.120> every<00:13:31.360> fat<00:13:31.600> person<00:13:31.839> in<00:13:32.079> here,<00:13:32.240> I<00:13:32.399> think<00:13:32.560> you're<00:13:32.720> fatter<00:13:33.040> than<00:13:33.200> me<00:13:34.079> and<00:13:34.320> you<00:13:34.480> think

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I'm<00:13:34.880> fatter<00:13:35.120> than<00:13:35.279> you.<00:13:35.519> That's<00:13:35.680> just<00:13:35.839> how<00:13:36.000> it<00:13:36.160> works.

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[laughter]<00:13:38.079> Fat<00:13:38.320> people<00:13:38.560> have<00:13:38.800> no<00:13:39.040> community.

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Like<00:13:39.839> a<00:13:40.000> black<00:13:40.160> guy<00:13:40.399> goes<00:13:40.560> to<00:13:40.639> a<00:13:40.800> party<00:13:40.959> and<00:13:41.120> there's<00:13:41.360> another<00:13:41.680> black<00:13:41.839> guy,<00:13:42.160> they<00:13:42.320> both<00:13:42.480> nod.

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If<00:13:43.120> a<00:13:43.279> fat<00:13:43.519> guy<00:13:43.680> goes<00:13:43.839> to<00:13:43.920> a<00:13:44.079> party<00:13:44.240> and<00:13:44.480> there's<00:13:44.720> another<00:13:44.959> fat<00:13:45.200> guy,<00:13:45.760> they<00:13:45.920> both<00:13:46.160> just<00:13:46.320> think,<00:13:46.480> "Thank<00:13:46.800> God<00:13:46.959> I'm<00:13:47.120> not<00:13:47.200> the<00:13:47.360> fattest<00:13:47.680> piece<00:13:47.839> of<00:13:47.929> [laughter]<00:13:48.000> [shit]<00:13:48.240> out

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of<00:13:48.480> this<00:13:48.639> party.

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We<00:13:54.880> all<00:13:55.040> like<00:13:55.200> fat<00:13:55.519> positive<00:13:55.920> for<00:13:56.079> 3<00:13:56.320> years.

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Remember<00:13:56.959> that?<00:13:57.839> That<00:13:58.079> was<00:13:58.240> fun."

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For<00:13:58.720> like<00:13:58.959> 3<00:13:59.120> years,<00:13:59.360> we're<00:13:59.600> like<00:13:59.839> being<00:14:00.160> fat<00:14:00.959> is<00:14:01.279> beautiful.

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[laughter]<00:14:03.279> There's<00:14:03.600> nothing<00:14:04.000> wrong<00:14:04.240> with<00:14:04.560> it.

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It's<00:14:05.279> gorgeous.<00:14:05.920> It's<00:14:06.160> just<00:14:06.320> a<00:14:06.560> different<00:14:06.880> body<00:14:07.279> type.

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Nothing<00:14:08.399> wrong<00:14:08.880> at<00:14:09.199> all.<00:14:10.000> And<00:14:10.160> then<00:14:10.399> the<00:14:10.639> minute<00:14:10.959> Ozempic<00:14:11.600> came<00:14:11.760> out,<00:14:12.000> we're<00:14:12.240> like<00:14:12.399> just<00:14:12.639> joking<00:14:13.199> about<00:14:13.440> all<00:14:13.680> that.

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Ah,<00:14:15.839> you<00:14:16.000> call<00:14:16.160> my<00:14:16.399> bluff.<00:14:16.800> I'm<00:14:16.959> just<00:14:17.120> joking.

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I<00:14:18.720> only<00:14:18.959> thought<00:14:19.040> it<00:14:19.199> was<00:14:19.279> beautiful<00:14:19.600> before<00:14:19.760> I<00:14:19.920> knew<00:14:20.079> there<00:14:20.240> was<00:14:20.320> a<00:14:20.480> cure<00:14:20.720> for<00:14:20.880> it,<00:14:21.120> but<00:14:21.360> if<00:14:21.519> there's<00:14:21.680> a<00:14:21.839> cure.

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[laughter]<00:14:24.399> No,<00:14:24.639> it's<00:14:24.959> obviously<00:14:25.360> gross,<00:14:25.839> you<00:14:26.000> know.

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I<00:14:28.000> never<00:14:28.160> liked<00:14:28.399> the<00:14:28.560> fat<00:14:28.800> positive<00:14:29.120> movement,<00:14:29.519> you<00:14:29.600> know.

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I<00:14:29.920> never<00:14:30.079> did.<00:14:30.320> And<00:14:30.399> I<00:14:30.560> can<00:14:30.639> talk<00:14:30.800> about<00:14:30.880> it.<00:14:31.120> I'm<00:14:31.279> part<00:14:31.440> of<00:14:31.519> the<00:14:31.680> community.

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I<00:14:33.600> never<00:14:33.760> liked<00:14:34.000> it<00:14:34.320> for<00:14:34.560> one<00:14:34.800> simple<00:14:35.040> reason.

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If<00:14:35.440> if<00:14:35.600> you<00:14:35.760> don't<00:14:35.839> know<00:14:35.920> the<00:14:36.000> fat<00:14:36.240> positive<00:14:36.560> movement,<00:14:36.800> it's<00:14:37.120> you<00:14:37.199> know,<00:14:37.279> it's<00:14:37.440> usually<00:14:37.680> like<00:14:37.920> women<00:14:38.160> overweight<00:14:38.720> or<00:14:39.040> posting<00:14:39.440> online<00:14:39.760> like<00:14:40.000> I'm<00:14:40.160> fat<00:14:40.399> and<00:14:40.560> I'm<00:14:40.800> beautiful

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and<00:14:41.600> everyone's<00:14:41.920> like<00:14:42.079> you<00:14:42.320> go<00:14:42.560> girl.<00:14:42.959> You<00:14:43.120> know,<00:14:43.680> I<00:14:43.920> never<00:14:44.079> like<00:14:44.320> that<00:14:44.560> movement<00:14:44.959> for<00:14:45.199> one<00:14:45.360> simple<00:14:45.760> reason,<00:14:46.160> okay?

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Cuz<00:14:47.199> I<00:14:47.440> don't<00:14:47.600> want<00:14:47.839> people<00:14:48.480> to<00:14:48.720> be<00:14:48.880> proud<00:14:49.120> of<00:14:49.279> me<00:14:49.680> for<00:14:50.000> being<00:14:50.240> okay<00:14:50.800> with<00:14:51.040> being<00:14:51.360> fat.

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I<00:14:53.040> want<00:14:53.279> people<00:14:54.079> to<00:14:54.399> [fuck]<00:14:54.639> me.

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[laughter]<00:15:01.040> Give<00:15:01.199> a<00:15:01.360> [fuck]<00:15:01.680> about<00:15:01.839> your<00:15:02.079> pride.

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[fuck]<00:15:03.920> your<00:15:04.079> pride.<00:15:04.399> Suck<00:15:04.720> my<00:15:04.880> dick.<00:15:05.120> That's<00:15:05.279> how<00:15:05.440> I<00:15:05.680> feel.

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[laughter]<00:15:07.440> I'd<00:15:07.680> rather<00:15:07.920> you<00:15:08.079> fat<00:15:08.320> shame<00:15:08.560> me<00:15:08.639> and<00:15:08.800> [fuck]<00:15:09.040> me<00:15:09.279> than<00:15:09.680> than<00:15:09.839> not<00:15:10.079> [fuck]<00:15:10.320> me<00:15:10.399> and<00:15:10.560> feel<00:15:10.800> pride.

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[laughter]<00:15:12.639> I'd<00:15:12.880> rather<00:15:13.040> you<00:15:13.199> be<00:15:13.279> like,<00:15:13.440> "Yeah,<00:15:13.680> give<00:15:13.760> me<00:15:13.920> that<00:15:14.079> dick,<00:15:14.320> you<00:15:14.480> fat<00:15:14.720> little<00:15:14.880> piggy."

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Yeah.<00:15:16.560> Oh,<00:15:16.800> your<00:15:17.040> tits<00:15:17.279> are<00:15:17.440> bigger<00:15:17.680> than<00:15:17.839> mine.

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Yeah.<00:15:18.577> Oink.<00:15:18.913> Oink.<00:15:19.250> Oink.<00:15:19.587> [laughter]<00:15:19.923> I<00:15:20.260> mean,<00:15:20.597> I<00:15:20.933> like<00:15:21.270> that<00:15:21.607> for<00:15:21.943> a<00:15:22.280> whole<00:15:22.617> bunch<00:15:22.953> of<00:15:23.290> reasons<00:15:23.627> we<00:15:23.963> don't<00:15:24.300> have<00:15:24.637> to<00:15:24.973> go<00:15:25.310> into,<00:15:25.647> but<00:15:25.983> All<00:15:26.320> right,

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we'll<00:15:26.800> go<00:15:26.959> into<00:15:27.120> them<00:15:27.279> for<00:15:27.440> a<00:15:27.600> second.<00:15:28.000> Um,<00:15:28.800> [laughter]<00:15:30.160> no.

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Sometimes,<00:15:31.279> you<00:15:31.440> know,<00:15:31.600> in<00:15:31.839> bed<00:15:32.160> during<00:15:32.480> sex,<00:15:33.040> I<00:15:33.279> like<00:15:33.440> for<00:15:33.600> my<00:15:33.760> mom<00:15:33.920> to<00:15:34.079> call<00:15:34.240> me<00:15:34.399> a<00:15:34.560> fat<00:15:34.880> [fuck]<00:15:36.005> [laughter]

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I<00:15:42.200> have<00:15:42.400> a<00:15:42.600> Jewish<00:15:42.800> friend<00:15:43.000> who<00:15:43.200> voted<00:15:43.400> for<00:15:43.600> Trump<00:15:43.800> and<00:15:44.000> I<00:15:44.200> asked<00:15:44.400> why<00:15:44.600> and<00:15:44.800> he<00:15:45.000> said,<00:15:45.200> "Cuz<00:15:45.400> Trump<00:15:45.600> cares<00:15:45.800> about<00:15:46.000> Israel."

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And<00:15:47.440> whenever<00:15:47.760> you're<00:15:47.839> in<00:15:48.000> politics,<00:15:48.639> it's<00:15:48.959> really<00:15:49.279> funny<00:15:49.519> to<00:15:49.839> imagine<00:15:50.240> Trump<00:15:51.199> caring<00:15:51.680> about<00:15:51.920> something.

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[laughter]<00:15:54.160> Like,<00:15:54.399> what<00:15:54.560> does<00:15:54.639> that<00:15:54.880> even<00:15:55.040> look<00:15:55.279> like?

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Trump's<00:15:56.880> just<00:15:57.040> like,<00:15:57.120> "There<00:15:57.360> only<00:15:57.600> three<00:15:57.839> things<00:15:58.000> that<00:15:58.160> matter<00:15:58.399> in<00:15:58.560> life.

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Money,<00:16:00.000> [fuck]<00:16:00.399> and<00:16:00.560> a<00:16:00.720> homeland<00:16:01.120> for<00:16:01.279> the<00:16:01.440> Jews.

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Those<00:16:06.480> are<00:16:06.560> the<00:16:06.800> three<00:16:07.040> things<00:16:07.199> I<00:16:07.519> equally<00:16:08.000> care<00:16:08.240> about.

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[laughter]<00:16:09.839> Yes,<00:16:10.000> I<00:16:10.160> ripped<00:16:10.399> off<00:16:10.560> everyone<00:16:10.800> I've<00:16:11.040> ever<00:16:11.199> met,<00:16:11.360> but<00:16:11.519> how<00:16:11.680> else<00:16:11.920> are<00:16:12.000> you<00:16:12.079> going<00:16:12.160> to<00:16:12.240> raise<00:16:12.399> money<00:16:12.560> to<00:16:12.720> plant<00:16:12.880> trees<00:16:13.040> in<00:16:13.199> Tel<00:16:13.360> Aviv?

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You<00:16:13.839> got<00:16:13.920> a<00:16:14.079> better<00:16:14.240> idea?<00:16:15.306> [laughter]<00:16:15.680> Do<00:16:15.920> you<00:16:16.079> have<00:16:16.160> a<00:16:16.320> better<00:16:16.560> idea?

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I<00:16:19.120> was<00:16:19.199> performing<00:16:19.680> in<00:16:20.000> uh<00:16:20.240> Germany<00:16:21.040> uh<00:16:21.279> not<00:16:21.519> too<00:16:21.680> long<00:16:21.839> ago<00:16:22.160> and<00:16:22.320> I<00:16:22.480> was<00:16:22.560> I<00:16:22.800> was<00:16:22.880> worried<00:16:23.120> about<00:16:23.279> performing<00:16:23.680> there<00:16:23.920> because<00:16:24.160> of<00:16:24.320> you<00:16:24.560> know<00:16:24.880> and<00:16:25.360> uh<00:16:25.786> [laughter]

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I<00:16:28.480> was<00:16:28.560> like<00:16:28.959> I<00:16:29.120> don't<00:16:29.199> know<00:16:29.440> how<00:16:29.519> am<00:16:29.680> I<00:16:29.759> going<00:16:29.839> to<00:16:29.920> feel<00:16:30.160> even<00:16:30.320> having<00:16:30.560> them<00:16:30.720> laugh<00:16:31.040> you<00:16:31.120> know<00:16:31.279> what's<00:16:31.440> that<00:16:31.600> going<00:16:31.680> to<00:16:31.759> feel<00:16:31.920> like<00:16:32.480> I<00:16:32.639> don't<00:16:32.720> know<00:16:32.800> what<00:16:32.959> this<00:16:33.199> says<00:16:33.360> about

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me<00:16:33.759> I<00:16:34.000> got<00:16:34.160> my<00:16:34.320> first<00:16:34.480> laugh<00:16:34.720> and<00:16:34.880> I<00:16:34.959> was<00:16:35.040> like<00:16:35.199> it's<00:16:35.360> water<00:16:35.600> under<00:16:35.839> the<00:16:36.000> bridge<00:16:36.399> honestly<00:16:36.800> it's<00:16:37.040> fine<00:16:38.320> it's<00:16:38.560> fine<00:16:39.600> who<00:16:39.759> even<00:16:40.000> remember<00:16:40.320> who<00:16:40.480> started<00:16:40.800> the<00:16:40.959> Holocaust<00:16:41.680> was

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so<00:16:42.000> long<00:16:42.160> ago<00:16:43.759> they<00:16:44.079> were<00:16:44.240> the<00:16:44.480> best<00:16:44.639> crowds<00:16:45.040> they<00:16:45.279> were<00:16:45.440> amazing<00:16:46.240> cuz<00:16:46.399> I'm<00:16:46.639> Jewish<00:16:46.959> so<00:16:47.120> they<00:16:47.279> just<00:16:47.440> laughed<00:16:47.759> at<00:16:48.000> everything<00:16:48.320> I<00:16:48.560> said<00:16:49.199> cuz<00:16:49.519> they<00:16:49.680> felt<00:16:50.000> really

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really<00:16:50.720> guilty.<00:16:51.199> It<00:16:51.440> was<00:16:51.600> awesome.<00:16:53.199> I<00:16:53.360> said<00:16:53.600> I'm<00:16:53.839> Jewish.

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I<00:16:54.480> got<00:16:54.560> a<00:16:54.800> standing<00:16:55.360> ovation.

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[laughter]<00:16:58.639> It<00:16:58.880> was<00:16:59.040> incredible.<00:16:59.600> And<00:16:59.759> anytime<00:17:00.160> a<00:17:00.320> joke<00:17:00.560> bombed,<00:17:00.800> I'd<00:17:00.959> be<00:17:01.040> like,<00:17:01.120> "Auschwitz."

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[laughter]

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You<00:17:08.959> got<00:17:09.039> to<00:17:09.199> hand<00:17:09.280> it<00:17:09.439> to<00:17:09.600> Germany.<00:17:09.919> They've<00:17:10.079> gotten<00:17:10.319> their<00:17:10.480> [shit]<00:17:10.640> together."

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They<00:17:11.280> have.<00:17:11.600> You<00:17:11.760> know,<00:17:11.839> I<00:17:12.000> was<00:17:12.079> there.<00:17:12.240> I<00:17:12.400> didn't<00:17:12.480> see<00:17:12.640> them<00:17:12.799> kill<00:17:12.959> one<00:17:13.120> [fucking]<00:17:13.360> Jew.

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They've<00:17:13.839> gotten<00:17:14.079> their<00:17:14.240> [shit]<00:17:14.480> together.<00:17:15.566> [laughter]<00:17:17.439> They've<00:17:17.679> like<00:17:17.839> pulled<00:17:18.079> a<00:17:18.480> 180,<00:17:18.880> you<00:17:18.959> know,<00:17:19.199> or<00:17:19.760> not<00:17:19.919> a<00:17:20.319> 180,<00:17:20.799> but<00:17:21.120> you<00:17:21.280> know,<00:17:21.600> a<00:17:22.000> 180

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would<00:17:22.400> be<00:17:22.559> the<00:17:22.720> mass-producing<00:17:23.360> Jews.<00:17:23.760> That<00:17:23.919> would<00:17:24.079> be<00:17:24.160> a<00:17:24.480> 180.

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[laughter]

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I<00:17:28.160> mean,<00:17:28.319> tech,<00:17:28.640> that's<00:17:28.799> just<00:17:28.960> a<00:17:29.120> mathematical<00:17:29.760> fact.

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[laughter]<00:17:31.280> A<00:17:31.679> 180<00:17:32.000> would<00:17:32.160> be<00:17:32.320> like<00:17:32.480> a<00:17:32.720> factory<00:17:33.200> producing<00:17:33.600> like<00:17:33.919> 16,000<00:17:34.559> Jews<00:17:34.880> a<00:17:35.120> day<00:17:36.880> for<00:17:37.200> like<00:17:37.360> a<00:17:37.520> whole<00:17:37.760> year.

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[laughter]<00:17:39.600> And<00:17:39.760> then<00:17:39.919> at<00:17:40.080> the<00:17:40.160> end<00:17:40.240> of<00:17:40.320> that,<00:17:40.480> you're<00:17:40.640> like,<00:17:40.720> "All<00:17:40.799> right,<00:17:40.960> you're<00:17:41.120> back<00:17:41.280> to<00:17:41.440> square<00:17:41.679> one."

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You<00:17:42.000> pulled<00:17:42.240> a<00:17:42.559> 180.<00:17:45.042> [laughter]<00:17:46.160> But<00:17:46.320> they<00:17:46.480> they<00:17:46.559> they<00:17:47.120> have<00:17:47.280> gotten<00:17:47.600> their<00:17:47.760> [expletive]<00:17:48.000> together.

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You<00:17:48.400> got<00:17:48.480> to<00:17:48.559> hand<00:17:48.720> it<00:17:48.799> to<00:17:48.960> them.<00:17:49.120> Like<00:17:49.360> if<00:17:49.760> if<00:17:50.000> you<00:17:50.080> even<00:17:50.320> draw<00:17:50.480> a<00:17:50.559> swastika<00:17:51.039> now<00:17:51.200> in<00:17:51.360> Germany,<00:17:51.679> they'll<00:17:51.919> throw<00:17:52.080> your<00:17:52.160> ass<00:17:52.320> in<00:17:52.559> jail.

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They<00:17:53.200> used<00:17:53.360> to<00:17:53.520> [expletive]<00:17:53.679> love<00:17:53.919> swastikas.<00:17:55.919> And<00:17:56.080> now<00:17:56.240> you<00:17:56.480> even<00:17:56.720> try<00:17:56.880> to<00:17:57.039> draw<00:17:57.280> one,<00:17:57.600> they'll<00:17:57.760> throw<00:17:57.919> your<00:17:58.080> ass<00:17:58.240> in<00:17:58.400> jail<00:17:58.640> without<00:17:58.880> even<00:17:59.120> hesitating.

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I<00:18:00.080> [expletive]<00:18:00.400> love<00:18:00.640> that.<00:18:01.520> It's<00:18:01.679> like<00:18:01.919> even<00:18:02.080> though<00:18:02.240> they're<00:18:02.480> no<00:18:02.640> longer<00:18:03.039> Nazis,<00:18:03.919> they're<00:18:04.160> still<00:18:04.400> like<00:18:04.559> kind<00:18:04.799> of<00:18:04.960> being<00:18:05.200> Nazis<00:18:05.600> about<00:18:05.919> it.

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[laughter]<00:18:10.559> It's<00:18:10.799> like<00:18:10.960> they<00:18:11.200> still<00:18:11.360> don't<00:18:11.520> get<00:18:11.679> it.

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It's<00:18:12.080> kind<00:18:12.240> of<00:18:12.320> adorable,<00:18:12.880> really.<00:18:14.000> It's<00:18:14.240> just<00:18:14.400> like<00:18:14.559> within<00:18:14.880> them,<00:18:15.200> you<00:18:15.280> know?

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They're<00:18:15.520> like,<00:18:15.600> "We're<00:18:15.840> no<00:18:16.000> longer<00:18:16.240> Nazis."<00:18:16.640> In<00:18:16.720> fact,<00:18:17.039> who<00:18:17.360> draws<00:18:17.600> us<00:18:17.840> wants<00:18:18.000> to<00:18:18.160> go<00:18:18.400> under<00:18:18.799> the<00:18:18.960> trade<00:18:19.440> right<00:18:19.760> now.

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Get<00:18:21.360> under<00:18:21.600> the<00:18:21.840> trades,<00:18:22.240> you<00:18:22.480> Nazi<00:18:23.039> bastards.

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Snail<00:18:26.000> Nazis.

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That<00:18:29.120> was<00:18:29.280> That<00:18:29.520> was<00:18:29.600> close.<00:18:29.840> I<00:18:30.000> almost<00:18:30.160> did<00:18:30.240> a<00:18:30.320> Roman<00:18:30.640> salute.

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I<00:18:31.120> got<00:18:31.200> to<00:18:31.280> be<00:18:31.440> careful.<00:18:32.202> [laughter]

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Remember<00:18:35.360> when<00:18:35.760> Elon<00:18:36.080> Musk<00:18:36.400> did<00:18:36.559> that?<00:18:37.039> Remember<00:18:37.280> he<00:18:37.440> tried<00:18:37.600> to<00:18:37.760> pander<00:18:38.080> to<00:18:38.240> his<00:18:38.480> ancient<00:18:38.799> Roman<00:18:39.200> Empire<00:18:39.600> base<00:18:40.000> and<00:18:40.400> uh

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you<00:18:43.360> gotta<00:18:43.679> get<00:18:43.760> that<00:18:44.000> [expletive]<00:18:44.320> ancient<00:18:44.559> Roman<00:18:44.880> Empire<00:18:45.280> base<00:18:45.520> on<00:18:45.679> your<00:18:45.919> side,<00:18:46.240> you<00:18:46.320> know?

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[laughter]<00:18:47.440> And<00:18:47.679> when<00:18:47.840> he<00:18:48.000> got<00:18:48.240> called<00:18:48.480> out<00:18:48.640> on<00:18:48.880> it,<00:18:49.280> uh<00:18:49.440> the<00:18:49.600> salutes,<00:18:50.160> he<00:18:50.320> had<00:18:50.400> a<00:18:50.559> quote,<00:18:50.720> and<00:18:50.880> I<00:18:51.039> love<00:18:51.200> all<00:18:51.360> his<00:18:51.520> quotes<00:18:51.760> because<00:18:51.919> they're<00:18:52.160> always<00:18:52.400> amazing.

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He<00:18:53.039> had<00:18:53.120> a<00:18:53.280> quote<00:18:53.818> [laughter]<00:18:54.320> where<00:18:54.559> he<00:18:54.799> said,<00:18:55.440> "This<00:18:55.760> is<00:18:55.840> just<00:18:56.000> a<00:18:56.160> dirty<00:18:56.480> trick<00:18:56.799> by<00:18:57.120> the<00:18:57.280> media<00:18:58.080> to<00:18:58.320> bring<00:18:58.559> me<00:18:58.799> down."

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[clears<00:18:59.541> throat]<00:19:00.023> And<00:19:00.506> once<00:19:00.989> again,<00:19:01.471> whatever<00:19:01.954> your<00:19:02.436> politics,<00:19:02.919> it<00:19:03.402> is<00:19:03.884> extremely<00:19:04.367> funny<00:19:04.850> to<00:19:05.332> imagine<00:19:05.815> that<00:19:06.297> as<00:19:06.780> a<00:19:07.263> dirty<00:19:07.745> trick<00:19:08.228> [laughter]

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by<00:19:08.880> the<00:19:09.120> media.<00:19:10.720> Like<00:19:10.960> they're<00:19:11.120> all<00:19:11.280> just<00:19:11.440> gathered<00:19:11.840> one<00:19:12.080> night,<00:19:12.320> the<00:19:12.559> media,<00:19:13.360> and<00:19:13.600> one<00:19:13.760> of<00:19:13.840> them's<00:19:14.160> like,<00:19:14.240> "I<00:19:14.559> got<00:19:14.720> a<00:19:14.880> real<00:19:15.039> dirty<00:19:15.440> trick."

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[laughter]

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And<00:19:21.778> they're<00:19:22.117> like,<00:19:22.455> "What<00:19:22.794> is<00:19:23.132> it?"<00:19:23.471> [laughter]<00:19:23.809> He's<00:19:24.148> like,<00:19:24.486> "Are<00:19:24.825> you<00:19:25.163> ready<00:19:25.502> for<00:19:25.840> this?

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It's<00:19:26.320> dirty."

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The<00:19:29.679> next<00:19:29.919> time<00:19:31.120> Elon<00:19:31.520> Musk<00:19:32.480> does<00:19:32.720> a<00:19:32.880> Heil<00:19:33.200> Hitler<00:19:33.520> salute<00:19:33.919> back<00:19:34.160> to<00:19:34.320> back<00:19:35.738> [laughter]<00:19:36.320> on<00:19:36.640> national<00:19:37.200> television,<00:19:39.200> we're

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going<00:19:39.520> to<00:19:39.679> be<00:19:39.760> like,<00:19:39.919> "What<00:19:40.240> the<00:19:40.480> fuck?"<00:19:42.288> [laughter]

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That's<00:19:47.840> a<00:19:48.000> dirty<00:19:48.320> trick,<00:19:48.640> right?<00:19:48.960> That's<00:19:49.120> dirty.

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It's<00:19:50.559> a<00:19:50.799> dirty<00:19:51.200> trick.<00:19:52.113> [laughter]

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Anyway,<00:19:57.200> just<00:19:57.360> got<00:19:57.520> to<00:19:57.600> wait<00:19:57.679> for<00:19:57.840> him<00:19:58.000> to<00:19:58.080> do<00:19:58.160> that.<00:19:58.320> Heil<00:19:58.559> Hitler<00:19:58.880> salute<00:19:59.200> back<00:19:59.360> to<00:19:59.520> back<00:20:00.000> and<00:20:00.240> then<00:20:00.400> the<00:20:00.640> plan<00:20:00.880> is<00:20:01.200> activated.

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[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:20:08.799> You<00:20:08.960> know,<00:20:09.120> there<00:20:09.280> is<00:20:09.440> like,<00:20:09.600> you<00:20:09.760> know,<00:20:09.919> there's<00:20:10.080> a<00:20:10.240> lot<00:20:10.320> of<00:20:10.400> anti-semitism<00:20:11.280> out<00:20:11.520> there,<00:20:11.760> you<00:20:11.919> know,<00:20:12.000> but<00:20:12.240> it's<00:20:12.480> interesting<00:20:12.799> because<00:20:12.960> it's<00:20:13.200> hard<00:20:13.280> to<00:20:13.440> be

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an<00:20:13.760> anti-semite<00:20:14.400> in<00:20:14.480> a<00:20:14.559> way<00:20:14.720> because<00:20:14.880> Judaism<00:20:15.360> is<00:20:15.600> a<00:20:15.679> big<00:20:15.840> part<00:20:15.919> of<00:20:16.080> all<00:20:16.240> our<00:20:16.400> culture<00:20:16.799> whether<00:20:17.039> we<00:20:17.280> realize<00:20:17.520> it<00:20:17.679> or<00:20:17.760> not.

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So,<00:20:18.174> it's<00:20:18.349> hard<00:20:18.523> to<00:20:18.698> be<00:20:18.872> at<00:20:19.047> least<00:20:19.221> consistent<00:20:19.396> if<00:20:19.570> you're<00:20:19.745> an<00:20:19.919> anti-semite.

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Like,<00:20:21.053> I<00:20:21.227> don't<00:20:21.400> know<00:20:21.573> if<00:20:21.747> you<00:20:21.920> know<00:20:22.093> this,<00:20:22.267> but<00:20:22.440> Jews,<00:20:22.613> we<00:20:22.787> created<00:20:22.960> circumcision.

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Did<00:20:23.840> you<00:20:23.919> know<00:20:24.080> that?<00:20:24.640> That's<00:20:24.960> us.<00:20:25.679> That's<00:20:26.000> in<00:20:26.160> the<00:20:26.320> Bible.

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In<00:20:27.760> the<00:20:27.840> Bible,<00:20:28.159> God<00:20:28.400> said<00:20:28.559> to<00:20:28.720> the<00:20:28.799> Jews,<00:20:29.039> "I<00:20:29.280> want<00:20:29.440> you<00:20:29.520> to<00:20:29.600> cut<00:20:29.840> off<00:20:30.000> all<00:20:30.159> the<00:20:30.320> tips<00:20:30.640> of<00:20:30.799> your<00:20:30.960> dicks."

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[laughter]<00:20:33.600> And<00:20:33.760> the<00:20:33.919> Jews<00:20:34.240> were<00:20:34.480> like,<00:20:34.960> "Sure,<00:20:35.600> but<00:20:37.280> could<00:20:37.440> you<00:20:37.600> have<00:20:37.760> just<00:20:37.919> created<00:20:38.240> us<00:20:39.929> [laughter]<00:20:41.760> without

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the<00:20:42.320> tips?

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You<00:20:45.440> gave<00:20:45.760> us<00:20:46.000> the<00:20:46.240> tips.<00:20:47.134> [laughter]<00:20:48.080> This<00:20:48.400> was<00:20:48.640> your<00:20:49.120> idea.

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You<00:20:50.746> were<00:20:50.933> like,<00:20:51.119> I'm<00:20:51.306> going<00:20:51.493> to<00:20:51.680> give<00:20:51.866> them<00:20:52.053> tips."<00:20:52.240> Okay.

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Now<00:20:53.520> you're<00:20:53.760> giving<00:20:54.000> them<00:20:54.159> to<00:20:54.400> us<00:20:54.640> and<00:20:54.880> now<00:20:55.039> you're<00:20:55.200> asking<00:20:55.520> us<00:20:55.760> to<00:20:55.919> cut<00:20:56.159> them<00:20:56.320> off.

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How<00:20:57.360> about<00:20:57.520> you<00:20:57.760> just<00:20:57.919> don't<00:20:58.159> give<00:20:58.320> us<00:20:58.480> the<00:20:58.640> tips?<00:20:59.039> This<00:20:59.200> is<00:20:59.919> the<00:21:00.320> most<00:21:00.559> roundabout<00:21:01.200> way<00:21:01.440> to<00:21:01.760> have<00:21:01.919> us<00:21:02.159> remove<00:21:02.559> our<00:21:02.799> tips.

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[laughter]<00:21:04.640> I<00:21:04.880> don't<00:21:05.039> get.<00:21:05.360> Did<00:21:05.520> you<00:21:05.679> forget?

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Did<00:21:06.159> you<00:21:06.320> were<00:21:06.480> like,<00:21:06.559> "Oh,<00:21:06.799> we<00:21:06.960> didn't<00:21:07.039> give<00:21:07.200> them<00:21:07.360> tips.<00:21:07.760> Oh,<00:21:08.080> we<00:21:08.240> gave<00:21:08.400> them<00:21:08.559> tips.

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[expletive]<00:21:09.404> [laughter]<00:21:09.919> I'm<00:21:10.080> going<00:21:10.159> to<00:21:10.320> have<00:21:10.400> to<00:21:10.640> have<00:21:10.720> a<00:21:10.880> really<00:21:11.039> awkward<00:21:11.360> conversation<00:21:11.840> with<00:21:12.000> them<00:21:12.240> now."

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I<00:21:13.280> I<00:21:13.600> just<00:21:13.760> don't<00:21:13.919> get<00:21:14.080> it.<00:21:14.320> You<00:21:14.480> know<00:21:15.520> why?

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Why?<00:21:16.240> Like,<00:21:16.400> did<00:21:16.559> you<00:21:16.640> think<00:21:16.799> it<00:21:16.960> would<00:21:17.039> look<00:21:17.200> good<00:21:17.280> and<00:21:17.440> then<00:21:17.520> you<00:21:17.679> saw<00:21:17.840> it<00:21:17.919> and<00:21:18.000> you're<00:21:18.159> like,<00:21:18.240> "That<00:21:18.400> ain't<00:21:18.640> right."

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I'll<00:21:19.039> tell<00:21:19.200> you<00:21:19.280> that<00:21:19.520> much.<00:21:20.539> [laughter]<00:21:21.919> I've<00:21:22.159> never<00:21:22.320> seen<00:21:22.480> a<00:21:22.640> dick,<00:21:22.799> but<00:21:22.960> that<00:21:23.120> ain't<00:21:23.280> it.

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That<00:21:23.679> is<00:21:23.840> not<00:21:25.200> It<00:21:25.520> is<00:21:25.760> missing<00:21:26.159> something.

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You<00:21:26.799> know,<00:21:27.744> [laughter]<00:21:28.640> I'm<00:21:28.960> paraphrasing.

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That's<00:21:29.840> pretty<00:21:30.000> much<00:21:30.159> what<00:21:30.400> it<00:21:30.559> said.<00:21:30.880> And<00:21:31.520> and<00:21:31.840> now<00:21:32.080> most<00:21:32.400> people<00:21:32.640> are<00:21:32.880> circumcised<00:21:33.360> whether<00:21:33.679> they're<00:21:33.760> [expletive]<00:21:34.000> Jewish<00:21:34.240> or<00:21:34.320> not.

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Sir,<00:21:34.799> are<00:21:35.039> you<00:21:35.279> Jewish?<00:21:35.520> Yes.<00:21:35.760> [expletive]<00:21:36.000> All<00:21:36.240> right.

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Anyway,<00:21:37.569> [laughter]<00:21:38.559> specifically<00:21:39.120> said<00:21:39.360> no<00:21:39.520> Jews<00:21:39.840> in<00:21:40.000> the<00:21:40.159> [expletive]<00:21:40.400> front<00:21:40.799> row.

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I<00:21:42.880> was<00:21:43.039> very<00:21:43.280> [expletive]<00:21:43.600> specific<00:21:44.000> about<00:21:44.240> that.

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No<00:21:44.880> one<00:21:45.120> [expletive]<00:21:45.440> anyone<00:21:45.760> looks<00:21:45.919> Jewy,<00:21:46.320> do<00:21:46.480> not<00:21:46.640> put<00:21:46.799> them<00:21:46.960> in<00:21:47.120> the<00:21:47.280> front<00:21:47.520> [expletive]<00:21:48.080> row.

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[laughter]<00:21:49.679> It's<00:21:49.840> [expletive]<00:21:50.159> up<00:21:50.240> my<00:21:50.480> crowd<00:21:50.720> work<00:21:50.880> bit.

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You're<00:21:51.360> also<00:21:51.679> Jewish.<00:21:52.240> I<00:21:52.400> like<00:21:52.559> how<00:21:52.720> you're<00:21:52.880> just<00:21:53.039> giving<00:21:53.280> up.

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I'm<00:21:53.600> Jewy,<00:21:53.919> too.<00:21:54.080> Don't<00:21:54.240> even<00:21:54.480> [expletive]<00:21:55.255> [laughter]<00:21:55.600> Don't<00:21:55.840> even<00:21:56.080> [expletive]<00:21:56.400> try<00:21:56.640> me.

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I<00:21:58.000> wasn't.<00:21:58.240> I<00:21:58.400> saw<00:21:58.559> your<00:21:58.799> look.<00:21:59.039> It's<00:21:59.280> [expletive]<00:21:59.840> [laughter]<00:22:02.080> I<00:22:02.320> betic<00:22:03.039> Jews<00:22:03.280> don't<00:22:03.440> even<00:22:03.679> ask<00:22:03.919> you<00:22:04.080> if<00:22:04.159> you're<00:22:04.320> Jewish.

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They<00:22:04.880> just<00:22:05.120> they<00:22:05.360> just<00:22:05.520> put<00:22:05.679> the<00:22:05.840> [expletive]<00:22:06.080> on<00:22:06.240> you<00:22:06.480> right<00:22:06.640> on<00:22:06.880> the<00:22:07.039> street.

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[laughter]<00:22:08.051> Yeah.<00:22:08.403> Let<00:22:08.754> me<00:22:09.105> put<00:22:09.456> this<00:22:09.808> tefillin<00:22:10.159> on.

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I'm<00:22:11.039> not<00:22:11.200> Jewish.<00:22:11.520> I<00:22:11.760> don't<00:22:11.840> [expletive]<00:22:12.159> believe<00:22:12.320> you.

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And<00:22:12.640> you<00:22:12.799> know<00:22:12.880> that's<00:22:13.595> [laughter]

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all<00:22:17.600> right.<00:22:17.919> Um<00:22:18.320> you<00:22:18.640> look<00:22:18.799> very<00:22:19.120> scared<00:22:19.440> and<00:22:19.760> Asian.

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So<00:22:20.320> I'm<00:22:20.480> going<00:22:20.559> to<00:22:20.640> ask<00:22:20.799> you.<00:22:22.110> [laughter]<00:22:23.600> You're<00:22:23.760> not<00:22:23.919> seeing<00:22:24.080> this<00:22:24.240> look,<00:22:24.480> but<00:22:24.559> he's<00:22:24.720> like,<00:22:26.080> "Don't<00:22:26.480> ask<00:22:26.720> me."

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You<00:22:27.039> better.<00:22:27.520> You're<00:22:27.679> not<00:22:27.840> Jewish,<00:22:28.240> are<00:22:28.480> you?

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All<00:22:29.897> right.<00:22:30.434> [expletive]<00:22:30.971> That's<00:22:31.509> right.<00:22:32.046> Are<00:22:32.583> you<00:22:33.120> circumcised?

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Yeah.<00:22:34.960> Yeah.<00:22:36.240> Cultural<00:22:36.720> appropriation.

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That's<00:22:37.600> [expletive]<00:22:37.919> up.

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Would<00:22:41.520> have<00:22:41.600> gotten<00:22:41.919> there<00:22:42.000> a<00:22:42.159> lot<00:22:42.240> quicker<00:22:42.480> without<00:22:42.799> your<00:22:42.960> [expletive]<00:22:43.360> Jewish<00:22:43.760> ass<00:22:44.080> [expletive]<00:22:44.400> up<00:22:44.559> my<00:22:44.880> joke.

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[expletive]<00:22:47.360> hate<00:22:47.600> Jews,<00:22:48.080> you<00:22:48.240> know.<00:22:48.965> [laughter]<00:22:49.919> I<00:22:50.159> get<00:22:50.400> anti-semitism<00:22:51.360> because<00:22:51.520> it<00:22:51.679> really<00:22:51.840> does<00:22:52.000> feel<00:22:52.159> good<00:22:52.240> to<00:22:52.480> be<00:22:52.559> like<00:22:52.799> [expletive]<00:22:53.280> Jews.

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[laughter]<00:22:53.679> Like<00:22:53.840> it<00:22:54.000> just<00:22:54.159> feels<00:22:55.600> feels<00:22:55.919> good<00:22:56.159> just<00:22:56.320> be<00:22:56.480> like<00:22:56.799> [expletive]<00:22:57.360> Jews.

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I'll<00:23:00.640> never<00:23:00.799> get<00:23:00.960> that<00:23:01.120> feeling<00:23:01.360> of<00:23:01.520> just<00:23:01.679> being<00:23:01.840> like<00:23:02.080> the<00:23:02.240> [expletive]<00:23:02.720> Jews.

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So<00:23:05.280> most<00:23:05.600> people<00:23:05.840> are<00:23:06.320> circumcised<00:23:07.440> um<00:23:08.480> whether<00:23:08.799> they're<00:23:09.039> whether<00:23:09.280> they're<00:23:09.440> Jewish<00:23:09.679> or<00:23:09.840> not,<00:23:10.000> which<00:23:10.159> is<00:23:10.320> interesting<00:23:10.559> to<00:23:10.720> me<00:23:10.880> because<00:23:11.120> that<00:23:11.280> means<00:23:11.600> most<00:23:11.840> anti-semites

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in<00:23:12.799> America<00:23:13.200> are<00:23:13.440> circumcised.<00:23:13.856> [laughter]<00:23:15.120> A<00:23:15.360> Jewish<00:23:15.679> custom.

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That's<00:23:17.039> got<00:23:17.120> to<00:23:17.280> be<00:23:17.360> a<00:23:17.520> real<00:23:17.679> conflict<00:23:18.240> interest.<00:23:20.000> I<00:23:20.240> almost<00:23:20.480> feel<00:23:20.640> bad<00:23:20.799> for<00:23:20.960> them.

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That's<00:23:21.360> got<00:23:21.440> to<00:23:21.600> suck<00:23:22.640> to<00:23:22.880> be<00:23:23.120> anti-Semitic<00:23:24.080> in<00:23:24.320> your<00:23:24.640> heart,<00:23:25.440> but<00:23:25.760> know<00:23:26.080> your<00:23:26.320> dick<00:23:26.640> is<00:23:26.880> Jewish.

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[laughter]<00:23:30.159> That's<00:23:30.320> like<00:23:30.480> if<00:23:30.559> Tucker<00:23:30.880> Carlson<00:23:31.280> had<00:23:31.440> a<00:23:31.600> giant<00:23:31.919> afro<00:23:32.400> he<00:23:32.559> had<00:23:32.720> to<00:23:32.799> comb<00:23:33.200> down<00:23:33.520> every<00:23:33.840> day.

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[laughter]

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Sometimes<00:23:41.845> people<00:23:42.090> say<00:23:42.335> something's<00:23:42.580> like<00:23:42.825> anti-semitic<00:23:43.070> and<00:23:43.315> I'm<00:23:43.560> like,<00:23:43.805> I<00:23:44.050> don't<00:23:44.295> know<00:23:44.540> if<00:23:44.785> that's<00:23:45.030> anti-Semitic,<00:23:45.275> you<00:23:45.520> know?

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Like<00:23:46.080> I<00:23:46.159> don't<00:23:46.240> know<00:23:46.320> if<00:23:46.480> you<00:23:46.559> know<00:23:46.640> this,<00:23:46.799> but<00:23:47.039> a<00:23:47.280> lot<00:23:47.360> of<00:23:47.520> people<00:23:48.000> or<00:23:48.159> I<00:23:48.320> don't<00:23:48.480> know<00:23:48.559> if<00:23:48.640> a<00:23:48.720> lot,<00:23:48.880> but<00:23:49.039> a<00:23:49.200> decent<00:23:49.440> amount<00:23:49.600> of<00:23:49.679> people<00:23:49.919> think<00:23:50.080> that<00:23:50.640> Harry<00:23:50.960> Potter<00:23:51.280> is<00:23:51.520> anti-Semitic.

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Did<00:23:52.960> you<00:23:53.039> know<00:23:53.120> this?<00:23:53.360> Because<00:23:53.520> of<00:23:53.600> the<00:23:53.760> goblins<00:23:54.159> in<00:23:54.320> the<00:23:54.400> bank.

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They're<00:23:55.013> like,<00:23:55.387> "That's<00:23:55.760> an<00:23:56.133> offensive<00:23:56.507> Jewish<00:23:56.880> stereotype."<00:23:57.253> Here's<00:23:57.627> my<00:23:58.000> thing.

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Isn't<00:24:00.080> it<00:24:00.320> anti-Semitic<00:24:02.240> to<00:24:02.559> think<00:24:02.799> that's<00:24:03.120> anti-Semitic?

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[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:24:10.880> Isn't<00:24:11.279> that<00:24:11.600> the<00:24:11.840> anti-Semitic<00:24:12.720> part<00:24:13.760> to<00:24:14.000> just<00:24:14.240> be<00:24:14.480> like,<00:24:14.640> "Well,<00:24:15.039> clearly<00:24:15.426> [laughter]

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Clearly<00:24:20.720> those<00:24:21.120> goblins<00:24:21.679> are<00:24:21.919> Jews.

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What<00:24:22.720> else?<00:24:24.720> What<00:24:24.960> else<00:24:25.200> could<00:24:25.440> they<00:24:25.760> be?

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They're<00:24:27.200> goblins<00:24:27.840> who<00:24:28.159> work<00:24:28.480> at<00:24:28.720> a<00:24:28.960> bank.

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They're<00:24:31.520> big-nosed<00:24:31.801> [screaming]<00:24:32.480> ugly<00:24:32.880> goblins<00:24:34.000> who<00:24:34.320> work<00:24:34.640> with<00:24:35.200> money.

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It<00:24:37.600> couldn't<00:24:38.000> be<00:24:38.240> more<00:24:38.640> obvious.<00:24:40.720> And<00:24:40.880> don't<00:24:41.120> get<00:24:41.200> me<00:24:41.360> started<00:24:41.600> on<00:24:41.760> these<00:24:42.000> [expletive]<00:24:42.240> Oompa<00:24:42.640> Loompas.

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Bunch<00:24:44.159> of<00:24:44.320> short<00:24:44.480> dudes<00:24:44.799> singing<00:24:45.039> and<00:24:45.200> dancing.<00:24:45.520> That's<00:24:45.679> an<00:24:45.840> offensive<00:24:46.240> Puerto<00:24:46.480> Rican<00:24:46.799> stereotype.

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[laughter]

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I<00:24:52.880> grew<00:24:53.039> up<00:24:53.120> in<00:24:53.360> uh<00:24:53.440> I<00:24:53.600> grew<00:24:53.679> up<00:24:53.840> in<00:24:54.000> Kentucky.<00:24:54.960> I<00:24:55.200> grew<00:24:55.360> up<00:24:55.679> uh<00:24:55.760> poor,<00:24:56.559> Jewish<00:24:56.960> poor,<00:24:57.200> which<00:24:57.360> is<00:24:57.520> upper<00:24:57.760> middle<00:24:58.000> class<00:24:58.400> for<00:24:58.640> anyone<00:24:59.039> else.

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And<00:25:04.000> I<00:25:04.159> only<00:25:04.320> had<00:25:04.480> one<00:25:04.640> anti-Semitic<00:25:05.279> experience<00:25:05.679> which<00:25:05.840> I'll<00:25:06.000> tell<00:25:06.159> you<00:25:06.240> about.

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I<00:25:06.799> was<00:25:06.880> 15.<00:25:07.200> I<00:25:07.360> was<00:25:07.440> walking<00:25:07.600> with<00:25:07.760> my<00:25:07.919> friend.<00:25:08.080> He<00:25:08.240> was<00:25:08.320> also<00:25:08.559> Jewish.

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She<00:25:09.059> had<00:25:09.319> a<00:25:09.579> yarmulke<00:25:09.839> on.<00:25:10.099> And<00:25:10.359> a<00:25:10.619> car<00:25:10.879> drove<00:25:11.139> by<00:25:11.399> and<00:25:11.659> a<00:25:11.919> woman<00:25:12.179> rolled<00:25:12.439> down<00:25:12.699> the<00:25:12.959> window<00:25:13.219> and<00:25:13.479> she<00:25:13.739> said,<00:25:13.999> "Hey<00:25:14.259> Jews,<00:25:14.519> here's<00:25:14.779> a<00:25:15.039> quarter."

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And<00:25:16.080> she<00:25:16.240> threw<00:25:16.400> a<00:25:16.559> quarter<00:25:16.880> out<00:25:16.960> the<00:25:17.200> window<00:25:18.080> which<00:25:18.320> was<00:25:18.480> [expletive]<00:25:18.799> up<00:25:19.600> cuz<00:25:19.840> I<00:25:20.000> had<00:25:20.159> to<00:25:20.320> pick<00:25:20.480> it<00:25:20.640> up.

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[snorts]<00:25:21.582> [laughter]

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And<00:25:24.400> that's<00:25:24.559> not<00:25:24.640> a<00:25:24.799> Jewish<00:25:25.120> thing.<00:25:25.360> That's<00:25:25.440> a<00:25:25.600> human<00:25:25.840> being<00:25:26.080> thing.

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All<00:25:27.279> of<00:25:27.440> you<00:25:27.520> would<00:25:27.679> have<00:25:27.760> picked<00:25:27.919> up<00:25:28.080> that<00:25:28.240> quarter.<00:25:29.120> That<00:25:29.279> is<00:25:29.360> not<00:25:29.520> a<00:25:29.600> Jewish<00:25:29.840> thing.

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That's<00:25:30.240> a<00:25:30.400> human<00:25:30.640> being<00:25:30.799> thing.<00:25:31.120> Everyone<00:25:31.440> picks<00:25:31.679> up<00:25:31.840> a<00:25:32.000> quarter.

00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:34.720
Elon<00:25:32.720> Musk<00:25:32.960> picks<00:25:33.200> up<00:25:33.279> a<00:25:33.440> [expletive]<00:25:33.679> quarter.<00:25:34.080> Okay?

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And<00:25:34.880> that's<00:25:35.039> the<00:25:35.200> problem<00:25:35.360> with<00:25:35.520> anti-semitism.<00:25:36.480> We<00:25:36.720> act<00:25:36.880> like<00:25:37.039> only<00:25:37.279> Jews<00:25:37.600> care<00:25:37.840> about<00:25:38.000> money.

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Everybody<00:25:38.960> cares<00:25:39.440> about<00:25:39.679> money.<00:25:40.960> It's<00:25:41.120> not<00:25:41.279> like<00:25:41.440> it's<00:25:41.600> just<00:25:41.760> Jews.

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Everyone<00:25:42.320> else<00:25:42.480> is<00:25:42.640> a<00:25:42.799> [expletive]<00:25:43.039> hippie.<00:25:45.360> Have<00:25:45.600> you<00:25:45.760> seen<00:25:46.080> the<00:25:46.320> world?

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Everyone<00:25:47.039> cares<00:25:47.360> about<00:25:47.600> money.<00:25:48.240> Everyone<00:25:48.640> would<00:25:48.799> have<00:25:48.960> picked<00:25:49.120> that<00:25:49.360> quarter<00:25:49.679> up.

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That's<00:25:50.159> not<00:25:50.320> a<00:25:50.559> Jewish<00:25:50.880> thing.<00:25:51.279> That's<00:25:51.440> a<00:25:51.679> human<00:25:51.919> being<00:25:52.240> thing.

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As<00:25:52.799> a<00:25:53.039> human<00:25:53.279> being,<00:25:53.679> not<00:25:53.919> as<00:25:54.080> a<00:25:54.240> Jew,<00:25:54.559> I<00:25:54.799> had<00:25:54.960> no<00:25:55.200> choice<00:25:55.440> but<00:25:55.679> to<00:25:55.919> bend<00:25:56.240> down<00:25:56.799> and<00:25:57.039> pick<00:25:57.279> it<00:25:57.440> up<00:25:57.760> and<00:25:58.000> put<00:25:58.159> in<00:25:58.320> a<00:25:58.400> high<00:25:58.640> yield<00:25:58.960> savings<00:25:59.360> account.

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that's<00:26:00.240> doing<00:26:02.000> very<00:26:02.400> well.

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[laughter]

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I<00:26:09.279> don't<00:26:09.360> know.<00:26:09.679> Humanity,<00:26:10.240> we're<00:26:10.480> not<00:26:10.640> great,<00:26:10.960> you<00:26:11.039> know.

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We're<00:26:11.440> full<00:26:11.679> of<00:26:11.840> prejudice<00:26:12.400> and<00:26:12.720> cruelty.<00:26:13.279> We're<00:26:13.520> not<00:26:13.679> great,<00:26:13.919> you<00:26:14.080> know.

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I<00:26:14.400> mean,<00:26:14.559> we<00:26:14.799> have<00:26:15.039> good<00:26:15.360> parts<00:26:15.679> and<00:26:16.000> bad<00:26:16.240> parts,<00:26:16.559> you<00:26:16.720> know.

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Here's<00:26:17.279> a<00:26:17.440> good<00:26:17.600> part<00:26:17.679> of<00:26:17.840> humanity.<00:26:18.640> Like,<00:26:18.880> my<00:26:19.120> girlfriend<00:26:19.440> at<00:26:19.600> home<00:26:19.840> has<00:26:20.080> a<00:26:20.240> shampoo<00:26:21.279> that<00:26:21.520> says<00:26:21.760> cruelty-free<00:26:22.320> on<00:26:22.480> it,<00:26:22.720> right?

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Which<00:26:24.240> is<00:26:24.400> great<00:26:24.480> for<00:26:24.640> her.<00:26:24.880> She's<00:26:25.039> a<00:26:25.200> hero.

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[laughter]<00:26:28.559> And<00:26:28.720> that's<00:26:28.960> great.<00:26:29.200> That's<00:26:29.440> great.

00:26:29.679 --> 00:26:35.679
That's<00:26:29.919> great.<00:26:30.080> That<00:26:30.240> that<00:26:30.400> that's<00:26:30.720> good<00:26:30.799> part<00:26:30.960> of<00:26:31.039> humanity.<00:26:31.440> It's<00:26:31.679> great<00:26:31.760> that<00:26:32.080> we're<00:26:32.400> making<00:26:32.640> humane<00:26:33.120> products<00:26:33.440> that<00:26:33.679> people<00:26:33.919> are<00:26:34.080> buying<00:26:34.799> and<00:26:34.960> trying<00:26:35.120> to<00:26:35.200> be<00:26:35.360> better.

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That's<00:26:35.840> the<00:26:36.000> good<00:26:36.159> part<00:26:36.320> of<00:26:36.480> humanity.<00:26:37.600> Here's<00:26:37.840> the<00:26:38.000> [expletive]<00:26:38.240> up<00:26:38.480> part<00:26:38.799> about<00:26:39.039> humanity.

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What<00:26:40.720> is<00:26:40.960> going<00:26:41.200> on<00:26:42.640> with<00:26:42.960> the<00:26:43.200> other<00:26:43.760> shampoos?

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[laughter]

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That<00:26:49.840> cruelty<00:26:50.400> is<00:26:50.720> just<00:26:50.880> an<00:26:51.200> ingredient<00:26:52.628> [laughter]<00:26:53.279> in<00:26:53.600> most<00:26:53.919> shampoos.

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Do<00:26:55.919> we<00:26:56.080> even<00:26:56.240> deserve<00:26:56.559> to<00:26:56.880> survive<00:26:57.279> as<00:26:57.440> a<00:26:57.679> species<00:26:58.559> if<00:26:58.799> we<00:26:58.960> can't<00:26:59.120> even<00:26:59.360> create<00:26:59.679> hair<00:26:59.919> products<00:27:00.320> without<00:27:00.720> committing<00:27:01.279> atrocities?

00:27:03.108 --> 00:27:07.279
[laughter]<00:27:03.760> Cruelty<00:27:04.240> should<00:27:04.400> not<00:27:04.559> be<00:27:04.720> an<00:27:04.880> ingredient<00:27:05.360> in<00:27:05.600> any<00:27:05.919> shampoo.

00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:12.933
And<00:27:07.520> you<00:27:07.760> certainly<00:27:08.080> shouldn't<00:27:08.400> have<00:27:08.559> to<00:27:08.720> pay<00:27:08.960> extra<00:27:09.760> to<00:27:10.080> not<00:27:10.400> have<00:27:10.559> it<00:27:10.720> in<00:27:10.960> there.

00:27:12.933 --> 00:27:18.173
[laughter]<00:27:14.320> At<00:27:14.400> least<00:27:14.640> the<00:27:14.880> cruelty<00:27:15.200> should<00:27:15.440> be<00:27:15.520> the<00:27:15.760> extra<00:27:16.000> charge<00:27:16.400> like<00:27:16.559> a<00:27:16.799> tax.

00:27:18.173 --> 00:27:22.400
[laughter]<00:27:18.516> Why<00:27:18.858> is<00:27:19.201> [<00:27:19.544> __<00:27:19.887> ]<00:27:20.229> cruelty<00:27:20.572> part<00:27:20.915> of<00:27:21.257> most<00:27:21.600> shampoos?

00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:25.679
I<00:27:22.552> mean,<00:27:22.703> obviously<00:27:22.855> it<00:27:23.006> has<00:27:23.158> to<00:27:23.309> do<00:27:23.461> with<00:27:23.612> lab<00:27:23.764> animals,<00:27:23.915> but<00:27:24.067> what<00:27:24.218> the<00:27:24.370> [<00:27:24.521> __<00:27:24.673> ]<00:27:24.824> is<00:27:24.976> going<00:27:25.127> on<00:27:25.279> there?

00:27:25.679 --> 00:27:34.320
It's<00:27:25.840> just<00:27:26.080> shampoo.<00:27:27.360> Just<00:27:27.600> some<00:27:27.840> like<00:27:28.080> scientist<00:27:28.480> talking<00:27:28.720> to<00:27:28.799> his<00:27:28.960> underling<00:27:29.440> like,<00:27:29.520> "Did<00:27:29.760> you<00:27:29.840> put<00:27:30.000> the<00:27:30.159> shampoo<00:27:31.360> on<00:27:31.600> the<00:27:31.760> rabbit's<00:27:32.159> head?"

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Like,<00:27:34.480> I<00:27:34.720> did.<00:27:35.859> [laughter]<00:27:37.120> Did<00:27:37.279> it<00:27:37.520> clean<00:27:38.960> the<00:27:39.200> rabbit's<00:27:39.679> head?

00:27:41.679 --> 00:27:44.720
It<00:27:42.000> did.<00:27:43.679> Okay,<00:27:44.080> great.

00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:47.649
Shoot<00:27:44.960> his<00:27:45.200> family<00:27:45.520> in<00:27:45.679> front<00:27:45.840> of<00:27:46.000> him<00:27:46.320> right<00:27:46.640> now.

00:27:47.649 --> 00:27:51.279
[laughter]<00:27:48.320> I<00:27:48.559> want<00:27:48.640> you<00:27:48.799> to<00:27:48.960> shoot<00:27:49.120> his<00:27:49.360> entire<00:27:49.760> family<00:27:50.080> in<00:27:50.320> front<00:27:50.480> of<00:27:50.559> him.

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And<00:27:51.440> then<00:27:51.520> I<00:27:51.679> want<00:27:51.760> you<00:27:51.919> to<00:27:52.000> electrocute<00:27:52.400> his<00:27:52.640> balls<00:27:52.960> for<00:27:53.120> the<00:27:53.279> next<00:27:53.440> hour<00:27:53.600> and<00:27:53.760> a<00:27:53.919> half.

00:27:54.854 --> 00:28:02.059
[laughter]<00:27:55.360> That's<00:27:55.600> how<00:27:55.679> we<00:27:55.919> create<00:27:56.080> the<00:27:56.240> silkiness<00:27:56.720> of<00:27:56.880> Herbal<00:27:57.279> Essence.

00:28:02.059 --> 00:28:07.200
[laughter]<00:28:04.000> I<00:28:04.240> went<00:28:04.399> to<00:28:04.559> Auschwitz<00:28:05.039> a<00:28:05.200> couple<00:28:05.360> months<00:28:05.440> ago<00:28:05.679> with<00:28:05.919> my<00:28:06.080> girlfriend<00:28:06.480> and<00:28:06.880> it's<00:28:07.039> true.

00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:15.120
I<00:28:07.448> was<00:28:07.696> thinking<00:28:07.945> about<00:28:08.193> proposing<00:28:08.441> to<00:28:08.689> her<00:28:08.938> there,<00:28:09.186> but<00:28:09.434> um<00:28:09.682> [laughter]<00:28:09.931> it<00:28:10.179> would<00:28:10.427> have<00:28:10.675> been<00:28:10.924> [<00:28:11.172> __<00:28:11.420> ]<00:28:11.668> out,<00:28:11.917> but<00:28:12.165> it<00:28:12.413> would<00:28:12.661> have<00:28:12.910> been<00:28:13.158> [<00:28:13.406> __<00:28:13.654> ]<00:28:13.903> hilarious,<00:28:14.151> you<00:28:14.399> know?

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Feel<00:28:15.279> like<00:28:15.440> the<00:28:15.600> lights<00:28:15.840> just<00:28:16.080> went<00:28:16.240> out.<00:28:17.779> [laughter]<00:28:18.240> Feel<00:28:20.320> like<00:28:20.480> we<00:28:20.640> should<00:28:20.799> really<00:28:21.279> uh<00:28:21.520> maybe<00:28:21.840> fix<00:28:22.000> that<00:28:22.320> before<00:28:22.559> I<00:28:22.880> continue.

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[laughter]

00:28:28.259 --> 00:28:31.534
[cheering]

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[applause]

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<00:28:34.832> Problem<00:28:35.024> is<00:28:35.216> I<00:28:35.408> shat<00:28:35.600> my<00:28:35.791> pants<00:28:35.983> right<00:28:36.175> when<00:28:36.367> that<00:28:36.559> happened.

00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:44.000
So<00:28:39.394> [laughter]<00:28:40.880> we<00:28:41.039> we<00:28:41.200> got<00:28:41.360> about<00:28:41.520> 50<00:28:41.760> minutes<00:28:41.919> left<00:28:42.240> and<00:28:42.399> then<00:28:42.559> I<00:28:42.720> can<00:28:43.440> change.

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Um,<00:28:45.289> [laughter]<00:28:46.720> so,<00:28:47.440> um,<00:28:47.679> yeah,<00:28:47.840> I<00:28:48.000> was<00:28:48.080> in<00:28:48.320> Auschwitz<00:28:49.120> with<00:28:49.279> my<00:28:49.520> girlfriend.

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At<00:28:50.080> one<00:28:50.240> point,<00:28:50.559> I<00:28:50.720> don't<00:28:50.799> have<00:28:50.880> a<00:28:51.039> joke<00:28:51.200> for<00:28:51.440> this,<00:28:51.679> but<00:28:52.080> this<00:28:52.399> happened.

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As<00:28:52.960> a<00:28:53.120> comedian,<00:28:53.520> I<00:28:53.760> can't<00:28:53.919> not<00:28:54.159> tell<00:28:54.320> you.

00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:57.520
I<00:28:54.720> have<00:28:54.799> like<00:28:54.960> an<00:28:55.120> obligation<00:28:55.520> to<00:28:55.760> tell<00:28:55.840> you.<00:28:56.640> We<00:28:56.799> were<00:28:56.880> on<00:28:57.039> the<00:28:57.200> tour.

00:28:57.520 --> 00:29:04.159
It<00:28:57.679> was<00:28:58.000> freezing.<00:28:58.480> It<00:28:58.559> was<00:28:58.640> like<00:28:58.799> 0<00:28:59.120> degrees<00:28:59.440> outside,<00:28:59.919> and<00:29:00.080> we're<00:29:00.320> walking<00:29:00.559> around<00:29:00.720> outside,<00:29:01.120> and<00:29:01.360> at<00:29:01.520> one<00:29:01.679> point,<00:29:01.840> the<00:29:02.080> tour<00:29:02.320> guide<00:29:02.559> goes,<00:29:03.279> "All<00:29:03.440> right,<00:29:03.760> next<00:29:03.919> we're

00:29:04.159 --> 00:29:07.039
going<00:29:04.439> to<00:29:04.719> go<00:29:05.000> inside<00:29:05.280> into<00:29:05.560> the<00:29:05.840> crematoriums."

00:29:07.039 --> 00:29:11.490
And<00:29:07.258> the<00:29:07.476> American<00:29:07.695> next<00:29:07.914> to<00:29:08.133> me<00:29:08.351> went,<00:29:08.570> "Thank<00:29:08.789> God<00:29:09.008> it's<00:29:09.226> [<00:29:09.445> __<00:29:09.664> ]<00:29:09.883> freezing<00:29:10.101> out<00:29:10.320> here."

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[laughter]

00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:23.200
<00:29:20.661> [laughter]

00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:25.245
<00:29:23.384> And<00:29:23.568> that<00:29:23.752> that<00:29:23.936> was<00:29:24.120> an<00:29:24.303> important<00:29:24.487> moment<00:29:24.671> in<00:29:24.855> my<00:29:25.039> life.

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[laughter]<00:29:27.120> So<00:29:27.279> I've<00:29:27.520> been<00:29:27.679> pretty<00:29:27.840> hard<00:29:28.000> on<00:29:28.240> America<00:29:28.720> lately,<00:29:29.200> you<00:29:29.360> know.

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But<00:29:30.000> in<00:29:30.240> that<00:29:30.399> moment,<00:29:30.559> I<00:29:30.720> was<00:29:30.880> like,<00:29:31.039> you<00:29:31.120> know<00:29:31.200> what?<00:29:31.440> We<00:29:31.679> still<00:29:31.840> got<00:29:32.000> it.

00:29:32.320 --> 00:29:39.520
We<00:29:32.708> still<00:29:33.095> got<00:29:33.483> it.<00:29:33.871> [laughter]<00:29:34.258> Canadian<00:29:34.646> ain't<00:29:35.034> doing<00:29:35.422> that<00:29:35.809> [<00:29:36.197> __<00:29:36.585> ]<00:29:36.972> you<00:29:37.360> know?

00:29:39.520 --> 00:29:47.279
So<00:29:39.840> yeah,<00:29:40.080> I<00:29:40.320> you<00:29:40.399> know,<00:29:40.559> I'm<00:29:40.799> down<00:29:40.960> on<00:29:41.200> humanity,<00:29:41.760> but<00:29:42.320> um<00:29:42.559> you<00:29:42.720> know,<00:29:42.799> I<00:29:43.039> I<00:29:43.200> like<00:29:43.279> to<00:29:43.440> remind<00:29:43.760> myself<00:29:44.480> uh<00:29:44.559> that,<00:29:44.960> you<00:29:45.039> know,<00:29:45.200> even<00:29:45.440> though<00:29:45.760> we're<00:29:46.000> shitty,<00:29:46.799> we<00:29:47.039> used<00:29:47.200> to

00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:51.039
be<00:29:47.360> a<00:29:47.440> lot<00:29:47.600> shittier,<00:29:48.640> and<00:29:48.799> that<00:29:48.960> gives<00:29:49.120> me<00:29:49.200> a<00:29:49.360> little<00:29:49.520> hope<00:29:49.760> as<00:29:50.000> America<00:29:50.399> collapses.

00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:54.000
It<00:29:51.279> does.<00:29:52.880> We<00:29:53.120> used<00:29:53.200> to<00:29:53.360> be<00:29:53.440> a<00:29:53.520> lot<00:29:53.600> shittier.

00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:56.799
I<00:29:54.159> was<00:29:54.240> reminded<00:29:54.559> of<00:29:54.640> this<00:29:54.880> recently.<00:29:55.279> My<00:29:55.520> cousin<00:29:55.760> had<00:29:55.919> a<00:29:56.080> bat<00:29:56.320> mitzvah.

00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:02.720
I<00:29:57.017> don't<00:29:57.235> know<00:29:57.454> if<00:29:57.672> you<00:29:57.890> know<00:29:58.108> about<00:29:58.327> mitzvah,<00:29:58.545> but<00:29:58.763> when<00:29:58.981> you're<00:29:59.200> 13,<00:29:59.418> you<00:29:59.636> read<00:29:59.854> a<00:30:00.072> chapter<00:30:00.291> from<00:30:00.509> the<00:30:00.727> Bible<00:30:00.945> to<00:30:01.164> the<00:30:01.382> whole<00:30:01.600> congregation.

00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:05.440
And<00:30:02.960> my<00:30:03.120> cousin,<00:30:03.520> she's<00:30:03.840> a<00:30:04.000> Reform.<00:30:04.480> I<00:30:04.640> grew<00:30:04.720> up<00:30:04.880> Conservative.

00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:09.039
In<00:30:05.679> Conservative<00:30:06.159> Judaism,<00:30:06.640> you<00:30:06.799> do<00:30:06.880> the<00:30:07.039> whole<00:30:07.200> service<00:30:07.840> in<00:30:08.320> Hebrew.

00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:12.240
Reform<00:30:09.440> Jews,<00:30:09.679> they<00:30:09.840> do<00:30:09.919> it<00:30:10.000> all<00:30:10.080> in<00:30:10.320> English.<00:30:10.640> They're<00:30:10.799> like<00:30:10.960> the<00:30:11.120> liberal<00:30:11.440> hippie<00:30:11.760> Jews.

00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:17.200
You<00:30:12.320> know,<00:30:13.200> they<00:30:13.440> are<00:30:13.600> there's<00:30:13.840> always<00:30:14.000> a<00:30:14.159> lesbian<00:30:14.559> rabbi<00:30:14.880> at<00:30:15.120> every<00:30:15.360> synagogue,<00:30:16.000> every<00:30:16.159> synagogue.

00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:21.360
It's<00:30:17.440> like<00:30:17.600> a<00:30:17.840> law.<00:30:18.960> It's<00:30:19.200> like<00:30:19.279> a<00:30:19.440> It's<00:30:19.679> like,<00:30:19.840> you<00:30:19.919> know<00:30:20.000> how<00:30:20.159> lifeguards<00:30:20.720> have<00:30:20.799> to<00:30:20.960> be<00:30:21.039> hot?

00:30:21.360 --> 00:30:29.520
Like<00:30:22.080> lesbian<00:30:22.480> rabbi<00:30:22.799> at<00:30:23.039> every<00:30:24.240> they're<00:30:24.480> like<00:30:24.640> eating<00:30:24.880> out<00:30:24.960> their<00:30:25.200> girlfriend<00:30:25.520> on<00:30:25.760> stage<00:30:26.080> during<00:30:26.399> the<00:30:26.640> ceremony<00:30:27.279> and<00:30:28.960> and<00:30:29.200> they<00:30:29.360> do

00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:34.720
the<00:30:29.679> whole<00:30:29.840> service<00:30:30.159> in<00:30:30.240> in<00:30:30.559> English.<00:30:30.880> So<00:30:31.520> my<00:30:31.679> my<00:30:32.000> cousin<00:30:32.240> had<00:30:32.399> to<00:30:32.559> read<00:30:32.720> a<00:30:32.880> chapter<00:30:33.120> from<00:30:33.279> the<00:30:33.360> Bible<00:30:33.679> to<00:30:33.919> the<00:30:34.080> whole<00:30:34.159> congregation.

00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:43.200
Now,<00:30:34.960> the<00:30:35.120> problem<00:30:35.279> with<00:30:35.440> that<00:30:36.080> is<00:30:36.399> not<00:30:36.720> every<00:30:37.039> chapter<00:30:37.360> in<00:30:37.520> the<00:30:37.679> Bible<00:30:38.159> really<00:30:38.559> holds<00:30:38.880> up.

00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:49.679
This<00:30:43.524> is<00:30:43.849> 100%<00:30:44.173> true.<00:30:44.498> 13-year-old<00:30:44.822> girl<00:30:45.146> on<00:30:45.471> stage,<00:30:45.795> 300<00:30:46.120> people<00:30:46.444> in<00:30:46.768> the<00:30:47.093> congregation,<00:30:47.417> her<00:30:47.741> parents<00:30:48.066> smiling<00:30:48.390> proudly<00:30:48.715> behind<00:30:49.039> her.

00:30:49.679 --> 00:30:56.946
And<00:30:49.840> I<00:30:50.000> guess<00:30:50.159> she<00:30:50.320> had<00:30:50.480> never<00:30:50.720> seen<00:30:51.039> that<00:30:51.360> chapter<00:30:51.760> before<00:30:52.000> cuz<00:30:52.159> she<00:30:52.320> opens<00:30:52.559> it<00:30:52.720> and<00:30:52.880> she<00:30:53.039> looks<00:30:53.279> down<00:30:53.600> and<00:30:53.840> she's<00:30:54.080> like,

00:30:56.946 --> 00:31:05.461
[laughter]

00:31:05.461 --> 00:31:08.799
<00:31:05.462> [laughter]

00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:14.631
<00:31:09.103> When<00:31:09.407> a<00:31:09.712> slave<00:31:10.016> offends<00:31:10.320> you,

00:31:14.631 --> 00:31:17.360
[laughter]

00:31:17.360 --> 00:31:23.520
you<00:31:17.679> cut<00:31:17.840> off<00:31:18.080> his<00:31:18.399> right<00:31:18.640> arm.<00:31:19.871> [laughter]

00:31:23.520 --> 00:31:28.880
That's<00:31:23.760> what<00:31:24.000> you<00:31:24.159> do.<00:31:25.766> [laughter]

00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:34.281
If<00:31:29.039> he<00:31:29.200> offends<00:31:29.600> you<00:31:29.760> again,<00:31:31.919> you<00:31:32.320> execute<00:31:32.880> him.

00:31:34.281 --> 00:31:40.831
[laughter]<00:31:36.080> These<00:31:36.320> are<00:31:36.480> the<00:31:36.640> laws<00:31:37.039> I,<00:31:37.440> God,<00:31:39.200> have<00:31:39.440> commanded<00:31:39.919> you.

00:31:40.831 --> 00:31:44.960
[laughter]

00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:52.622
And<00:31:45.170> I'm<00:31:45.380> in<00:31:45.590> the<00:31:45.800> back<00:31:46.010> going,<00:31:46.220> "Yeah,<00:31:46.430> that's<00:31:46.640> why<00:31:46.850> we<00:31:47.060> do<00:31:47.270> this<00:31:47.480> [<00:31:47.690> __<00:31:47.900> ]<00:31:48.110> in<00:31:48.320> Hebrew."

00:31:52.622 --> 00:31:57.862
[applause]

00:31:57.862 --> 00:32:03.760
<00:31:57.863> [laughter]

00:32:03.760 --> 00:32:07.840
<00:32:03.935> So,<00:32:04.109> it's<00:32:04.284> a<00:32:04.458> weird<00:32:04.633> time<00:32:04.807> to<00:32:04.982> be<00:32:05.156> a<00:32:05.331> Jew.<00:32:05.505> It's<00:32:05.680> a<00:32:05.855> weird<00:32:06.029> time<00:32:06.204> to<00:32:06.378> be<00:32:06.553> a<00:32:06.727> liberal<00:32:06.902> Jew<00:32:07.076> with<00:32:07.251> Israel,<00:32:07.425> you<00:32:07.600> know.

00:32:07.840 --> 00:32:11.279
You<00:32:07.919> know,<00:32:08.240> you<00:32:08.399> feel<00:32:08.559> very<00:32:08.799> conflicted.<00:32:09.360> I,<00:32:09.600> you<00:32:09.760> know,<00:32:09.840> I<00:32:10.000> hate<00:32:10.240> the<00:32:10.399> Israeli<00:32:10.880> government.

00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:15.279
I<00:32:11.440> hate<00:32:11.600> the<00:32:11.760> war,<00:32:12.000> but<00:32:12.240> I'm<00:32:12.399> also<00:32:12.559> very<00:32:12.799> aware<00:32:12.960> of<00:32:13.039> the<00:32:13.279> anti-semitism,<00:32:14.240> you<00:32:14.320> know,<00:32:14.480> and<00:32:14.720> it's<00:32:14.960> tough.

00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:17.039
I've<00:32:15.519> been<00:32:15.600> trying<00:32:15.760> to<00:32:16.080> learn<00:32:16.320> about<00:32:16.559> Israel<00:32:16.880> more.

00:32:17.039 --> 00:32:22.240
I've<00:32:17.200> been<00:32:17.360> trying<00:32:17.440> to<00:32:17.519> read<00:32:17.600> an<00:32:17.840> objective<00:32:18.159> book<00:32:18.399> about<00:32:18.640> Israel,<00:32:18.960> but<00:32:19.200> it's<00:32:19.360> very<00:32:19.600> hard<00:32:20.240> to<00:32:20.399> read<00:32:20.559> an<00:32:20.720> objective<00:32:21.120> book<00:32:21.279> about<00:32:21.519> Israel.

00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:27.992
Turned<00:32:22.480> out<00:32:22.640> the<00:32:22.799> book<00:32:22.960> I<00:32:23.120> read<00:32:23.360> by<00:32:23.679> uh<00:32:24.000> Yahuda<00:32:24.559> Ben<00:32:24.799> Schwarzberger

00:32:27.992 --> 00:32:35.679
[laughter]<00:32:28.720> had<00:32:28.960> a<00:32:29.200> very<00:32:29.519> different<00:32:29.840> perspective<00:32:31.600> than<00:32:31.840> the<00:32:32.080> one<00:32:32.240> by<00:32:32.480> Muhammad<00:32:33.039> Zahed.

00:32:35.679 --> 00:32:40.000
Here's<00:32:35.919> a<00:32:36.080> new<00:32:36.240> rule.<00:32:36.559> No<00:32:36.799> Jew<00:32:37.039> or<00:32:37.200> Muslim<00:32:37.600> should<00:32:37.840> ever<00:32:38.000> be<00:32:38.159> able<00:32:38.320> to<00:32:38.399> write<00:32:38.559> a<00:32:38.720> book<00:32:38.880> about<00:32:39.120> Israel.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:46.880
We<00:32:40.159> need<00:32:40.320> to<00:32:40.399> get<00:32:40.480> like<00:32:40.640> a<00:32:40.799> Filipino<00:32:41.279> to<00:32:41.519> write<00:32:41.679> a<00:32:41.840> book<00:32:42.000> about<00:32:42.320> Israel.

00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:52.799
Yeah,<00:32:47.120> everyone's<00:32:47.440> very<00:32:47.679> angry.<00:32:48.000> I<00:32:48.159> get<00:32:48.240> it.<00:32:48.399> I<00:32:48.640> was<00:32:48.720> watching<00:32:48.960> the<00:32:49.120> news<00:32:49.519> uh<00:32:49.679> like<00:32:49.840> you<00:32:49.919> know<00:32:50.080> maybe<00:32:50.320> eight<00:32:50.559> months<00:32:50.640> ago<00:32:50.799> and<00:32:50.960> I<00:32:51.120> saw<00:32:51.200> these<00:32:51.440> student<00:32:51.679> protesters<00:32:52.399> in

00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:59.360
uh<00:32:52.960> Colombia<00:32:53.360> and<00:32:53.519> I<00:32:53.679> you<00:32:53.760> know<00:32:53.840> I<00:32:54.000> support<00:32:54.240> the<00:32:54.399> right<00:32:54.559> to<00:32:54.720> protest<00:32:55.039> and<00:32:55.200> these<00:32:55.440> cops<00:32:55.760> came<00:32:55.919> in<00:32:56.159> and<00:32:56.399> I<00:32:56.559> saw<00:32:56.720> one<00:32:56.880> of<00:32:56.960> the<00:32:57.120> student<00:32:57.360> protesters<00:32:58.159> yell<00:32:58.399> at<00:32:58.640> a<00:32:58.799> cop<00:32:59.039> to<00:32:59.200> get

00:32:59.360 --> 00:33:04.559
a<00:32:59.519> real<00:32:59.760> job.<00:33:00.742> [laughter]

00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.399
Whatever<00:33:04.880> you<00:33:04.960> feel<00:33:05.120> about<00:33:05.279> cops<00:33:05.679> that's<00:33:05.840> got<00:33:05.919> to<00:33:06.080> hurt.

00:33:06.399 --> 00:33:10.080
That's<00:33:06.559> got<00:33:06.720> to<00:33:06.960> really<00:33:08.159> that's<00:33:08.399> definitely<00:33:08.720> the<00:33:08.880> cop's<00:33:09.279> rock<00:33:09.600> bottom.

00:33:10.080 --> 00:33:18.159
you<00:33:10.320> know,<00:33:10.880> to<00:33:11.120> be<00:33:11.200> told<00:33:11.440> to<00:33:11.679> get<00:33:11.760> a<00:33:11.919> real<00:33:12.240> job<00:33:13.440> by<00:33:13.679> an<00:33:13.919> undergrad<00:33:14.640> philosophy<00:33:15.279> major.

00:33:18.159 --> 00:33:20.799
Get<00:33:18.399> a<00:33:18.559> real<00:33:18.880> job.<00:33:19.360> Okay,<00:33:20.080> now<00:33:20.399> excuse<00:33:20.640> me.

00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:23.668
I'm<00:33:20.960> late<00:33:21.200> for<00:33:21.360> my<00:33:21.519> class,<00:33:21.840> the<00:33:22.080> lyrics<00:33:22.320> of<00:33:22.480> Taylor<00:33:22.880> Swift.

00:33:23.668 --> 00:33:26.799
[laughter]

00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:30.320
<00:33:27.039> Yeah,<00:33:27.279> it's<00:33:27.519> hard.<00:33:27.759> Everyone's<00:33:27.999> picking<00:33:28.239> sides.<00:33:28.479> No<00:33:28.719> one<00:33:28.959> has<00:33:29.199> any<00:33:29.439> real<00:33:29.679> nuance.

00:33:30.320 --> 00:33:33.519
Do<00:33:30.480> you<00:33:30.559> all<00:33:30.720> know<00:33:30.799> the<00:33:31.200> um<00:33:31.360> porn<00:33:31.679> star<00:33:32.080> Mia<00:33:32.399> Khalifa?

00:33:33.519 --> 00:33:41.440
<00:33:33.861> Lebanese<00:33:34.203> porn<00:33:34.544> star<00:33:34.886> big<00:33:35.228> tits.<00:33:35.570> [laughter]<00:33:35.912> That's<00:33:36.254> neither,<00:33:36.595> you<00:33:36.937> know,<00:33:37.279> here<00:33:37.621> nor<00:33:37.963> there,<00:33:38.304> but<00:33:38.646> I'm<00:33:38.988> trying<00:33:39.330> to<00:33:39.672> trying<00:33:40.014> to<00:33:40.355> paint<00:33:40.697> a<00:33:41.039> picture.

00:33:41.440 --> 00:33:45.279
And<00:33:41.919> um<00:33:42.663> [laughter]

00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:51.200
so<00:33:45.600> during<00:33:45.919> October<00:33:46.399> 7th,<00:33:46.799> during<00:33:46.960> the<00:33:47.279> massacre,<00:33:47.760> she<00:33:48.000> tweeted<00:33:48.240> out<00:33:48.480> something<00:33:48.720> kind<00:33:48.880> of<00:33:49.039> celebrating<00:33:49.840> the<00:33:50.080> death<00:33:50.240> of<00:33:50.399> the<00:33:50.559> civilians.

00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:58.240
And<00:33:51.360> I<00:33:51.600> get<00:33:51.760> being<00:33:52.000> really<00:33:52.240> angry<00:33:52.559> at<00:33:52.720> Israel,<00:33:53.120> but<00:33:53.360> anyone<00:33:53.679> celebrating<00:33:54.159> the<00:33:54.320> death<00:33:54.480> of<00:33:54.640> civilians<00:33:55.039> on<00:33:55.200> either<00:33:55.440> side,<00:33:55.679> it's<00:33:55.919> it's<00:33:56.080> it's<00:33:56.399> disgusting,<00:33:57.039> you<00:33:57.120> know.

00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:04.720
And<00:33:58.480> it<00:33:58.640> was<00:33:58.799> really

00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:09.760
it<00:34:04.880> was<00:34:05.039> really<00:34:05.279> hard<00:34:05.440> for<00:34:05.600> me<00:34:05.679> to<00:34:05.840> hear<00:34:06.898> [laughter]

00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:14.758
cuz<00:34:10.000> I<00:34:10.159> had<00:34:12.240> I'd<00:34:12.560> been<00:34:12.720> a<00:34:12.879> really<00:34:13.040> big<00:34:13.280> fan<00:34:13.520> of<00:34:13.679> her.

00:34:14.758 --> 00:34:19.200
[laughter]

00:34:19.200 --> 00:34:25.440
Like<00:34:19.440> a<00:34:19.599> really<00:34:19.839> big<00:34:20.079> fan.<00:34:21.308> [laughter]<00:34:23.440> And<00:34:23.679> I<00:34:23.839> know<00:34:24.079> I<00:34:24.320> know<00:34:24.639> I<00:34:24.800> know<00:34:24.879> what<00:34:25.040> you're<00:34:25.119> going<00:34:25.200> to<00:34:25.280> say.

00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:34.240
I<00:34:25.599> know<00:34:25.679> you're<00:34:25.919> supposed<00:34:26.079> to,<00:34:26.320> you<00:34:26.399> know,<00:34:27.040> try<00:34:27.280> and<00:34:27.520> separate<00:34:27.919> the<00:34:28.159> artists<00:34:30.478> [laughter]<00:34:32.720> from<00:34:32.960> their<00:34:33.200> hardcore<00:34:33.599> pornography,

00:34:34.240 --> 00:34:36.320
but<00:34:34.399> it's<00:34:35.679> it's<00:34:36.079> hard.

00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:45.520
It's<00:34:36.639> very<00:34:36.960> difficult.<00:34:38.720> How<00:34:38.960> could<00:34:39.119> I,<00:34:39.359> in<00:34:39.520> good<00:34:39.679> conscience,<00:34:41.280> continue<00:34:41.679> masturbating<00:34:42.320> to<00:34:42.480> this<00:34:42.720> woman<00:34:43.578> [laughter]<00:34:45.280> while

00:34:45.520 --> 00:34:55.040
she's<00:34:45.760> getting<00:34:46.000> gangbanged<00:34:47.040> by<00:34:47.280> an<00:34:47.440> entire<00:34:47.839> college<00:34:48.159> basketball<00:34:48.639> team<00:34:49.473> [laughter]<00:34:50.399> and<00:34:50.720> still<00:34:50.960> feel<00:34:51.200> good<00:34:51.359> about<00:34:51.599> myself?

00:34:55.040 --> 00:34:59.299
The<00:34:55.280> answer<00:34:55.760> is<00:34:56.079> reluctantly,

00:34:59.299 --> 00:35:03.200
[laughter]

00:35:03.200 --> 00:35:09.839
but<00:35:03.440> it's<00:35:03.599> tough,<00:35:03.920> you<00:35:04.000> know.<00:35:04.160> I<00:35:04.400> I'd<00:35:04.560> be<00:35:04.720> watching<00:35:04.960> her<00:35:05.119> getting<00:35:05.359> bukkaked<00:35:05.920> on,<00:35:06.320> you<00:35:06.480> know,<00:35:07.200> while<00:35:07.440> her<00:35:07.599> husband's<00:35:08.000> like<00:35:08.240> gagged<00:35:08.640> in<00:35:08.800> the<00:35:08.960> corner<00:35:09.200> of<00:35:09.280> the<00:35:09.440> barn<00:35:09.680> and

00:35:09.839 --> 00:35:12.000
I'd<00:35:10.000> be<00:35:10.079> like,<00:35:10.160> "Something<00:35:10.480> about<00:35:10.640> this<00:35:10.880> just<00:35:11.119> doesn't<00:35:11.440> feel<00:35:11.599> right."

00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:17.839
You<00:35:12.079> know,<00:35:13.054> [laughter]<00:35:14.800> just<00:35:15.040> feel<00:35:15.359> icky<00:35:15.599> right<00:35:15.839> now,<00:35:16.079> you<00:35:16.240> know?

00:35:17.839 --> 00:35:19.680
I<00:35:18.007> don't<00:35:18.175> know<00:35:18.343> why<00:35:18.511> dick's<00:35:18.680> at<00:35:18.848> my<00:35:19.016> hip.<00:35:19.184> I<00:35:19.352> don't<00:35:19.520> know.

00:35:19.680 --> 00:35:25.920
But<00:35:19.839> anyway,<00:35:20.914> [laughter]<00:35:22.079> I<00:35:22.240> feel<00:35:22.400> like<00:35:22.560> nowadays<00:35:22.960> having<00:35:23.119> it<00:35:23.280> here<00:35:23.440> is<00:35:23.599> like<00:35:23.680> a<00:35:23.839> sex<00:35:24.000> crime,<00:35:24.240> so<00:35:24.320> I<00:35:24.480> put<00:35:24.560> it<00:35:24.800> here.

00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:28.160
Now<00:35:26.079> I'm<00:35:26.320> just<00:35:26.480> coming<00:35:26.720> in<00:35:26.880> this<00:35:27.040> juice<00:35:27.359> face.<00:35:27.680> That's<00:35:27.839> fine.

00:35:28.160 --> 00:35:32.704
And<00:35:28.480> um

00:35:32.704 --> 00:35:36.000
[laughter]<00:35:34.079> so<00:35:34.320> I<00:35:34.480> stopped<00:35:34.720> I<00:35:34.880> stopped<00:35:35.119> masturbating<00:35:35.599> to<00:35:35.760> her.

00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:40.400
I<00:35:36.160> couldn't<00:35:36.400> do<00:35:36.480> it.<00:35:37.119> And<00:35:37.520> uh<00:35:37.760> you<00:35:37.920> know<00:35:38.079> the<00:35:38.240> the<00:35:38.480> dick<00:35:38.720> has<00:35:38.880> more<00:35:39.040> tribal<00:35:39.440> allegiance<00:35:39.839> than<00:35:40.000> you<00:35:40.160> think.

00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:45.804
And<00:35:40.800> uh<00:35:41.219> [laughter]<00:35:43.040> I<00:35:43.280> started<00:35:43.599> masturbating<00:35:44.320> to<00:35:44.400> an<00:35:44.640> Israeli<00:35:45.119> porn<00:35:45.440> star.

00:35:45.804 --> 00:35:53.009
[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:35:54.960> And<00:35:55.200> I<00:35:55.359> don't<00:35:55.520> like<00:35:55.760> I<00:35:56.000> do<00:35:56.160> not<00:35:56.480> I<00:35:56.720> do<00:35:56.880> not<00:35:57.119> like<00:35:57.359> being<00:35:57.599> ideological<00:35:58.400> about<00:35:58.640> porn.

00:35:59.040 --> 00:36:05.200
I<00:35:59.200> don't<00:35:59.280> like<00:35:59.440> to<00:35:59.599> do<00:35:59.680> it.<00:36:00.214> [laughter]<00:36:02.400> But<00:36:02.560> I<00:36:02.720> started<00:36:03.040> doing<00:36:03.200> it,<00:36:03.520> you<00:36:03.680> know,<00:36:03.839> and<00:36:04.160> you<00:36:04.320> know,<00:36:04.560> it<00:36:04.800> was<00:36:04.880> good.

00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:12.880
you<00:36:05.280> know,<00:36:05.440> I<00:36:05.599> feel<00:36:05.760> like<00:36:05.839> my<00:36:06.079> mom<00:36:06.240> can<00:36:06.480> finally<00:36:06.800> be<00:36:06.960> proud,<00:36:07.440> you<00:36:07.520> know,<00:36:07.760> and<00:36:08.240> um<00:36:09.440> just<00:36:09.680> that<00:36:09.839> I'm<00:36:10.000> doing<00:36:10.240> something<00:36:10.480> Jewish,<00:36:11.040> you<00:36:11.200> know,<00:36:11.359> and<00:36:12.320> she<00:36:12.560> was<00:36:12.720> good.

00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:15.680
She<00:36:13.040> was<00:36:13.119> a<00:36:13.200> good<00:36:13.359> porn<00:36:13.599> star.<00:36:13.839> She<00:36:14.000> was<00:36:14.079> really<00:36:14.240> into<00:36:14.720> um<00:36:14.880> BDSM.

00:36:15.680 --> 00:36:20.880
I<00:36:15.969> don't<00:36:16.258> know<00:36:16.548> if<00:36:16.837> you<00:36:17.126> know<00:36:17.415> that.<00:36:17.705> It's<00:36:17.994> like<00:36:18.283> uh<00:36:18.572> bondage,<00:36:18.862> domination,<00:36:19.151> sadism,<00:36:19.440> masochism.

00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:29.119
She<00:36:21.200> wasn't<00:36:21.440> so<00:36:21.680> much<00:36:21.839> into<00:36:22.160> BDS,<00:36:23.795> [laughter]

00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:32.310
boycott,<00:36:29.760> divest,<00:36:30.240> sanction.<00:36:30.640> She<00:36:30.800> was<00:36:30.960> not.

00:36:32.310 --> 00:36:34.560
[laughter]<00:36:33.359> So,<00:36:33.520> I<00:36:33.599> was<00:36:33.760> masturbating<00:36:34.160> to<00:36:34.320> her.

00:36:34.560 --> 00:36:38.320
was<00:36:34.720> going<00:36:34.880> well.<00:36:35.119> And<00:36:35.280> then<00:36:35.440> one<00:36:35.599> day

00:36:38.320 --> 00:36:44.079
flying<00:36:38.960> to<00:36:39.200> Texas<00:36:40.480> and<00:36:40.720> I'm<00:36:40.880> on<00:36:40.960> the<00:36:41.119> plane<00:36:41.359> and<00:36:41.520> it's<00:36:41.760> shaking<00:36:42.240> and<00:36:42.480> I'm<00:36:42.640> afraid<00:36:42.880> of<00:36:43.040> turbulence.

00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:49.040
And<00:36:44.240> now<00:36:44.480> I<00:36:44.640> I've<00:36:44.960> actually<00:36:45.200> recently<00:36:45.520> learned<00:36:45.760> a<00:36:45.920> trick,<00:36:46.480> like<00:36:46.640> an<00:36:46.880> exercise<00:36:47.200> to<00:36:47.359> do<00:36:47.520> to<00:36:47.680> keep<00:36:47.760> you<00:36:47.920> from<00:36:48.079> being<00:36:48.240> afraid<00:36:48.400> of<00:36:48.560> turbulence.

00:36:49.040 --> 00:36:50.800
If<00:36:49.200> anyone's<00:36:49.520> afraid<00:36:49.680> of<00:36:49.760> turbulence,<00:36:50.160> you<00:36:50.320> can<00:36:50.400> try<00:36:50.560> it.

00:36:50.800 --> 00:36:57.680
Next<00:36:51.040> time<00:36:51.119> you're<00:36:51.280> on<00:36:51.440> a<00:36:51.520> plane<00:36:51.680> and<00:36:51.920> it's<00:36:52.079> shaking,<00:36:52.480> just<00:36:52.720> close<00:36:52.880> your<00:36:53.040> eyes,<00:36:53.920> think<00:36:54.160> about<00:36:54.320> all<00:36:54.480> the<00:36:54.640> dreams<00:36:54.880> in<00:36:55.040> your<00:36:55.119> life<00:36:55.280> that<00:36:55.520> didn't<00:36:55.760> come<00:36:56.000> true,<00:36:57.040> and<00:36:57.280> eventually

00:36:57.680 --> 00:36:59.820
you<00:36:57.839> get<00:36:57.920> so<00:36:58.160> sad<00:36:58.400> you're<00:36:58.640> kind<00:36:58.720> of<00:36:58.880> okay<00:36:59.200> dying.

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[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:37:08.160> It<00:37:08.400> worked<00:37:08.720> really<00:37:09.040> well.

00:37:09.359 --> 00:37:11.920
It<00:37:09.520> was<00:37:09.680> really<00:37:09.920> good.<00:37:10.955> [laughter]<00:37:11.040> I<00:37:11.280> was<00:37:11.359> on<00:37:11.520> the<00:37:11.680> plane.

00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:13.760
It<00:37:12.098> was<00:37:12.276> shaking.<00:37:12.453> I'm<00:37:12.631> like,<00:37:12.809> "Let's<00:37:12.987> [expletive]<00:37:13.164> have<00:37:13.342> a<00:37:13.520> crash."

00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:20.480
I'm<00:37:13.920> so<00:37:14.160> sad,<00:37:14.480> you<00:37:14.640> know."<00:37:17.040> So,<00:37:17.200> I<00:37:17.359> look<00:37:17.599> over<00:37:17.760> to<00:37:17.920> my<00:37:18.079> left<00:37:18.240> and<00:37:18.400> who<00:37:18.640> do<00:37:18.720> I<00:37:18.880> see<00:37:19.040> across<00:37:19.359> the<00:37:19.520> aisle?

00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:29.296
But<00:37:20.720> the<00:37:20.880> Israeli<00:37:21.359> porn<00:37:21.599> star,<00:37:22.720> which<00:37:22.960> is<00:37:23.119> very<00:37:23.359> exciting,<00:37:23.839> you<00:37:24.000> know,<00:37:24.560> and<00:37:24.720> so<00:37:24.880> I<00:37:25.040> say,<00:37:25.119> "Excuse<00:37:25.520> me,<00:37:25.680> are<00:37:25.920> you<00:37:27.040> Brook?"

00:37:29.296 --> 00:37:34.079
[laughter]

00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:39.776
She<00:37:34.400> she<00:37:34.720> says,<00:37:34.880> "I<00:37:35.200> am."<00:37:36.079> And<00:37:36.240> I<00:37:36.480> said,<00:37:36.560> "You<00:37:36.800> know,<00:37:36.880> I<00:37:37.040> don't<00:37:37.119> I<00:37:37.280> hope<00:37:37.440> this<00:37:37.599> doesn't<00:37:37.760> come<00:37:37.920> off<00:37:38.079> as<00:37:38.240> like<00:37:38.400> weird<00:37:38.720> or<00:37:38.960> anything."

00:37:39.776 --> 00:37:42.320
[laughter]<00:37:40.560> I<00:37:40.800> jacked<00:37:41.119> off<00:37:41.280> to<00:37:41.440> all<00:37:41.599> your<00:37:41.839> work."

00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:45.680
Um,<00:37:44.800> and<00:37:45.040> we<00:37:45.200> started<00:37:45.440> talking.

00:37:45.680 --> 00:37:49.520
It<00:37:45.760> was<00:37:45.920> going<00:37:46.079> well.<00:37:46.400> You<00:37:46.480> know,<00:37:46.640> it<00:37:46.800> was<00:37:46.880> a<00:37:46.960> good<00:37:47.200> it<00:37:47.440> was<00:37:47.520> a<00:37:47.599> good<00:37:47.760> conversation,<00:37:48.480> you<00:37:48.640> know.

00:37:49.520 --> 00:38:02.640
But<00:37:49.680> then<00:37:49.839> at<00:37:50.000> one<00:37:50.079> point<00:37:50.240> in<00:37:50.320> the<00:37:50.480> topic,<00:37:50.800> the<00:37:50.960> Palestinians<00:37:51.599> came<00:37:51.760> up<00:37:52.240> and<00:37:52.480> she<00:37:52.720> said<00:37:52.880> she<00:37:53.040> didn't<00:37:53.200> think<00:37:53.280> the<00:37:53.520> Palestinians<00:37:54.720> deserved<00:37:55.119> their<00:37:55.280> own<00:37:55.440> homeland.

00:38:02.640 --> 00:38:06.631
Never<00:38:03.920> meet<00:38:04.240> your<00:38:04.400> heroes.

00:38:06.631 --> 00:38:09.760
[laughter]<00:38:09.119> So,<00:38:09.280> I<00:38:09.440> stopped.

00:38:09.760 --> 00:38:12.880
I<00:38:09.920> couldn't<00:38:10.079> do<00:38:10.160> it<00:38:10.320> anymore,<00:38:10.720> you<00:38:10.880> know.<00:38:11.599> I<00:38:11.839> stopped<00:38:12.079> masturbating<00:38:12.560> to<00:38:12.720> her.

00:38:12.880 --> 00:38:21.839
I<00:38:13.040> started<00:38:13.280> looking<00:38:13.359> for<00:38:13.520> a<00:38:13.680> porn<00:38:13.920> star<00:38:14.160> with<00:38:14.400> like<00:38:14.480> a<00:38:14.640> more<00:38:14.880> nuanced<00:38:15.359> view<00:38:16.456> [laughter]<00:38:18.640> of<00:38:18.800> the<00:38:19.040> Israeli<00:38:19.520> Palestinian<00:38:20.079> conflict.

00:38:21.839 --> 00:38:25.680
But<00:38:21.920> it<00:38:22.160> was<00:38:22.240> very<00:38:22.480> difficult.<00:38:22.960> That's<00:38:23.119> a<00:38:23.280> very<00:38:23.599> That<00:38:23.839> is<00:38:24.000> not<00:38:24.160> a<00:38:24.400> category<00:38:24.880> on<00:38:25.119> Pornhub.

00:38:25.680 --> 00:38:33.839
It<00:38:25.839> is<00:38:26.000> not.<00:38:26.936> [laughter]<00:38:27.280> And<00:38:27.440> they<00:38:27.680> have<00:38:27.760> a<00:38:28.000> lot<00:38:28.079> of<00:38:28.240> categories,<00:38:28.880> you<00:38:29.040> know,<00:38:31.520> and<00:38:31.839> you<00:38:32.000> know,<00:38:32.160> I<00:38:33.760> you

00:38:33.839 --> 00:38:40.560
know,<00:38:34.079> call<00:38:34.240> me<00:38:34.320> an<00:38:34.480> optimist,<00:38:34.880> but<00:38:35.119> I<00:38:35.280> still<00:38:35.520> believe<00:38:36.761> [laughter]

00:38:40.560 --> 00:38:48.640
that<00:38:40.960> one<00:38:41.200> day,<00:38:42.720> one<00:38:43.040> day<00:38:43.440> in<00:38:43.760> this<00:38:44.079> divisive<00:38:44.720> world,<00:38:45.599> one<00:38:45.839> day<00:38:46.000> I<00:38:46.240> will<00:38:46.400> be<00:38:46.560> masturbating<00:38:48.320> to<00:38:48.560> a

00:38:48.640 --> 00:38:53.680
porn<00:38:48.960> star<00:38:49.200> with<00:38:49.359> a<00:38:49.520> nuanced<00:38:50.000> view<00:38:51.119> of<00:38:51.171> [laughter]<00:38:51.359> the<00:38:51.520> Israeli<00:38:52.000> Palestinian<00:38:52.640> conflict.

00:38:53.680 --> 00:39:00.341
Yes.<00:38:54.960> A<00:38:55.200> porn<00:38:55.440> star<00:38:55.760> who<00:38:56.000> can<00:38:56.160> hold<00:38:56.400> both<00:38:57.520> Netanyahu<00:38:58.400> and<00:38:58.640> Hamas<00:38:59.200> accountable.

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[laughter]

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[laughter]<00:39:05.520> A<00:39:05.760> porn<00:39:06.079> star<00:39:06.400> who<00:39:06.720> can<00:39:06.880> be<00:39:07.359> against<00:39:07.760> the<00:39:08.000> illegal<00:39:08.240> settlements<00:39:08.720> in<00:39:08.880> the<00:39:08.960> West<00:39:09.200> Bank<00:39:09.520> but<00:39:09.760> also<00:39:10.079> acknowledge<00:39:10.480> the<00:39:10.720> anti-semitism<00:39:11.599> on<00:39:11.760> the<00:39:11.920> left<00:39:13.440> and

00:39:13.680 --> 00:39:22.079
the<00:39:13.920> right.<00:39:14.880> A<00:39:15.119> porn<00:39:15.440> star<00:39:17.372> [laughter]<00:39:18.800> who<00:39:19.040> can<00:39:19.200> see<00:39:19.440> Israel<00:39:19.839> for<00:39:20.000> the<00:39:20.160> paradox<00:39:20.640> it<00:39:20.880> is.

00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:30.560
For<00:39:22.240> the<00:39:22.400> Jews,<00:39:23.520> a<00:39:23.839> safe<00:39:24.079> haven<00:39:24.480> before,<00:39:24.960> during,<00:39:25.280> and<00:39:25.520> after<00:39:25.680> the<00:39:25.839> Holocaust,<00:39:27.197> [laughter]<00:39:27.599> and<00:39:27.760> for<00:39:28.000> the<00:39:28.160> Palestinians,<00:39:29.119> a<00:39:29.359> land<00:39:29.520> that<00:39:29.760> they<00:39:29.920> were<00:39:30.160> often

00:39:30.560 --> 00:39:33.359
cruelly<00:39:31.760> displaced<00:39:32.240> from.

00:39:33.359 --> 00:39:39.280
And<00:39:33.520> I'm<00:39:33.760> happy<00:39:33.920> to<00:39:34.160> say<00:39:35.200> two<00:39:35.359> days<00:39:35.520> ago,<00:39:35.839> I<00:39:36.000> found<00:39:36.160> that<00:39:36.400> porn<00:39:36.640> star<00:39:37.680> in<00:39:37.920> the<00:39:38.079> Filipino<00:39:38.720> category.

00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:46.847
It<00:39:39.440> was<00:39:39.599> very<00:39:39.920> exciting.<00:39:41.607> [laughter]

00:39:46.847 --> 00:39:52.320
[applause]

00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:59.440
So<00:39:52.560> anyway,<00:39:52.880> I<00:39:53.040> did<00:39:53.200> Joe<00:39:53.440> Rogan's<00:39:53.920> podcast<00:39:54.560> and<00:39:55.040> uh<00:39:55.362> [laughter]<00:39:56.240> and<00:39:56.480> now<00:39:56.720> now<00:39:56.960> I'm<00:39:57.119> trying<00:39:57.200> to<00:39:57.359> figure<00:39:57.520> out<00:39:57.680> what<00:39:57.839> comedian<00:39:58.240> I<00:39:58.480> want<00:39:58.560> to<00:39:58.640> be<00:39:58.800> because<00:39:59.040> that<00:39:59.200> that's

00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:05.520
more<00:39:59.599> of<00:39:59.680> a<00:39:59.839> conflict<00:40:00.160> for<00:40:00.400> me<00:40:00.720> than<00:40:00.960> even<00:40:01.119> the<00:40:01.280> the<00:40:01.599> Jewish<00:40:01.920> thing,<00:40:02.160> you<00:40:02.320> know,<00:40:02.480> because<00:40:02.720> there's<00:40:02.960> only<00:40:03.119> really<00:40:03.280> two<00:40:03.520> types<00:40:03.680> of<00:40:03.839> comedians<00:40:04.240> you<00:40:04.480> can<00:40:04.560> be<00:40:04.720> now,<00:40:05.040> right?

00:40:05.520 --> 00:40:09.520
There's<00:40:05.839> the<00:40:06.079> Joe<00:40:06.400> Rogan<00:40:07.040> kind<00:40:07.200> of<00:40:07.359> pro-fascist<00:40:08.240> anti-woke<00:40:08.960> comedian.

00:40:09.520 --> 00:40:14.960
you<00:40:09.680> know,<00:40:09.920> they'll<00:40:10.240> make<00:40:10.320> fun<00:40:10.480> of<00:40:10.640> anyone<00:40:10.960> except<00:40:11.280> for<00:40:11.440> people<00:40:11.599> in<00:40:11.839> positions<00:40:12.160> of<00:40:12.400> power,<00:40:12.880> you<00:40:13.040> know.

00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:20.800
So,<00:40:15.119> there's<00:40:15.359> like<00:40:15.599> that<00:40:15.839> comic,<00:40:16.240> the<00:40:16.400> pro-fascist,<00:40:17.359> you<00:40:17.520> know,<00:40:17.760> comic,<00:40:18.079> and<00:40:18.240> then<00:40:18.400> there's<00:40:18.560> the<00:40:18.720> other<00:40:18.880> type<00:40:19.040> of<00:40:19.119> comic,<00:40:19.520> just<00:40:19.680> the<00:40:19.839> crowdwork<00:40:20.400> comic.

00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:24.480
That's<00:40:21.280> half<00:40:21.599> of<00:40:21.760> comics<00:40:22.160> now.<00:40:22.720> They're<00:40:22.960> just<00:40:23.119> like,<00:40:23.200> "What<00:40:23.359> do<00:40:23.520> you<00:40:23.599> do<00:40:23.760> for<00:40:23.920> a<00:40:24.000> living?"

00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:27.680
You<00:40:24.677> know,<00:40:24.875> every<00:40:25.072> comedian,<00:40:25.269> or<00:40:25.467> at<00:40:25.664> least<00:40:25.861> half<00:40:26.059> of<00:40:26.256> them<00:40:26.453> work<00:40:26.651> for<00:40:26.848> the<00:40:27.045> Census<00:40:27.243> Bureau<00:40:27.440> now.

00:40:27.680 --> 00:40:31.839
It's<00:40:27.839> insane.<00:40:28.767> [laughter]<00:40:31.119> It's<00:40:31.359> insane.

00:40:31.839 --> 00:40:35.040
It's<00:40:32.079> the<00:40:32.319> most<00:40:32.559> empty.<00:40:32.799> They're<00:40:33.039> like,<00:40:33.280> "How<00:40:33.520> many<00:40:33.760> residents<00:40:34.000> in<00:40:34.240> your<00:40:34.480> household?"

00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:39.920
You<00:40:35.280> know?<00:40:36.628> [laughter]<00:40:37.920> So,<00:40:38.480> those<00:40:38.720> are<00:40:38.800> the<00:40:38.960> two<00:40:39.119> comics<00:40:39.359> I<00:40:39.520> have<00:40:39.599> to<00:40:39.680> decide.

00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:42.960
Do<00:40:40.000> I<00:40:40.079> want<00:40:40.160> to<00:40:40.240> be<00:40:40.400> like<00:40:40.480> the<00:40:40.640> crowdwork<00:40:41.119> comic<00:40:41.359> or<00:40:41.599> the<00:40:41.680> pro-fascist<00:40:42.400> comic?

00:40:42.960 --> 00:40:45.440
But<00:40:43.040> I<00:40:43.280> believe<00:40:43.440> in<00:40:43.680> nuance<00:40:44.079> and<00:40:44.240> I<00:40:44.400> believe<00:40:44.560> in<00:40:44.720> the<00:40:44.800> dialectic.

00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:47.839
So,<00:40:45.599> lately<00:40:46.000> I've<00:40:46.240> been<00:40:46.400> trying<00:40:46.560> to<00:40:46.720> combine<00:40:47.040> the<00:40:47.280> two.

00:40:47.839 --> 00:40:51.760
So,<00:40:48.160> this<00:40:48.320> is<00:40:48.480> me<00:40:48.640> trying<00:40:48.880> to<00:40:49.040> combine<00:40:49.680> um<00:40:50.240> crowd<00:40:50.560> work<00:40:50.720> and<00:40:51.040> fascism.

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Okay.<00:40:52.348> [laughter]

00:40:55.440 --> 00:40:59.359
The<00:40:55.680> two<00:40:55.920> big<00:40:56.160> types<00:40:56.400> of<00:40:56.480> comedy.<00:40:57.119> Are<00:40:57.359> you<00:40:57.440> two<00:40:57.760> a<00:40:58.079> couple?

00:40:59.359 --> 00:41:06.103
How<00:40:59.680> long<00:41:00.400> have<00:41:00.640> you<00:41:00.720> let<00:41:00.960> conspiracy<00:41:01.440> theories<00:41:01.920> erode<00:41:02.160> your<00:41:02.319> faith<00:41:02.560> in<00:41:02.800> democratic<00:41:03.359> institutions?

00:41:06.103 --> 00:41:09.599
[laughter]

00:41:09.599 --> 00:41:17.920
Anyway,<00:41:10.079> so<00:41:10.880> um<00:41:11.359> in<00:41:11.680> conclusion,<00:41:13.308> [laughter]<00:41:14.960> if<00:41:15.119> there's<00:41:15.359> been<00:41:15.520> any<00:41:15.760> theme<00:41:16.000> tonight,<00:41:16.400> I<00:41:16.560> think<00:41:16.640> it's<00:41:16.960> obvious<00:41:17.280> that<00:41:17.599> it's

00:41:17.920 --> 00:41:21.359
Hitler.

00:41:21.359 --> 00:41:27.200
So,<00:41:21.599> I'd<00:41:21.839> like<00:41:21.920> to<00:41:22.079> end<00:41:22.319> on<00:41:22.480> two<00:41:22.800> Hitler<00:41:23.200> jokes,<00:41:25.280> but<00:41:25.440> these<00:41:25.599> are<00:41:25.760> these<00:41:26.000> are<00:41:26.079> topshelf<00:41:26.560> Hitler<00:41:26.960> jokes.

00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:29.839
Um,

00:41:29.839 --> 00:41:36.160
so<00:41:30.160> I<00:41:30.400> was<00:41:30.480> reading<00:41:30.720> a<00:41:30.880> book<00:41:30.960> about<00:41:31.119> Hitler<00:41:31.520> recently<00:41:31.920> and<00:41:32.160> it<00:41:32.400> said<00:41:32.560> a<00:41:32.800> couple<00:41:32.960> historians<00:41:33.680> believe<00:41:33.920> that<00:41:34.160> Hitler<00:41:34.720> might<00:41:34.960> have<00:41:35.040> been<00:41:35.119> a<00:41:35.280> quarter<00:41:35.599> Jewish.

00:41:36.160 --> 00:41:46.058
That's<00:41:36.400> like<00:41:36.560> a<00:41:36.720> theory.<00:41:37.520> When<00:41:37.680> I<00:41:37.839> read<00:41:38.000> that<00:41:38.160> I<00:41:38.319> was<00:41:38.400> like,<00:41:38.560> god<00:41:38.800> damn,<00:41:40.240> they<00:41:40.480> really<00:41:40.640> do<00:41:40.800> blame<00:41:41.119> everything<00:41:41.359> on<00:41:41.599> the<00:41:41.760> Jews,<00:41:42.160> don't<00:41:42.400> they?

00:41:46.058 --> 00:41:48.560
[laughter]

00:41:48.560 --> 00:41:51.440
Even<00:41:48.960> Hitler<00:41:49.280> is<00:41:49.520> our<00:41:49.680> fault.<00:41:50.079> Really?

00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:54.160
Can<00:41:51.920> can<00:41:52.079> we<00:41:52.240> at<00:41:52.319> least<00:41:52.720> not<00:41:53.040> be<00:41:53.200> blamed<00:41:53.599> for<00:41:53.760> Hitler?

00:41:54.160 --> 00:41:58.504
Can<00:41:54.400> at<00:41:54.480> least.<00:41:55.280> But<00:41:55.440> even<00:41:55.760> Hitler,<00:41:56.079> just<00:41:56.240> another<00:41:56.480> scheming<00:41:56.880> Jew<00:41:57.280> apparently.

00:41:58.504 --> 00:42:01.599
[laughter]

00:42:01.599 --> 00:42:03.920
Another<00:42:02.000> fact<00:42:02.160> about<00:42:02.319> Hitler,<00:42:02.800> this<00:42:02.960> is<00:42:03.040> true,<00:42:03.200> you<00:42:03.359> can<00:42:03.440> look<00:42:03.520> this<00:42:03.680> up.

00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:12.259
He<00:42:04.079> got<00:42:04.160> prescribed<00:42:04.640> speed<00:42:05.040> every<00:42:05.359> day<00:42:05.520> by<00:42:05.680> a<00:42:05.920> doctor,<00:42:06.960> which<00:42:07.200> I<00:42:07.440> believe<00:42:08.240> is<00:42:08.480> the<00:42:08.640> greatest<00:42:09.040> argument<00:42:10.319> against<00:42:10.800> Adderall.

00:42:12.259 --> 00:42:16.160
[laughter]

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Not<00:42:16.400> everyone<00:42:18.079> should<00:42:18.319> be<00:42:18.560> focused.

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[clears<00:42:19.792> throat]<00:42:20.119> [laughter]

00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:28.000
Yeah.<00:42:25.200> Sometimes<00:42:25.839> just<00:42:26.079> got<00:42:26.160> to<00:42:26.319> let<00:42:26.560> people<00:42:26.880> have<00:42:27.280> ADD.

00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:32.720
You<00:42:28.240> understand?<00:42:29.440> I'm<00:42:29.680> just<00:42:29.839> saying<00:42:30.000> if<00:42:30.160> someone<00:42:30.319> asked<00:42:30.480> for<00:42:30.640> Adderall,<00:42:31.200> maybe<00:42:31.359> take<00:42:31.520> a<00:42:31.599> look<00:42:31.680> at<00:42:31.760> their<00:42:31.920> to-do<00:42:32.240> list<00:42:32.400> first.

00:42:32.720 --> 00:42:36.319
How<00:42:32.880> about<00:42:33.040> that?<00:42:34.529> [laughter]<00:42:35.040> Ask<00:42:35.280> them<00:42:35.520> their<00:42:35.760> plans.

00:42:36.319 --> 00:42:43.699
You<00:42:36.480> know,<00:42:37.520> the<00:42:37.839> world<00:42:38.079> would<00:42:38.240> have<00:42:38.400> been<00:42:38.480> better<00:42:38.720> for<00:42:38.960> everyone<00:42:39.280> if<00:42:39.520> Hitler<00:42:39.920> was<00:42:40.000> like,<00:42:40.240> I<00:42:40.319> want<00:42:40.400> to<00:42:40.560> kill<00:42:40.720> all<00:42:40.800> the<00:42:41.040> what's<00:42:41.200> that<00:42:41.440> shiny<00:42:41.760> thing<00:42:42.079> over<00:42:42.319> there?

00:42:43.699 --> 00:42:45.760
[laughter]<00:42:44.880> Oh,<00:42:45.119> it's<00:42:45.280> a<00:42:45.440> quarter.

00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:49.594
You<00:42:45.839> got<00:42:46.000> to<00:42:46.079> pick<00:42:46.240> up<00:42:46.319> a<00:42:46.480> quarter.

00:42:49.594 --> 00:42:54.240
[applause]<00:42:49.760> Thank<00:42:50.000> you<00:42:50.079> all.<00:42:50.319> You<00:42:50.480> all<00:42:50.720> been<00:42:50.880> wonderful.<00:42:51.359> Thank<00:42:51.520> you<00:42:51.559> [cheering]<00:42:51.760> so<00:42:52.079> much.

00:42:54.240 --> 00:43:07.934
You're<00:42:54.640> going<00:42:56.319> to<00:42:58.319> go<00:43:00.074> [music]<00:43:00.960> out

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[music]<00:43:09.520> to

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the<00:43:13.119> whole<00:43:13.174> [music]<00:43:13.680> world<00:43:14.319> goes<00:43:14.640> along.

00:43:15.140 --> 00:43:17.839
[singing]<00:43:15.200> The<00:43:15.599> whole<00:43:16.240> world<00:43:16.880> goes<00:43:17.280> along.

00:43:17.839 --> 00:43:22.345
The<00:43:18.240> whole<00:43:18.880> world<00:43:19.599> goes<00:43:20.000> along<00:43:20.560> with<00:43:20.880> you.

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[music]