Ari Shaffir - JEW (2022) FULL SPECIAL
Comedian Ari Shaffir delivers an irreverent and deeply personal look at his Orthodox Jewish upbringing, dissecting biblical stories, complex laws, and the hilarious realities of growing up religious.
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Show notes
In this stand-up comedy special, Ari Shaffir reflects on his Orthodox Jewish upbringing, dissecting the stories, laws, and cultural nuances he was raised with. From studying at a Yeshiva in Jerusalem to transitioning into the secular world, Shaffir uses sharp humor to examine biblical tales like Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, and Passover, contrasting them with modern perspectives.
He dives deep into specific religious practices, explaining the complexities of kosher dietary laws, the ritual of Yom Kippur's sin chicken, and the hypothetical debates found within the Talmud. Shaffir also addresses common stereotypes, the differences between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews, and his personal journey of losing his faith.
Through a mix of storytelling and irreverent commentary, the special explores how ancient traditions shape identity and community, even for those who choose to leave them behind. Shaffir invites the audience to laugh at the absurdities of his own background while encouraging them to examine their own.
Key takeaways
- Ari Shaffir shares his personal experience growing up in Orthodox Judaism and studying at a Yeshiva in Jerusalem.
- The special humorously deconstructs major biblical stories, including Adam and Eve, Moses, and Noah's Ark.
- Shaffir explains unique Jewish traditions and laws, such as kosher dietary restrictions, Yom Kippur rituals, and Talmudic debates.
- He discusses the personal transition of losing his faith and leaving the Orthodox community to pursue comedy.
- The performance highlights how cultural identity persists even after moving away from religious practice.
Highlights
- 0:19 — Comparing the Torah to the original Ghostbusters
- 9:53 — Explaining why Hanukkah is a low-level holiday
- 41:16 — The Talmudic debate over ham in soup
- 54:38 — The childhood memory of the Yom Kippur chicken ritual
- 1:00:27 — The moment of losing faith over a reading light
- 1:15:56 — Reinterpreting the biblical meaning of the rainbow
00:00:00 Growing Up Orthodox Jewish
00:04:44 Rethinking Adam and Eve
00:09:34 The Real Story of Hanukkah
00:21:27 Women and Laws in Judaism
00:37:34 Hypothetical Scenarios in the Talmud
00:41:16 Kosher Laws and Soup Loopholes
00:54:02 Yom Kippur and the Sin Chicken
00:59:22 Losing Faith and Leaving Orthodox Judaism
01:09:19 Demon Babies and the Zohar
01:15:39 Noah's Ark and the RainbowWEBVTT
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you<00:04:26.440> guys<00:04:26.560> still<00:04:26.759> religious<00:04:27.400> now<00:04:28.400> no<00:04:28.800> okay<00:04:29.039> that's<00:04:29.199> good<00:04:29.360> if<00:04:29.440> you<00:04:29.520> are<00:04:29.759> religious<00:04:30.039> that's<00:04:30.199> totally<00:04:30.479> fine<00:04:30.680> it<00:04:30.759> is<00:04:30.919> totally<00:04:31.199> fine<00:04:31.639> there<00:04:31.800> is<00:04:31.960> a<00:04:32.199> solid<00:04:32.520> chance<00:04:32.800> you're<00:04:32.960> going
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life<00:04:38.800> so<00:04:39.320> those<00:04:39.479> of<00:04:39.560> you<00:04:39.720> raised<00:04:40.000> religious<00:04:40.759> uh<00:04:40.880> of<00:04:41.039> any<00:04:41.240> kind<00:04:41.440> do<00:04:41.520> you<00:04:41.600> ever<00:04:41.720> think<00:04:41.840> about<00:04:42.000> what<00:04:42.080> they<00:04:42.199> taught<00:04:42.400> you<00:04:42.479> when<00:04:42.600> you<00:04:42.680> were<00:04:42.840> little<00:04:43.199> now<00:04:43.320> that<00:04:43.440> you're<00:04:43.560> a<00:04:43.720> grownup
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guys<00:04:45.080> it's<00:04:45.320> all<00:04:45.680> darker<00:04:46.000> than<00:04:46.120> you<00:04:46.320> remember<00:04:46.680> it<00:04:47.639> it<00:04:47.840> really<00:04:48.160> is<00:04:48.840> I<00:04:48.919> mean<00:04:49.080> let's<00:04:49.320> let's<00:04:49.479> start<00:04:49.680> at<00:04:49.759> the<00:04:49.880> beginning<00:04:50.199> it's<00:04:50.320> the<00:04:50.400> only<00:04:50.560> way<00:04:50.639> to<00:04:50.759> do<00:04:51.520> this<00:04:52.520> Adam<00:04:52.759> and
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Eve<00:04:53.120> you<00:04:53.199> guys<00:04:53.320> know<00:04:53.479> that<00:04:53.720> story<00:04:54.720> okay<00:04:55.080> if<00:04:55.160> you<00:04:55.280> don't<00:04:55.400> know<00:04:55.600> that<00:04:55.720> story<00:04:55.960> this<00:04:56.080> is<00:04:56.199> all<00:04:56.440> going<00:04:56.560> to<00:04:56.680> go<00:04:56.880> over<00:04:57.080> your<00:04:57.240> head<00:04:57.400> tonight<00:04:59.840> here's<00:05:00.039> what<00:05:00.199> happened<00:05:00.479> in<00:05:00.639> six<00:05:00.880> days
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God<00:05:01.360> created<00:05:01.680> the<00:05:01.800> world<00:05:02.479> on<00:05:02.600> the<00:05:02.720> seventh<00:05:03.080> day<00:05:03.240> he<00:05:03.360> rested<00:05:03.800> you<00:05:03.919> guys<00:05:04.080> remember<00:05:04.400> this<00:05:04.520> one<00:05:05.400> uh<00:05:05.960> and<00:05:06.039> then<00:05:06.160> later<00:05:06.440> God<00:05:06.600> went<00:05:06.720> to<00:05:06.840> Adam<00:05:07.039> he's<00:05:07.160> like<00:05:07.320> Adam<00:05:07.600> how<00:05:07.720> do<00:05:07.800> you<00:05:07.880> like
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it<00:05:08.228> here<00:05:08.457> how<00:05:08.685> do<00:05:08.914> you<00:05:09.142> like<00:05:09.370> the<00:05:09.599> Garden<00:05:09.827> of<00:05:10.055> Eden<00:05:10.284> and<00:05:10.512> Adam's<00:05:10.741> like<00:05:10.969> oh<00:05:11.197> dude<00:05:11.426> I<00:05:11.654> love<00:05:11.883> it<00:05:12.111> it's<00:05:12.339> awesome<00:05:12.568> plenty<00:05:12.796> of<00:05:13.025> sunshine<00:05:13.253> tons<00:05:13.481> of<00:05:13.710> animals<00:05:13.938> to<00:05:14.166> [<00:05:14.395> __<00:05:14.623> ]<00:05:14.852> this<00:05:15.080> place
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sweet<00:05:24.067> and<00:05:24.293> guy<00:05:24.520> was<00:05:24.747> like<00:05:24.973> wait<00:05:25.200> bro<00:05:25.427> are<00:05:25.653> are<00:05:25.880> you<00:05:26.107> [<00:05:26.333> __<00:05:26.560> ]<00:05:26.787> all<00:05:27.013> the<00:05:27.240> animals
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and<00:05:31.120> Adam<00:05:31.360> was<00:05:31.479> like<00:05:31.639> not<00:05:31.840> all<00:05:32.360> yet<00:05:32.639> he<00:05:32.759> made<00:05:32.919> a<00:05:33.000> lot<00:05:33.120> of<00:05:34.840> animals<00:05:35.840> you<00:05:35.960> got<00:05:36.080> to<00:05:36.160> give<00:05:36.240> me<00:05:36.360> some<00:05:36.520> time<00:05:36.720> by<00:05:36.800> the<00:05:36.880> way<00:05:37.000> I<00:05:37.080> killed<00:05:37.280> a<00:05:37.400> frog<00:05:37.720> on<00:05:37.880> Tuesday<00:05:39.039> uh
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yeah<00:05:40.319> his<00:05:40.520> eyes<00:05:40.720> were<00:05:40.880> bigger<00:05:41.120> than<00:05:41.240> his
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belly<00:05:45.359> split<00:05:45.679> it<00:05:45.999> right<00:05:46.319> open<00:05:46.639> my<00:05:46.959> bad<00:05:47.279> on<00:05:47.599> that<00:05:47.919> one<00:05:48.239> and<00:05:48.559> God<00:05:48.879> was<00:05:49.199> like<00:05:49.519> [<00:05:49.839> __<00:05:50.159> ]<00:05:50.479> dude<00:05:50.799> stop<00:05:51.119> [<00:05:51.439> __<00:05:51.759> ]<00:05:52.079> the<00:05:52.399> animals<00:05:52.719> right<00:05:53.039> now
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and<00:05:54.259> so<00:05:54.479> Adam<00:05:54.699> was<00:05:54.919> like<00:05:55.139> who<00:05:55.359> should<00:05:55.579> I<00:05:55.799> [<00:05:56.019> __<00:05:56.239> ]<00:05:56.459> that<00:05:56.679> and<00:05:56.899> God's<00:05:57.119> like<00:05:57.339> yeah<00:05:57.559> good<00:05:57.779> question<00:05:57.999> fair<00:05:58.219> enough<00:05:58.439> he's<00:05:58.659> like<00:05:58.879> tell<00:05:59.099> you<00:05:59.319> what<00:05:59.539> I'll<00:05:59.759> make<00:05:59.979> another<00:06:00.199> person
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for<00:06:00.672> you<00:06:00.904> to<00:06:01.137> [<00:06:01.369> __<00:06:01.601> ]<00:06:01.833> humans<00:06:02.066> should<00:06:02.298> [<00:06:02.530> __<00:06:02.762> ]<00:06:02.994> humans<00:06:03.227> So<00:06:03.459> Adam<00:06:03.691> with<00:06:03.923> no<00:06:04.156> concept<00:06:04.388> of<00:06:04.620> women<00:06:04.852> right<00:06:05.085> there<00:06:05.317> had<00:06:05.549> never<00:06:05.781> been<00:06:06.013> a<00:06:06.246> woman<00:06:06.478> ever<00:06:06.710> in<00:06:06.942> history<00:06:07.175> before<00:06:07.407> so<00:06:07.639> when
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he<00:06:07.918> heard<00:06:08.116> another<00:06:08.314> person<00:06:08.512> was<00:06:08.710> coming<00:06:08.909> he<00:06:09.107> was<00:06:09.305> just<00:06:09.503> like<00:06:09.701> sweet<00:06:09.899> another<00:06:10.097> dude<00:06:10.295> I<00:06:10.493> can<00:06:10.691> [<00:06:10.890> __<00:06:11.088> ]<00:06:11.286> in<00:06:11.484> the<00:06:11.682> butt<00:06:11.880> I
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assume<00:06:21.880> and<00:06:22.080> God<00:06:22.360> was<00:06:22.520> like<00:06:22.759> no<00:06:23.280> you<00:06:23.599> assume<00:06:25.120> wrong<00:06:26.120> it'll<00:06:26.360> be<00:06:26.520> like<00:06:26.720> a<00:06:26.919> dude<00:06:27.479> but<00:06:27.599> it'll<00:06:27.840> have<00:06:28.039> like<00:06:28.160> a<00:06:29.160> like
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back<00:06:41.541> butt<00:06:42.002> God's<00:06:42.463> like<00:06:42.924> no<00:06:43.386> no<00:06:43.847> [<00:06:44.308> __<00:06:44.769> ]<00:06:45.230> back<00:06:45.691> butt<00:06:46.152> I<00:06:46.613> will<00:06:47.075> never<00:06:47.536> change<00:06:47.997> my<00:06:48.458> mind<00:06:48.919> on
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[<00:07:01.513> __<00:07:01.746> ]<00:07:01.979> we<00:07:02.212> piss<00:07:02.445> and<00:07:02.677> blood<00:07:02.910> sometimes<00:07:03.143> comes<00:07:03.376> out<00:07:03.609> but<00:07:03.842> not<00:07:04.075> [<00:07:04.308> __<00:07:04.541> ]<00:07:04.774> oh<00:07:05.007> made<00:07:05.240> Adam<00:07:05.472> so<00:07:05.705> angry<00:07:05.938> he's<00:07:06.171> like<00:07:06.404> why<00:07:06.637> would<00:07:06.870> you<00:07:07.103> make<00:07:07.336> [<00:07:07.569> __<00:07:07.802> ]<00:07:08.034> come<00:07:08.267> out<00:07:08.500> of<00:07:08.733> such<00:07:08.966> a<00:07:09.199> good
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it<00:07:35.960> what<00:07:36.160> was<00:07:36.280> the<00:07:36.400> time<00:07:36.639> crunch<00:07:36.919> on<00:07:37.039> that<00:07:37.199> I<00:07:37.319> never<00:07:37.560> understood<00:07:38.039> that<00:07:38.919> it's<00:07:39.080> an<00:07:39.280> important<00:07:39.759> project<00:07:40.160> take<00:07:40.319> your<00:07:41.120> time<00:07:42.120> there's<00:07:42.319> nobody<00:07:42.639> waiting<00:07:42.879> for<00:07:43.039> you
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there's<00:07:43.440> literally<00:07:43.960> nobody<00:07:44.520> waiting<00:07:44.800> for
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no<00:08:05.120> longer
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available<00:08:09.560> did<00:08:09.720> you<00:08:09.879> lose<00:08:10.199> Powers<00:08:11.879> dude<00:08:12.879> if<00:08:12.960> you're<00:08:13.159> tired<00:08:13.479> you<00:08:13.560> can<00:08:13.720> take<00:08:13.840> a<00:08:13.960> nap<00:08:14.240> that<00:08:14.400> zebra's<00:08:14.759> been<00:08:14.840> eyeballing<00:08:15.280> me<00:08:15.400> pretty<00:08:15.639> hard<00:08:15.879> I<00:08:16.039> got<00:08:16.639> time
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that's<00:08:31.159> the<00:08:31.280> reason<00:08:31.520> my<00:08:31.639> rabis<00:08:31.960> has<00:08:32.039> always<00:08:32.159> told<00:08:32.320> me<00:08:32.440> that's<00:08:32.560> the<00:08:32.640> reason<00:08:32.839> that<00:08:33.039> men<00:08:33.640> have<00:08:33.800> one<00:08:34.000> less<00:08:34.159> rib<00:08:34.399> than<00:08:34.519> women<00:08:34.800> have<00:08:35.440> like<00:08:35.599> dates<00:08:35.800> all<00:08:35.880> the<00:08:35.959> way<00:08:36.080> back<00:08:36.200> to<00:08:36.279> Adam
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and<00:08:36.640> Eve<00:08:37.360> yeah<00:08:38.360> then<00:08:38.519> I<00:08:38.640> grew<00:08:39.039> up<00:08:40.039> I<00:08:40.159> found<00:08:40.440> out<00:08:40.880> that<00:08:41.159> we<00:08:41.399> have<00:08:41.680> the<00:08:41.800> same<00:08:42.080> am<00:08:42.279> of
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ribs<00:08:46.320> there<00:08:46.519> just<00:08:46.640> a<00:08:46.760> lie<00:08:47.000> they<00:08:47.160> told<00:08:47.360> little<00:08:47.560> Jewish<00:08:47.920> kids<00:08:48.360> I<00:08:48.480> I<00:08:48.560> don't<00:08:48.680> even<00:08:48.839> know<00:08:48.959> what<00:08:49.080> they<00:08:49.160> had<00:08:49.279> to<00:08:50.839> gain<00:08:51.839> do<00:08:51.920> you<00:08:52.000> know<00:08:52.120> how<00:08:52.279> embarrassing<00:08:52.680> it<00:08:52.760> is<00:08:52.880> to<00:08:53.000> find<00:08:53.120> out<00:08:53.240> you're
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wrong<00:08:53.640> about<00:08:53.839> that<00:08:54.000> at<00:08:54.240> 41<00:08:54.880> years
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old<00:08:58.640> people<00:08:58.800> are<00:08:58.920> like<00:08:59.040> why<00:08:59.120> would<00:08:59.240> you<00:08:59.320> think<00:08:59.440> think<00:08:59.519> it's<00:08:59.640> been<00:08:59.760> a<00:08:59.839> different<00:09:00.040> amount<00:09:00.200> of<00:09:00.320> rib<00:09:00.600> I'm<00:09:00.680> like<00:09:00.839> I<00:09:00.880> don't<00:09:01.000> know<00:09:01.160> when<00:09:01.240> I<00:09:01.320> was<00:09:01.440> nine<00:09:01.680> some<00:09:01.800> guy<00:09:01.920> with<00:09:02.040> beard<00:09:02.320> dandruff
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told
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me<00:09:07.240> so<00:09:07.519> after<00:09:07.839> Adam<00:09:08.079> and<00:09:08.279> Eve<00:09:08.680> and<00:09:09.079> uh<00:09:09.519> Moses<00:09:09.959> and<00:09:10.160> Noah<00:09:10.519> a<00:09:10.560> few<00:09:10.760> other<00:09:11.120> you<00:09:11.200> know<00:09:11.440> Bible<00:09:11.680> stories<00:09:12.000> that<00:09:12.120> Jews<00:09:12.320> and<00:09:12.440> Christians<00:09:12.800> kind<00:09:12.880> of<00:09:13.000> share<00:09:13.480> you<00:09:13.560> know<00:09:13.720> at<00:09:13.880> that<00:09:14.040> point
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kind<00:09:14.959> of<00:09:15.079> split<00:09:15.600> off<00:09:16.600> well<00:09:16.800> no<00:09:16.959> we<00:09:17.040> stayed<00:09:17.320> right<00:09:17.480> where<00:09:17.560> we<00:09:17.720> were<00:09:18.000> you<00:09:18.160> split<00:09:19.519> off<00:09:20.519> you<00:09:20.640> guys<00:09:20.800> wrote<00:09:21.000> an<00:09:21.120> unauthorized<00:09:23.320> Sequel
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and<00:09:26.000> fanfiction<00:09:27.000> that<00:09:27.160> just<00:09:27.279> you<00:09:27.440> added<00:09:27.720> a<00:09:27.920> superhero<00:09:28.600> out<00:09:28.720> of<00:09:28.880> nowhere<00:09:31.160> with<00:09:31.279> all<00:09:31.440> these<00:09:32.279> Miracles<00:09:33.279> you
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got<00:09:33.614> to<00:09:33.830> speed<00:09:34.045> on<00:09:34.261> Miracles<00:09:34.476> I'll<00:09:34.692> give<00:09:34.907> you<00:09:35.123> that<00:09:35.338> you<00:09:35.554> got<00:09:35.769> to<00:09:35.985> speed<00:09:36.200> on<00:09:36.416> Miracles<00:09:36.631> we<00:09:36.847> Crush<00:09:37.062> you<00:09:37.278> [<00:09:37.493> __<00:09:37.709> ]<00:09:37.924> on<00:09:38.140> holidays<00:09:38.355> we<00:09:38.571> got<00:09:38.786> a<00:09:39.002> lot<00:09:39.217> of<00:09:39.433> holid<00:09:39.648> what's<00:09:39.864> the<00:09:40.079> biggest
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Jewish<00:09:40.715> holiday<00:09:41.151> what<00:09:41.587> do<00:09:42.022> you<00:09:42.458> think<00:09:42.894> hanuk<00:09:43.330> very<00:09:43.766> good<00:09:44.202> [<00:09:44.637> __<00:09:45.073> ]<00:09:45.509> idiot<00:09:45.945> stupid<00:09:46.381> raw<00:09:46.817> raw<00:09:47.252> dumb<00:09:47.688> [<00:09:48.124> __<00:09:48.560> ]
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dumb<00:09:49.440> like<00:09:49.600> all<00:09:49.760> of<00:09:49.920> them
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[<00:09:53.361> __<00:09:53.603> ]<00:09:53.844> people<00:09:54.086> think<00:09:54.327> it's<00:09:54.568> Hana<00:09:54.810> cuz<00:09:55.051> it<00:09:55.292> falls<00:09:55.534> around<00:09:55.775> Christmas<00:09:56.017> and<00:09:56.258> we<00:09:56.499> do<00:09:56.741> presents<00:09:56.982> and<00:09:57.223> stuff<00:09:57.465> just<00:09:57.706> so<00:09:57.948> you<00:09:58.189> guys<00:09:58.430> know<00:09:58.672> it's<00:09:58.913> one<00:09:59.154> of<00:09:59.396> our<00:09:59.637> lowest<00:09:59.879> level<00:10:00.120> holidays
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Kan<00:10:01.519> is<00:10:01.600> not<00:10:01.680> even<00:10:01.880> our<00:10:02.079> Top<00:10:03.640> 40<00:10:04.640> for<00:10:04.839> real<00:10:05.040> it's<00:10:05.160> on<00:10:05.279> the<00:10:05.440> level<00:10:05.640> of<00:10:05.839> like<00:10:06.240> Arbor<00:10:06.760> Day<00:10:06.959> for<00:10:07.120> your
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people<00:10:11.440> it<00:10:11.560> just<00:10:11.720> feels<00:10:12.079> big<00:10:12.320> because<00:10:12.440> it<00:10:12.519> falls<00:10:12.760> around<00:10:12.959> that<00:10:13.120> time<00:10:13.480> Presence<00:10:14.000> by<00:10:14.120> the<00:10:14.240> way<00:10:14.360> is<00:10:14.480> not<00:10:14.640> even<00:10:14.800> really<00:10:15.040> part<00:10:15.200> of<00:10:15.640> Hanukah<00:10:16.640> that's<00:10:16.880> us<00:10:17.160> copying<00:10:18.959> you
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presence<00:10:20.240> on<00:10:20.399> kanuka<00:10:20.760> is<00:10:20.839> a<00:10:20.959> modern<00:10:21.320> Western<00:10:21.760> Civilization<00:10:22.399> part<00:10:22.560> of<00:10:22.680> the<00:10:22.800> holiday<00:10:23.120> my<00:10:23.360> dad<00:10:23.519> grew<00:10:23.680> up<00:10:23.800> in<00:10:23.920> Romania<00:10:24.360> before<00:10:24.560> the<00:10:24.680> Holocaust<00:10:25.120> they<00:10:25.200> didn't<00:10:25.360> do<00:10:25.480> presents
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back<00:10:26.079> then<00:10:26.839> that's<00:10:27.040> here<00:10:27.160> in<00:10:27.320> America<00:10:27.760> and<00:10:27.920> England<00:10:28.320> it's<00:10:28.440> all<00:10:28.600> these<00:10:28.760> Jewish<00:10:29.040> kids<00:10:29.360> they<00:10:29.440> saw<00:10:29.600> their<00:10:29.760> Christian<00:10:30.040> friends<00:10:30.360> getting<00:10:30.640> presents<00:10:31.640> and<00:10:31.760> they<00:10:31.880> wanted<00:10:33.680> in
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yeah<00:10:34.880> and<00:10:35.080> when<00:10:35.280> je<00:10:35.480> kids<00:10:35.680> want<00:10:35.880> free<00:10:36.079> [<00:10:36.279> __<00:10:36.479> ]<00:10:36.679> you<00:10:36.879> kids<00:10:37.079> get<00:10:37.279> free
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[<00:10:41.664> __<00:10:41.889> ]<00:10:42.113> so<00:10:42.337> they<00:10:42.562> went<00:10:42.786> to<00:10:43.010> their<00:10:43.235> dad<00:10:43.459> like<00:10:43.683> Dad<00:10:43.908> how<00:10:44.132> come<00:10:44.357> Christopher<00:10:44.581> gets<00:10:44.805> presents<00:10:45.030> and<00:10:45.254> I<00:10:45.478> don't<00:10:45.703> get<00:10:45.927> presents<00:10:46.151> and<00:10:46.376> their<00:10:46.600> fathers
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days<00:11:02.639> of<00:11:02.839> presents<00:11:03.200> it's<00:11:03.320> an8<00:11:03.600> Day<00:11:03.760> holiday<00:11:04.320> oh<00:11:04.560> some<00:11:04.680> people<00:11:04.880> think<00:11:05.000> it's<00:11:05.160> eight<00:11:05.360> times<00:11:05.560> the<00:11:05.720> presents<00:11:06.040> you<00:11:06.160> guys<00:11:06.320> get<00:11:06.560> it's<00:11:06.720> not<00:11:07.040> we<00:11:07.120> have<00:11:07.279> the<00:11:07.360> same<00:11:07.480> amount<00:11:07.600> of<00:11:07.680> parents
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you<00:11:08.200> have<00:11:09.200> you<00:11:09.279> know<00:11:09.440> we<00:11:09.560> got<00:11:09.639> the<00:11:09.720> same<00:11:09.839> amount<00:11:10.160> we<00:11:10.240> just<00:11:10.360> space<00:11:10.600> him<00:11:10.760> out<00:11:10.959> over<00:11:11.200> eight<00:11:11.480> days<00:11:12.480> we<00:11:12.639> get<00:11:13.519> better<00:11:13.880> presents<00:11:14.200> than<00:11:14.399> you<00:11:15.399> you<00:11:15.519> know<00:11:15.800> cuz<00:11:15.959> we're
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far<00:11:16.399> richer<00:11:16.760> than<00:11:16.880> you<00:11:18.040> are<00:11:19.040> I<00:11:19.120> don't<00:11:19.240> know<00:11:19.360> what<00:11:19.440> kind<00:11:19.560> of<00:11:19.720> white<00:11:19.880> trash<00:11:20.200> presents<00:11:20.519> you<00:11:20.720> always<00:11:21.399> got<00:11:22.399> see<00:11:22.680> we<00:11:22.800> got<00:11:22.920> like<00:11:23.000> a<00:11:23.079> Grill<00:11:23.320> chees<00:11:23.639> sandwich<00:11:24.000> wrapped<00:11:24.240> in
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handwriting<00:11:41.600> but<00:11:42.399> yeah<00:11:43.399> same<00:11:43.720> amount<00:11:43.959> of<00:11:44.079> present<00:11:44.519> though<00:11:45.360> supposed<00:11:45.560> to<00:11:45.720> get<00:11:45.920> you're<00:11:46.040> supposed<00:11:46.240> to<00:11:46.360> get<00:11:46.480> one<00:11:46.639> present<00:11:46.959> a<00:11:47.120> day<00:11:47.240> for<00:11:47.360> eight<00:11:47.600> days<00:11:47.880> and<00:11:47.959> then<00:11:48.040> if<00:11:48.120> you<00:11:48.200> have
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like<00:11:48.440> nine<00:11:48.560> or<00:11:48.680> 10<00:11:48.839> presents<00:11:49.120> you<00:11:49.200> just<00:11:49.360> double<00:11:49.600> up<00:11:49.760> a<00:11:49.880> day<00:11:50.000> or<00:11:50.160> two<00:11:51.120> uh<00:11:51.519> so<00:11:51.839> one<00:11:52.040> year<00:11:52.480> I<00:11:52.560> didn't<00:11:52.680> have<00:11:52.800> eight<00:11:52.959> presents<00:11:53.279> I<00:11:53.360> only<00:11:53.480> had<00:11:53.600> seven<00:11:53.839> presents<00:11:54.240> my<00:11:54.360> mom<00:11:54.519> didn't
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know<00:11:54.937> what<00:11:55.155> to<00:11:55.372> do<00:11:55.589> to<00:11:55.807> get<00:11:56.024> me<00:11:56.241> to<00:11:56.459> get<00:11:56.676> me<00:11:56.893> every<00:11:57.111> day<00:11:57.328> a<00:11:57.545> present<00:11:57.763> instead<00:11:57.980> of<00:11:58.197> just<00:11:58.415> W<00:11:58.632> getting<00:11:58.849> one<00:11:59.067> extra<00:11:59.284> present<00:11:59.501> you<00:11:59.719> know<00:11:59.936> some<00:12:00.153> [<00:12:00.371> __<00:12:00.588> ]<00:12:00.805> like<00:12:01.023> raping<00:12:01.240> avocado
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you<00:12:01.920> dumb
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was<00:12:12.959> like<00:12:13.639> oh<00:12:14.160> it's<00:12:14.440> skateboard<00:12:15.199> wheels
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I'm<00:12:27.839> the<00:12:27.959> second<00:12:28.240> smartest<00:12:28.560> RAC<00:12:28.839> in<00:12:28.920> the<00:12:29.000> world<00:12:29.480> and<00:12:29.600> this<00:12:29.680> is<00:12:29.839> very<00:12:30.000> easy<00:12:30.199> to<00:12:30.320> figure<00:12:30.560> out<00:12:30.720> as<00:12:30.880> it
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is
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Korea<00:12:45.160> here's<00:12:45.320> a<00:12:45.440> story<00:12:45.680> of<00:12:45.839> Hanukah<00:12:46.360> I'll<00:12:46.480> tell<00:12:46.639> it<00:12:46.760> to<00:12:46.880> you<00:12:47.079> so<00:12:47.320> uh<00:12:47.440> you<00:12:47.519> can<00:12:47.639> talk<00:12:47.800> about<00:12:47.959> this<00:12:48.120> in<00:12:48.279> December<00:12:48.639> with<00:12:48.760> your<00:12:49.160> uh<00:12:49.519> bosses<00:12:50.040> probably<00:12:50.440> at<00:12:50.600> work
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race<00:13:04.113> in<00:13:04.466> the<00:13:04.819> world<00:13:05.172> anybody<00:13:05.525> wanted<00:13:05.878> Israel<00:13:06.231> just<00:13:06.584> [<00:13:06.937> __<00:13:07.290> ]<00:13:07.643> took<00:13:07.997> it<00:13:08.350> for<00:13:08.703> real<00:13:09.056> Greeks<00:13:09.409> Romans<00:13:09.762> people<00:13:10.115> from<00:13:10.468> Alabama<00:13:10.821> like<00:13:11.174> it<00:13:11.527> doesn't<00:13:11.880> matter
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g<00:13:22.920> here's<00:13:23.079> what<00:13:23.240> I<00:13:23.320> don't<00:13:23.399> really<00:13:23.519> do<00:13:23.720> Impressions<00:13:24.120> here's<00:13:24.279> my<00:13:24.399> only<00:13:24.560> impression<00:13:24.920> I<00:13:25.040> do<00:13:25.279> it's<00:13:25.360> a<00:13:25.519> sound<00:13:25.720> of<00:13:25.920> the<00:13:26.079> soul<00:13:26.519> of<00:13:26.639> a<00:13:26.800> Jew<00:13:27.519> ready
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yeah<00:13:38.600> all<00:13:38.760> our<00:13:38.959> stories<00:13:39.279> are<00:13:39.440> about<00:13:39.680> survival<00:13:40.240> they're<00:13:40.399> never<00:13:40.600> about<00:13:41.920> succeeding<00:13:42.920> nobody's<00:13:43.240> ever<00:13:43.399> like<00:13:43.560> watch<00:13:43.720> out<00:13:43.880> the<00:13:43.959> Jews<00:13:44.199> are<00:13:44.800> coming
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like<00:13:50.360> yeah<00:13:50.639> ah<00:13:50.839> Palestinians<00:13:51.440> we<00:13:51.560> got<00:13:51.759> them<00:13:52.040> all<00:13:52.160> right<00:13:52.399> we<00:13:52.759> yeah<00:13:53.759> we<00:13:53.880> broke<00:13:54.120> our<00:13:54.240> losing<00:13:54.519> streak<00:13:54.800> on<00:13:54.959> that<00:13:55.160> for<00:13:55.320> sure
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dude<00:14:00.199> I<00:14:00.320> saw<00:14:00.560> this<00:14:00.800> uh<00:14:00.920> I<00:14:01.000> saw<00:14:01.240> this<00:14:01.560> um<00:14:02.079> free<00:14:02.399> Palestine<00:14:02.800> March<00:14:03.120> last<00:14:03.279> summer<00:14:03.680> in<00:14:03.839> New<00:14:04.040> York<00:14:04.920> uh<00:14:05.320> and<00:14:05.440> they<00:14:05.519> were<00:14:05.639> all<00:14:05.759> like<00:14:05.880> marching<00:14:06.160> they<00:14:06.320> a<00:14:06.440> big<00:14:06.639> free<00:14:06.880> Palestine<00:14:07.360> sign
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but<00:14:07.880> the<00:14:08.040> Palestine<00:14:08.480> part<00:14:08.639> was<00:14:08.800> covered<00:14:09.120> people<00:14:09.279> were<00:14:09.600> like<00:14:09.720> in<00:14:09.839> front<00:14:10.040> of<00:14:10.120> it<00:14:10.240> so<00:14:10.360> it<00:14:10.440> was<00:14:10.519> covered<00:14:10.800> so<00:14:10.880> I<00:14:10.959> couldn't<00:14:11.160> see<00:14:11.399> that<00:14:11.560> part<00:14:12.120> so<00:14:12.279> I<00:14:12.360> just<00:14:12.440> saw<00:14:12.639> the<00:14:12.759> first<00:14:13.040> half
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food<00:14:39.240> they're<00:14:39.399> all<00:14:39.560> like<00:14:39.680> there<00:14:39.800> is<00:14:39.920> no<00:14:40.079> little<00:14:40.720> Palestine<00:14:41.720> and<00:14:41.800> if<00:14:41.880> you<00:14:42.000> ask<00:14:42.199> Jews<00:14:42.480> there's<00:14:42.720> also<00:14:42.959> no<00:14:43.160> big
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Palestine<00:14:52.920> yeah<00:14:53.120> so<00:14:53.279> it's<00:14:53.440> the<00:14:53.560> Greeks<00:14:54.040> the<00:14:54.120> Greeks<00:14:54.440> drove<00:14:54.680> us<00:14:54.800> out<00:14:55.440> for<00:14:55.639> the<00:14:55.720> khuk<00:14:56.120> story<00:14:56.360> we<00:14:56.440> were<00:14:56.519> gone<00:14:56.680> for<00:14:56.800> about<00:14:57.079> 100<00:14:57.320> years<00:14:57.680> then<00:14:57.800> we<00:14:57.920> came<00:14:58.120> back<00:14:58.279> they<00:14:58.399> left<00:14:58.639> they
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it<00:15:28.600> up<00:15:29.040> let's<00:15:29.199> see<00:15:29.360> what<00:15:30.079> happens<00:15:31.079> and<00:15:31.360> somehow<00:15:32.040> one<00:15:32.319> day's<00:15:32.519> worth<00:15:32.720> of<00:15:32.839> oil<00:15:33.279> lasted<00:15:33.759> for<00:15:34.079> eight<00:15:34.600> days<00:15:35.560> and<00:15:35.839> that<00:15:36.360> is<00:15:36.480> when
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you<00:15:52.680> Christians<00:15:53.319> man<00:15:53.639> your<00:15:53.800> miracles<00:15:54.160> are<00:15:54.319> the<00:15:54.519> tits<00:15:54.880> you<00:15:55.000> guys<00:15:55.199> got<00:15:55.480> great<00:15:57.160> miracles<00:15:58.160> God<00:15:58.440> when<00:15:58.560> I<00:15:58.639> start<00:15:59.000> when<00:15:59.120> I<00:15:59.319> so<00:15:59.519> I<00:15:59.600> left<00:15:59.800> my<00:15:59.920> religion<00:16:00.319> I<00:16:00.480> I
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some<00:16:25.700> splashback<00:16:26.121> on<00:16:26.542> the<00:16:26.963> sandal<00:16:27.384> but<00:16:27.805> I<00:16:28.226> don't<00:16:28.647> think<00:16:29.068> Jesus<00:16:29.490> was<00:16:29.911> waterproof<00:16:30.332> you<00:16:30.753> know<00:16:31.174> if<00:16:31.595> he<00:16:32.016> dragged<00:16:32.437> his<00:16:32.858> foot<00:16:33.279> yeah
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going<00:17:47.120> one<00:17:47.280> more<00:17:47.480> day<00:17:47.679> that's<00:17:47.799> a<00:17:47.960> [expletive]<00:17:48.200> miracle<00:17:48.640> I<00:17:48.720> swear<00:17:48.960> to<00:17:49.120> God<00:17:49.240> that's<00:17:49.360> a<00:17:49.480> miracle<00:17:49.880> one<00:17:50.000> more<00:17:50.240> day<00:17:50.440> that's<00:17:50.600> a<00:17:50.720> one<00:17:50.919> day
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candle<00:17:55.159> Jesus<00:17:55.600> just<00:17:55.760> like<00:17:56.000> rise<00:17:56.799> and<00:17:56.880> you're<00:17:57.080> like<00:17:57.360> what<00:17:57.559> the<00:17:57.919> [expletive]
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I<00:18:01.600> believe<00:18:01.840> if<00:18:02.000> Jesus<00:18:02.280> came<00:18:02.440> back<00:18:02.640> now<00:18:03.039> he<00:18:03.159> would<00:18:03.320> turn<00:18:03.559> sand<00:18:03.960> into
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around<00:18:15.159> you<00:18:15.240> can't<00:18:15.400> just<00:18:15.520> do<00:18:15.679> whatever<00:18:16.320> where<00:18:16.520> where'd<00:18:16.720> you<00:18:16.840> get<00:18:17.000> this<00:18:17.200> from<00:18:17.440> like<00:18:17.720> from<00:18:18.000> Jesus<00:18:18.360> Christ<00:18:18.640> the<00:18:18.799> Lord<00:18:18.960> and
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savior<00:18:24.039> yeah<00:18:24.600> how<00:18:24.760> good<00:18:24.880> would<00:18:25.080> communion<00:18:25.520> be<00:18:25.720> if<00:18:25.840> you<00:18:25.960> were<00:18:26.120> hitting<00:18:26.320> you<00:18:26.440> with<00:18:26.559> a<00:18:26.720> [expletive]<00:18:27.000> Molly<00:18:27.760> tab<00:18:28.840> like<00:18:29.000> move
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move<00:18:33.760> God<00:18:34.760> by<00:18:34.919> the<00:18:35.039> end<00:18:35.159> of<00:18:35.280> the<00:18:35.360> sermon<00:18:35.760> you'd<00:18:35.880> be<00:18:36.000> like<00:18:36.159> this<00:18:36.320> guy<00:18:36.520> cares<00:18:36.960> about
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us<00:18:41.640> yeah<00:18:41.840> Hanukkah<00:18:42.240> is<00:18:42.320> not<00:18:42.400> our<00:18:42.559> biggest<00:18:42.840> holiday<00:18:43.440> and<00:18:43.600> it's<00:18:43.720> not<00:18:43.919> Black<00:18:44.120> Friday<00:18:44.440> I<00:18:44.559> heard<00:18:44.760> that<00:18:44.919> too
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uh<00:18:48.840> yeah<00:18:49.520> um<00:18:49.840> Passover<00:18:50.520> you're<00:18:50.679> not<00:18:50.960> it<00:18:51.080> is<00:18:51.200> a<00:18:51.280> big<00:18:51.480> holiday<00:18:51.760> but<00:18:51.880> it's<00:18:51.960> not<00:18:52.080> our<00:18:52.240> biggest<00:18:52.760> one<00:18:53.760> uh<00:18:54.039> Passover<00:18:54.440> commemorates<00:18:54.960> when<00:18:55.080> the<00:18:55.240> when<00:18:55.320> the<00:18:55.400> Jews<00:18:55.679> left<00:18:55.880> Egypt
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we're<00:18:56.320> slaves<00:18:56.600> in<00:18:56.760> Egypt<00:18:57.039> I<00:18:57.080> don't<00:18:57.159> know<00:18:57.200> if<00:18:57.280> you<00:18:57.360> guys<00:18:57.480> knew<00:18:57.640> about<00:18:57.919> that<00:18:59.240> we<00:19:00.000> recovered<00:19:01.000> uh<00:19:01.799> what<00:19:01.919> a<00:19:02.120> fun<00:19:02.400> story<00:19:02.760> that<00:19:03.039> is<00:19:04.039> here's<00:19:04.240> the
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we'll<00:19:31.559> put<00:19:31.720> in<00:19:31.840> a<00:19:31.960> little<00:19:32.880> basket<00:19:33.880> and<00:19:34.000> we'll<00:19:34.159> throw<00:19:34.360> it<00:19:34.440> into<00:19:34.600> the<00:19:34.760> crocodile<00:19:35.360> infested<00:19:35.880> Nile<00:19:36.600> River<00:19:37.600> and<00:19:37.760> hope<00:19:38.039> for<00:19:38.200> the<00:19:38.559> best<00:19:39.559> and
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pharaoh's<00:19:48.520> daughter<00:19:49.320> the<00:19:49.480> pharaoh's<00:19:49.880> daughter<00:19:50.120> the<00:19:50.200> king's<00:19:50.600> was<00:19:50.679> like<00:19:50.880> I<00:19:51.000> love<00:19:51.280> you<00:19:51.360> know<00:19:51.559> chicks<00:19:51.799> are<00:19:51.960> around<00:19:52.159> babies<00:19:52.480> she<00:19:52.600> like<00:19:52.840> I<00:19:53.000> love<00:19:53.200> a<00:19:53.520> baby<00:19:54.520> oh<00:19:54.720> I<00:19:54.880> want<00:19:55.039> a<00:19:55.640> baby
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coincidence<00:20:05.440> on<00:20:07.320> that<00:20:08.320> eventually<00:20:08.679> he<00:20:08.760> was<00:20:08.880> 19<00:20:09.240> 20<00:20:09.440> years<00:20:09.559> old<00:20:09.720> went<00:20:09.880> to<00:20:09.960> his<00:20:10.120> grandfather<00:20:10.520> the<00:20:10.640> Pharaoh<00:20:11.080> the<00:20:11.200> king<00:20:11.400> and<00:20:11.440> he<00:20:11.520> was<00:20:11.640> like<00:20:11.799> hey<00:20:11.919> [expletive]<00:20:12.520> I<00:20:12.600> got<00:20:12.799> news<00:20:13.039> for
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do<00:20:22.039> that<00:20:23.039> plus<00:20:23.280> you're<00:20:23.440> balding<00:20:23.880> with<00:20:24.120> glasses<00:20:25.640> so<00:20:26.640> I<00:20:26.760> think<00:20:27.080> you<00:20:27.200> came<00:20:27.360> from<00:20:27.520> slave<00:20:27.880> island<00:20:28.240> over<00:20:28.440> there
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that's<00:20:31.640> my<00:20:31.799> favorite<00:20:32.039> part<00:20:32.159> of<00:20:32.280> the<00:20:32.400> story<00:20:33.039> the<00:20:33.159> Jews<00:20:33.440> were<00:20:33.720> slaves<00:20:34.200> in<00:20:34.360> Egypt<00:20:34.720> Egypt<00:20:35.000> was<00:20:35.080> a<00:20:35.240> superpower<00:20:36.120> and<00:20:36.240> their<00:20:36.400> labor<00:20:36.840> force<00:20:37.320> their<00:20:37.600> manual<00:20:38.120> labor<00:20:38.559> force<00:20:39.559> was
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the<00:20:40.039> weakest<00:20:40.640> most<00:20:40.960> complaining<00:20:41.559> people<00:20:41.919> in<00:20:42.039> the<00:20:43.600> world<00:20:44.600> I<00:20:44.720> mean<00:20:45.039> there's<00:20:45.280> nobody<00:20:45.720> softer<00:20:46.200> than<00:20:47.320> Jews<00:20:48.320> I
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think<00:20:48.559> the<00:20:48.720> pyramid's<00:20:49.159> supposed<00:20:49.360> to<00:20:49.440> be<00:20:49.559> houses<00:20:49.880> and<00:20:50.000> the<00:20:50.080> Jews<00:20:50.360> like<00:20:50.520> it's<00:20:50.679> too<00:20:51.000> hot<00:20:51.400> just<00:20:51.640> pile<00:20:51.919> it
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up<00:20:56.880> what<00:20:57.039> a<00:20:57.320> terrible<00:20:57.799> terrible<00:20:58.120> choice<00:20:58.360> for<00:20:59.600> slave<00:21:00.600> and<00:21:00.760> by<00:21:00.880> the<00:21:00.960> way<00:21:01.159> Egypt<00:21:01.520> is<00:21:01.640> in<00:21:01.880> Africa<00:21:02.440> like<00:21:03.120> there's<00:21:03.720> better<00:21:04.159> options
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out
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did<00:21:47.440> not<00:21:47.600> make<00:21:47.799> any<00:21:48.039> of<00:21:48.240> this<00:21:49.200> up<00:21:50.200> it's<00:21:50.360> better<00:21:50.600> than<00:21:50.720> a<00:21:50.799> lot<00:21:50.919> of<00:21:51.000> religions<00:21:51.360> like<00:21:51.480> you<00:21:51.559> can't<00:21:51.720> beat<00:21:51.919> your<00:21:52.080> wife<00:21:52.279> in<00:21:52.400> Judaism<00:21:53.000> but<00:21:53.080> if<00:21:53.200> you<00:21:53.279> do<00:21:53.480> beat<00:21:53.679> your<00:21:53.840> wife<00:21:54.080> they'll<00:21:54.240> be
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on<00:22:21.919> your<00:22:22.159> period<00:22:23.080> you<00:22:23.440> considered<00:22:25.000> unclean<00:22:26.000> yeah<00:22:26.320> which<00:22:26.840> that's<00:22:27.320> actually
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unclean<00:22:45.080> vaginas<00:22:46.080> and<00:22:46.159> then<00:22:46.279> I<00:22:46.360> handed<00:22:46.720> each<00:22:46.880> of<00:22:47.000> you<00:22:47.240> a<00:22:47.360> bleeding<00:22:48.159> vagina<00:22:49.159> and<00:22:49.440> I<00:22:49.559> said<00:22:50.039> put<00:22:50.279> that
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tell<00:26:40.789> you<00:26:41.058> where<00:26:41.328> it<00:26:41.597> comes<00:26:41.866> from<00:26:42.135> Jews<00:26:42.405> have<00:26:42.674> this<00:26:42.943> like<00:26:43.212> sort<00:26:43.482> of<00:26:43.751> prayer<00:26:44.020> poncho<00:26:44.289> thing<00:26:44.558> called<00:26:44.828> tzitzit<00:26:45.097> it<00:26:45.366> goes<00:26:45.635> under<00:26:45.905> it's<00:26:46.174> like<00:26:46.443> a<00:26:46.712> t-shirt<00:26:46.982> but<00:26:47.251> it's<00:26:47.520> like
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have<00:31:14.559> Catholic<00:31:14.880> friends<00:31:15.080> they<00:31:15.200> get<00:31:15.360> mad<00:31:15.559> at<00:31:15.679> me<00:31:15.799> about<00:31:15.960> it<00:31:16.320> but<00:31:16.799> [fuck]<00:31:18.000> off<00:31:19.000> my<00:31:19.120> buddy<00:31:19.480> Steve<00:31:20.480> uh<00:31:20.600> he's<00:31:20.840> Catholic<00:31:21.159> he's<00:31:21.279> a<00:31:21.399> comic<00:31:21.799> and<00:31:22.120> uh<00:31:22.480> I
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made<00:31:22.679> a<00:31:22.840> Catholic<00:31:23.080> joke<00:31:23.320> once<00:31:23.480> and<00:31:23.600> he<00:31:23.720> got<00:31:23.880> I<00:31:23.960> got<00:31:24.080> off<00:31:24.240> stage<00:31:24.480> and<00:31:24.559> he<00:31:24.639> just<00:31:24.880> he<00:31:25.000> was<00:31:25.120> he<00:31:25.240> had<00:31:25.440> enough<00:31:25.639> of<00:31:25.760> it<00:31:26.360> you<00:31:26.519> know<00:31:26.760> so<00:31:26.880> I<00:31:26.960> got<00:31:27.080> off<00:31:27.240> stage<00:31:27.399> and<00:31:27.480> he<00:31:27.559> was<00:31:27.679> like<00:31:27.919> Ari<00:31:28.320> what
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she<00:39:54.160> goes<00:39:54.319> I<00:39:54.400> started<00:39:54.599> my<00:39:54.760> period<00:39:55.040> you're<00:39:55.160> supposed<00:39:55.440> to<00:39:56.119> stop<00:39:57.119> look<00:39:57.680> up<00:39:58.680> think<00:39:58.920> of<00:39:59.160> the<00:39:59.359> glory<00:39:59.839> and<00:40:00.079> awe<00:40:00.599> of
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God<00:40:05.440> until<00:40:05.760> your<00:40:06.000> manhood
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subsides<00:40:10.319> yeah<00:40:10.480> you<00:40:10.560> have<00:40:10.680> to<00:40:10.800> let<00:40:10.920> your<00:40:11.119> dick<00:40:11.440> exit<00:40:11.760> of<00:40:12.000> natural<00:40:14.119> causes<00:40:15.119> oh<00:40:15.319> what<00:40:15.440> a<00:40:15.560> fun<00:40:15.760> bonding<00:40:16.160> moment<00:40:16.400> for<00:40:16.520> you<00:40:16.640> and<00:40:16.800> your<00:40:17.200> wife<00:40:18.200> for
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her<00:40:24.040> and<00:40:24.160> how<00:40:24.319> confusing<00:40:24.680> from<00:40:25.040> Dick's<00:40:25.280> point<00:40:25.440> of<00:40:25.560> view<00:40:25.800> were<00:40:25.880> you<00:40:26.000> just<00:40:26.160> plugging<00:40:26.560> away<00:40:26.880> you<00:40:27.000> know<00:40:27.319> just<00:40:27.520> like<00:40:28.560> this<00:40:29.560> and<00:40:29.680> then<00:40:29.839> all<00:40:29.960> of<00:40:30.079> a<00:40:30.200> sudden<00:40:30.560> just<00:40:30.720> like
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stops
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hello<00:40:40.560> hello<00:40:41.040> little<00:40:41.240> movement<00:40:43.280> please<00:40:44.280> a<00:40:44.440> little<00:40:44.599> movement<00:40:45.040> here<00:40:45.640> also<00:40:46.280> definitely<00:40:46.599> stop<00:40:46.839> thinking<00:40:47.079> about<00:40:47.359> God<00:40:47.920> that's
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weird<00:40:48.720> that's<00:40:48.880> not<00:40:49.040> my<00:40:49.200> thing<00:40:49.359> at<00:40:51.760> all<00:40:52.760> all<00:40:53.000> right<00:40:54.520> well<00:40:55.520> probably<00:40:55.720> going<00:40:55.839> to<00:40:55.920> get<00:40:56.040> out<00:40:56.160> of
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here<00:40:56.520> then
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[Applause]
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here's<00:41:16.760> my<00:41:16.920> favorite<00:41:17.240> here's<00:41:17.400> my<00:41:17.520> all-time<00:41:17.839> favorite<00:41:18.119> what<00:41:18.280> if<00:41:18.480> from<00:41:18.599> the<00:41:18.680> Talmud<00:41:19.560> uh<00:41:19.839> it's<00:41:20.000> about<00:41:20.480> it's<00:41:20.640> about<00:41:20.880> dietary<00:41:21.400> laws<00:41:21.680> we<00:41:21.800> have<00:41:21.960> kosher<00:41:22.280> you<00:41:22.359> guys<00:41:22.480> have<00:41:22.599> heard
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that<00:41:22.920> word<00:41:23.200> right<00:41:23.400> kosher<00:41:23.960> yeah<00:41:24.839> um<00:41:25.359> certain<00:41:25.640> things<00:41:25.800> we<00:41:25.960> can<00:41:26.119> and<00:41:26.280> can't<00:41:26.480> eat<00:41:26.839> and<00:41:26.960> that's<00:41:27.359> called<00:41:27.560> kosher<00:41:28.000> uh<00:41:28.200> uh<00:41:28.319> Muslims<00:41:28.760> have<00:41:29.200> Halal<00:41:30.200> Christians<00:41:30.800> just
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go<00:41:31.280> buck<00:41:33.480> wild<00:41:34.480> so<00:41:34.680> you<00:41:34.839> can't<00:41:35.000> mix<00:41:35.280> meat<00:41:35.480> and<00:41:35.599> milk<00:41:36.040> not<00:41:36.200> allowed<00:41:36.359> to<00:41:36.440> mix<00:41:36.640> meat<00:41:36.800> and<00:41:36.920> milk<00:41:37.319> the<00:41:37.440> reason<00:41:37.680> for<00:41:37.880> that<00:41:38.040> is<00:41:38.359> God<00:41:38.520> is<00:41:38.640> a<00:41:39.520> [fucker]
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can't<00:41:40.680> even<00:41:40.880> go<00:41:41.040> into<00:41:41.319> it<00:41:41.599> but<00:41:41.760> like<00:41:42.119> uh<00:41:42.280> so<00:41:42.440> I<00:41:42.520> never<00:41:42.680> had<00:41:42.800> a<00:41:42.880> cheeseburger<00:41:43.400> till<00:41:43.560> I<00:41:43.599> was<00:41:43.720> 23<00:41:44.079> years<00:41:44.280> old<00:41:44.640> never<00:41:44.839> had<00:41:44.960> a<00:41:45.440> cheeseburger<00:41:46.440> yeah<00:41:46.720> it's<00:41:46.920> weird<00:41:47.280> weird<00:41:47.520> upbringing
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you<00:41:48.520> know<00:41:49.200> I<00:41:49.319> I<00:41:49.440> the<00:41:49.520> closest<00:41:49.839> I<00:41:49.960> got<00:41:50.079> was<00:41:50.200> I<00:41:50.280> had<00:41:50.400> a<00:41:50.520> hamburger<00:41:51.000> and<00:41:51.119> then<00:41:51.319> 6<00:41:51.520> hours<00:41:51.760> later<00:41:51.960> I<00:41:52.040> ate<00:41:52.200> a<00:41:52.319> slice<00:41:52.560> of<00:41:52.680> cheese<00:41:53.040> and<00:41:53.160> then<00:41:53.280> I<00:41:53.400> was<00:41:53.599> like
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this<00:42:12.079> is<00:42:12.240> fun<00:42:12.560> because<00:42:12.920> I<00:42:13.000> took<00:42:13.200> my<00:42:13.319> nephew<00:42:14.079> uh<00:42:14.200> for<00:42:14.359> his<00:42:14.480> bar<00:42:14.760> mitzvah<00:42:15.079> took<00:42:15.200> him<00:42:15.280> to<00:42:15.359> a<00:42:15.440> New<00:42:15.560> York<00:42:15.720> Ranger<00:42:16.119> game<00:42:17.119> um<00:42:17.920> Bar<00:42:18.200> Mitzvah<00:42:18.520> is<00:42:18.599> a<00:42:18.720> Jewish<00:42:19.000> Coming<00:42:19.240> of<00:42:19.359> Age<00:42:19.599> ceremony
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you've<00:42:20.517> heard<00:42:20.794> that<00:42:21.072> uh<00:42:21.349> it's<00:42:21.626> like<00:42:21.903> a<00:42:22.181> Mexicans<00:42:22.458> have<00:42:22.735> quinceañeras<00:42:23.012> I<00:42:23.290> guess<00:42:23.567> for<00:42:23.844> little<00:42:24.121> girls<00:42:24.399> uh<00:42:24.676> it's<00:42:24.953> when<00:42:25.230> a<00:42:25.508> bar<00:42:25.785> mitzvah<00:42:26.062> when<00:42:26.339> a<00:42:26.617> Jewish<00:42:26.894> boy<00:42:27.171> becomes<00:42:27.448> a<00:42:27.726> man<00:42:28.003> and<00:42:28.280> that's
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when<00:42:28.520> he<00:42:28.640> can<00:42:28.760> read<00:42:28.920> from<00:42:29.040> the<00:42:29.119> Torah<00:42:29.400> for<00:42:29.520> the<00:42:29.640> first<00:42:29.880> time<00:42:30.079> and<00:42:30.200> they<00:42:30.319> let<00:42:30.440> him<00:42:30.640> on<00:42:30.800> his<00:42:30.920> own<00:42:31.240> evict<00:42:31.520> a<00:42:31.720> family<00:42:32.359> out<00:42:32.520> of<00:42:32.640> their<00:42:32.880> home<00:42:34.760> uh<00:42:35.760> you<00:42:35.880> know<00:42:36.040> all<00:42:36.240> by<00:42:36.599> himself
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um<00:42:39.720> and<00:42:39.800> so<00:42:39.960> for<00:42:40.119> his<00:42:40.280> bar<00:42:40.520> mitzvah<00:42:40.880> I<00:42:40.960> took<00:42:41.079> my<00:42:41.200> nephew<00:42:41.440> to<00:42:41.559> a<00:42:41.640> Ranger<00:42:42.000> game<00:42:42.440> my<00:42:42.559> Orthodox<00:42:43.000> Jewish<00:42:43.319> nephew<00:42:43.760> and<00:42:44.079> uh<00:42:44.359> during<00:42:44.680> first<00:42:44.880> intermission<00:42:45.280> we<00:42:45.359> went<00:42:45.480> and<00:42:45.559> got<00:42:45.760> concessions
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and<00:42:46.920> I<00:42:47.040> ordered<00:42:47.400> a<00:42:47.520> bacon<00:42:48.200> cheeseburger<00:42:49.200> and<00:42:49.319> he<00:42:49.440> was<00:42:49.680> like<00:42:50.599> ah<00:42:51.599> I'm<00:42:51.760> like<00:42:51.839> I<00:42:51.920> don't<00:42:52.040> have<00:42:52.119> to<00:42:52.240> tell<00:42:52.359> you<00:42:52.480> dude<00:42:52.680> when<00:42:52.800> you're<00:42:52.920> 19<00:42:53.319> you<00:42:53.400> can<00:42:53.559> [fucking]<00:42:53.839> come<00:42:54.000> out<00:42:54.079> of<00:42:54.200> this<00:42:54.359> dumb
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cult<00:42:56.119> but<00:42:57.200> until<00:42:57.480> then<00:42:57.640> I<00:42:57.760> told<00:42:57.920> your<00:42:58.040> mom<00:42:58.240> you'd<00:42:58.440> be<00:42:58.599> good<00:42:58.839> so<00:42:59.079> enjoy<00:42:59.359> your<00:42:59.480> French<00:42:59.760> fries<00:43:01.800> loser<00:43:02.800> but
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you<00:43:03.000> got<00:43:03.079> to<00:43:03.359> understand<00:43:03.520> he's<00:43:03.760> never<00:43:04.040> seen<00:43:04.480> bacon<00:43:04.920> before<00:43:05.760> 13<00:43:06.079> years<00:43:06.240> old<00:43:06.359> he's<00:43:06.480> never<00:43:06.599> been<00:43:06.680> to<00:43:06.760> a<00:43:06.839> non-kosher<00:43:07.359> restaurant<00:43:07.839> why<00:43:07.960> would<00:43:08.119> he<00:43:08.240> he's<00:43:08.400> only<00:43:08.599> friends<00:43:08.880> with<00:43:09.040> Jews
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he's<00:43:09.559> only<00:43:09.760> go<00:43:09.880> hangs<00:43:10.119> around<00:43:10.280> with<00:43:10.440> Jews<00:43:10.920> he's<00:43:11.119> never<00:43:11.280> seen<00:43:11.599> bacon<00:43:11.920> he's<00:43:12.079> never<00:43:12.240> smelled<00:43:12.680> bacon<00:43:13.200> never<00:43:13.440> touched<00:43:13.760> bacon<00:43:14.640> and<00:43:14.839> he<00:43:15.040> just<00:43:15.160> had<00:43:16.400> questions<00:43:17.400> look
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I<00:43:17.680> was<00:43:17.800> already<00:43:17.960> the<00:43:18.119> cool<00:43:18.319> Uncle<00:43:18.880> you<00:43:19.119> know<00:43:20.119> I<00:43:20.280> [fucking]<00:43:20.520> hookers<00:43:20.960> I<00:43:21.160> do<00:43:22.559> drugs<00:43:23.559> but<00:43:23.760> dude<00:43:24.119> bacon
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and<00:43:28.400> he<00:43:28.480> was<00:43:28.599> just<00:43:28.800> like<00:43:28.960> Uncle<00:43:29.240> Ari<00:43:29.800> what<00:43:30.359> what<00:43:30.480> does<00:43:30.680> bacon<00:43:31.119> taste<00:43:31.480> like<00:43:32.359> and<00:43:32.480> I'm<00:43:32.640> like<00:43:32.839> oh<00:43:33.040> it's<00:43:33.400> the<00:43:33.720> greatest<00:43:34.160> thing<00:43:34.359> in<00:43:34.520> the<00:43:36.160> world<00:43:37.160> I
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how<00:43:37.720> do<00:43:37.800> you<00:43:37.920> even<00:43:38.119> explain<00:43:38.440> bacon<00:43:38.720> to<00:43:38.800> someone<00:43:39.319> it's<00:43:39.400> like<00:43:39.640> you<00:43:39.760> have<00:43:39.880> no<00:43:40.000> jumping<00:43:40.280> off<00:43:40.520> ground<00:43:40.760> to<00:43:41.200> understand<00:43:41.440> this<00:43:42.200> it's<00:43:42.319> like<00:43:42.520> explaining<00:43:43.079> freedom<00:43:43.400> to<00:43:43.559> a<00:43:44.839> slave
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you<00:43:46.000> know<00:43:46.640> or<00:43:46.920> hardship<00:43:47.400> to<00:43:47.559> a<00:43:48.740> [Music]
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millennial<00:43:52.280> he<00:43:52.400> was<00:43:52.559> like<00:43:52.720> my<00:43:52.839> mom<00:43:53.000> said<00:43:53.160> it<00:43:53.280> tastes<00:43:53.520> like<00:43:53.640> roast<00:43:54.240> beef<00:43:55.240> she's<00:43:55.440> a<00:43:55.559> liar<00:43:56.040> dude<00:43:57.079> your<00:43:57.200> mom's<00:43:57.400> a<00:43:57.480> liar<00:43:57.760> it's<00:43:57.880> my<00:43:58.000> little<00:43:58.200> sister<00:43:58.440> I<00:43:58.520> knew<00:43:58.680> it<00:43:58.800> a<00:43:58.880> long<00:43:59.079> time
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ago<00:43:59.400> I<00:43:59.480> thought<00:43:59.640> she'd<00:43:59.839> stopped<00:44:00.079> lying<00:44:00.359> but<00:44:00.480> now<00:44:00.599> I<00:44:00.720> know<00:44:00.880> she's<00:44:01.160> still<00:44:01.359> doing<00:44:02.680> it<00:44:03.680> he's<00:44:03.839> like<00:44:03.960> why<00:44:04.079> do<00:44:04.119> you<00:44:04.200> think<00:44:04.319> she's<00:44:04.480> lying<00:44:04.800> like<00:44:04.920> 'cause<00:44:05.119> she's<00:44:05.440> never<00:44:05.720> had<00:44:06.280> bacon<00:44:07.280> and
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I've<00:44:07.599> had<00:44:07.760> both<00:44:07.960> bacon<00:44:08.319> and<00:44:08.520> roast<00:44:08.800> beef<00:44:09.119> so<00:44:09.359> I'm<00:44:09.599> the<00:44:09.760> expert<00:44:11.119> here<00:44:12.119> he<00:44:12.280> goes<00:44:12.520> what<00:44:12.640> so<00:44:12.720> you<00:44:12.800> don't<00:44:12.880> like<00:44:13.119> you<00:44:13.200> don't<00:44:13.319> like<00:44:13.440> roast<00:44:13.640> beef<00:44:13.880> I'm<00:44:13.960> like<00:44:14.160> you're<00:44:14.280> missing<00:44:14.680> the
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point<00:44:16.119> completely<00:44:17.119> roast<00:44:17.440> beef<00:44:17.640> is<00:44:17.839> fine<00:44:18.040> dude<00:44:18.319> but<00:44:18.480> next<00:44:18.640> to<00:44:18.800> bacon<00:44:19.119> roast<00:44:19.359> beef<00:44:19.599> is<00:44:19.720> like<00:44:19.960> making<00:44:20.319> out<00:44:20.520> with<00:44:20.640> Madonna
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00:47:18.160 --> 00:47:27.880
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00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:54.680
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00:48:03.160 --> 00:48:11.240
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00:48:20.240 --> 00:48:28.480
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00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:37.520
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00:48:37.520 --> 00:48:45.640
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00:48:45.640 --> 00:48:53.160
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and,<00:48:53.333> and<00:48:53.507> uh,<00:48:53.680> they<00:48:53.853> say<00:48:54.027> one<00:48:54.200> of<00:48:54.373> the<00:48:54.546> things<00:48:54.720> you<00:48:54.893> covet<00:48:55.066> is<00:48:55.240> their<00:48:55.413> hair.<00:48:55.586> Hair<00:48:55.760> is<00:48:55.933> an<00:48:56.106> attractive<00:48:56.279> quality<00:48:56.453> in<00:48:56.626> a<00:48:56.799> woman,<00:48:56.973> so<00:48:57.146> you<00:48:57.319> have<00:48:57.493> to<00:48:57.666> cover<00:48:57.839> your<00:48:58.012> hair<00:48:58.186> if<00:48:58.359> you're
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:05.359
a<00:48:58.559> married<00:48:58.839> woman.<00:48:59.119> So<00:48:59.280> these<00:48:59.440> Jewish<00:48:59.720> women,<00:49:00.079> who<00:49:00.200> were<00:49:00.440> just<00:49:00.640> as<00:49:00.760> smart<00:49:01.000> as<00:49:01.119> Jewish<00:49:01.440> men,<00:49:02.319> they<00:49:02.440> went<00:49:02.680> looking<00:49:02.920> for<00:49:03.160> loopholes.<00:49:04.160> So<00:49:04.319> they<00:49:04.400> went<00:49:04.520> to<00:49:04.640> their<00:49:04.839> rabbis<00:49:05.240> like,
00:49:05.359 --> 00:49:12.240
"Rabbi,<00:49:05.720> can<00:49:05.799> we<00:49:05.920> cover<00:49:06.119> up<00:49:06.200> our<00:49:06.319> hair<00:49:06.440> with<00:49:06.559> a<00:49:06.640> baseball<00:49:07.040> cap?"<00:49:07.240> And<00:49:07.319> he's<00:49:07.520> like,<00:49:07.880> "Yeah,<00:49:08.200> whatever,<00:49:08.599> do<00:49:08.839> anything."<00:49:09.839> And<00:49:09.960> they're<00:49:10.119> like,<00:49:10.240> "Can<00:49:10.359> we<00:49:10.440> cover<00:49:10.640> up<00:49:10.760> our<00:49:10.920> hair<00:49:11.839> with<00:49:12.000> someone
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else's
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hair?"<00:49:16.280> And<00:49:16.400> the<00:49:16.520> Rav's<00:49:16.839> like,<00:49:16.960> "Where<00:49:17.079> are<00:49:17.119> you<00:49:17.240> going<00:49:17.520> with<00:49:19.079> this?"<00:49:20.079> They're<00:49:20.240> like,<00:49:20.480> "We<00:49:20.640> propose<00:49:20.960> we<00:49:21.079> cover<00:49:21.280> up<00:49:21.400> our<00:49:21.559> hair<00:49:21.880> with<00:49:22.000> some<00:49:22.160> hair<00:49:22.319> we<00:49:22.440> bought<00:49:22.680> in<00:49:23.400> China,
00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:30.079
so<00:49:24.640> it's<00:49:24.799> not<00:49:25.000> us<00:49:25.240> they're<00:49:25.480> attracted<00:49:25.880> to,<00:49:26.400> it's<00:49:26.720> Sun<00:49:26.960> Lee<00:49:27.200> from
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Shanghai."<00:49:31.079> And<00:49:31.200> the<00:49:31.319> rabbis<00:49:31.680> were<00:49:31.880> like,<00:49:32.240> "Well<00:49:34.559> played."<00:49:35.559> Um,<00:49:35.680> you<00:49:35.760> can't<00:49:35.920> use<00:49:36.160> electricity<00:49:36.640> on<00:49:36.760> the<00:49:36.880> Sabbath,<00:49:37.280> that's<00:49:37.400> one<00:49:37.520> you're<00:49:37.640> not<00:49:37.760> allowed<00:49:37.920> to<00:49:38.040> do.<00:49:38.200> If
00:49:38.280 --> 00:49:45.880
a<00:49:38.576> light's<00:49:38.872> on,<00:49:39.168> it's<00:49:39.464> on.<00:49:39.760> If<00:49:40.056> it's<00:49:40.352> off,<00:49:40.648> it's<00:49:40.944> off.<00:49:41.240> From<00:49:41.536> Friday<00:49:41.832> night<00:49:42.128> sundown<00:49:42.424> to<00:49:42.720> Saturday<00:49:43.016> sundown,<00:49:43.312> all<00:49:43.608> Shabbos<00:49:43.904> long,<00:49:44.200> you<00:49:44.496> can't<00:49:44.792> use<00:49:45.088> electricity.<00:49:45.384> However,<00:49:45.680> you
00:49:45.880 --> 00:49:50.920
can<00:49:46.480> get<00:49:46.640> a<00:49:46.880> [goy]<00:49:47.440> to<00:49:47.599> use<00:49:47.799> it<00:49:47.960> for
00:49:50.920 --> 00:50:00.319
you.<00:49:51.920> You<00:49:52.079> can't<00:49:52.359> ask<00:49:52.599> outright,<00:49:53.119> cuz<00:49:53.280> that's<00:49:53.440> cheating,<00:49:54.160> but<00:49:54.280> you<00:49:54.480> can<00:49:54.960> hint<00:49:55.640> strongly<00:49:56.000> at<00:49:56.160> it.
00:50:00.319 --> 00:50:07.599
So<00:50:00.559> maybe<00:50:00.799> you<00:50:00.920> have<00:50:01.040> an<00:50:01.160> Orthodox<00:50:01.640> Jewish<00:50:02.040> family<00:50:02.359> in<00:50:02.480> your,<00:50:02.799> in<00:50:02.920> your<00:50:03.240> building<00:50:03.599> or<00:50:03.760> your<00:50:03.880> neighborhood,<00:50:04.319> and<00:50:04.400> maybe<00:50:04.599> they<00:50:04.760> talk<00:50:04.960> to<00:50:05.079> you<00:50:05.160> for<00:50:05.319> the<00:50:05.440> first<00:50:05.680> time<00:50:06.599> ever,
00:50:07.599 --> 00:50:13.880
and<00:50:07.720> you're<00:50:07.839> like,<00:50:08.040> "This<00:50:08.119> is<00:50:08.280> odd."<00:50:08.520> You're<00:50:08.640> like,<00:50:08.839> "Hey<00:50:08.960> neighbor,<00:50:09.520> uh,<00:50:09.680> how<00:50:09.760> you<00:50:09.880> doing?<00:50:10.160> I've<00:50:10.319> lived<00:50:10.599> next<00:50:10.799> door<00:50:10.960> for<00:50:11.079> the<00:50:11.160> last<00:50:11.319> 25<00:50:11.640> years,<00:50:11.799> I<00:50:11.880> haven't<00:50:12.040> said<00:50:12.160> hi<00:50:12.280> to<00:50:12.359> you<00:50:12.880> ever."
00:50:13.880 --> 00:50:19.799
Well,<00:50:14.000> it<00:50:14.079> turns<00:50:14.319> out<00:50:14.480> it's<00:50:14.640> very<00:50:14.839> hot<00:50:15.040> out<00:50:15.280> and<00:50:15.359> we<00:50:15.480> left<00:50:15.640> our<00:50:15.799> air<00:50:16.119> conditioning<00:50:16.440> off,<00:50:17.359> and<00:50:17.440> you'll<00:50:17.599> be<00:50:17.720> like,<00:50:17.960> "Okay,<00:50:18.119> you<00:50:18.200> should<00:50:18.359> turn<00:50:18.480> it<00:50:18.599> on."<00:50:18.839> Like,<00:50:19.040> "Oh,<00:50:19.160> I'm<00:50:19.280> glad<00:50:19.440> you<00:50:19.559> brought
00:50:19.799 --> 00:50:23.319
that<00:50:19.920> up.
00:50:23.319 --> 00:50:33.280
Uh,<00:50:24.319> I<00:50:24.480> cannot<00:50:24.799> turn<00:50:25.000> it<00:50:25.119> on<00:50:25.319> cuz<00:50:25.480> my<00:50:25.720> God<00:50:25.880> forbids<00:50:26.400> it.<00:50:27.119> However,<00:50:28.079> if<00:50:28.200> a<00:50:28.960> [goy]<00:50:29.960> were<00:50:30.119> to<00:50:30.280> do<00:50:30.440> it<00:50:30.640> for
00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:41.359
me,<00:50:33.600> by<00:50:33.920> then<00:50:34.240> I<00:50:34.560> could<00:50:34.880> be<00:50:35.200> a<00:50:35.520> nice<00:50:35.840> cool<00:50:36.160> breeziness<00:50:36.480> that<00:50:36.800> happens<00:50:37.120> on<00:50:37.440> the<00:50:37.760> Shabbos.<00:50:38.080> What<00:50:38.400> you<00:50:38.720> should<00:50:39.040> do<00:50:39.360> is,<00:50:39.680> you<00:50:40.000> should<00:50:40.320> go<00:50:40.640> over<00:50:40.960> there<00:50:41.280> and
00:50:41.359 --> 00:50:50.810
turn<00:50:41.480> it<00:50:41.599> on<00:50:41.760> for<00:50:41.880> them,<00:50:42.040> be<00:50:42.160> nice<00:50:42.359> about<00:50:42.520> it,<00:50:42.839> and<00:50:43.000> then<00:50:43.160> you'll<00:50:43.359> be<00:50:43.480> known<00:50:43.680> as<00:50:43.799> a<00:50:43.960> Shabbos<00:50:45.480> [goy],<00:50:46.480> and<00:50:46.680> that<00:50:46.839> is<00:50:47.119> the<00:50:47.400> highest<00:50:47.799> level<00:50:48.079> of<00:50:48.280> [goy].
00:50:50.810 --> 00:50:57.599
[Applause]
00:50:57.599 --> 00:51:04.240
Yeah,<00:50:57.799> in<00:50:58.000> fact,<00:50:58.319> actually,<00:50:58.680> if<00:50:58.760> you<00:50:58.880> have<00:50:59.079> next-door<00:50:59.400> neighbors<00:50:59.640> who<00:50:59.760> are<00:51:00.000> there,<00:51:00.200> Jews,<00:51:00.520> just<00:51:00.640> go<00:51:00.760> over<00:51:00.920> there,<00:51:01.000> be<00:51:01.119> like,<00:51:01.319> "How's<00:51:01.480> your<00:51:01.599> light<00:51:01.799> situation<00:51:02.799> today?<00:51:03.799> Friday<00:51:04.079> night
00:51:04.240 --> 00:51:12.680
to<00:51:04.583> Saturday?<00:51:04.927> Can<00:51:05.270> I<00:51:05.613> help<00:51:05.957> with<00:51:06.300> anything?<00:51:06.643> Anything<00:51:06.987> bothering<00:51:07.330> you?"<00:51:07.673> Hint,<00:51:08.017> hint.<00:51:08.360> They'll<00:51:08.703> love<00:51:09.047> you,<00:51:09.390> dude.<00:51:09.733> They'll<00:51:10.077> give<00:51:10.420> you<00:51:10.763> tons<00:51:11.107> of<00:51:11.450> challah.<00:51:11.793> So<00:51:12.137> anyway,<00:51:12.480> back
00:51:12.680 --> 00:51:19.720
to<00:51:12.839> batel<00:51:13.160> b'shishim,<00:51:13.960> back<00:51:14.079> to<00:51:14.240> the<00:51:14.559> waste<00:51:14.760> of<00:51:14.839> the<00:51:14.960> 60th.<00:51:15.319> Me<00:51:15.400> and<00:51:15.480> all<00:51:15.599> my<00:51:15.720> friends<00:51:15.920> were<00:51:16.079> like,<00:51:16.240> "That's<00:51:16.359> the<00:51:16.480> loophole<00:51:16.839> we've<00:51:16.960> been<00:51:17.079> looking<00:51:17.359> for.<00:51:18.359> What<00:51:18.480> if<00:51:18.640> one<00:51:18.799> of<00:51:18.920> these<00:51:19.119> goys<00:51:19.520> comes
00:51:19.720 --> 00:51:27.440
to<00:51:19.920> my<00:51:20.079> mom's<00:51:20.440> kitchen?"<00:51:21.440> You<00:51:21.559> know,<00:51:21.760> maybe<00:51:22.000> the<00:51:22.119> Amazon<00:51:22.480> delivery<00:51:23.280> guy,<00:51:24.280> and<00:51:24.400> he's<00:51:24.520> like,<00:51:24.720> "Hi,<00:51:24.839> Mr.<00:51:25.000> Shafir,<00:51:25.319> I<00:51:25.359> need<00:51:25.440> you<00:51:25.520> to<00:51:25.640> sign<00:51:25.880> right<00:51:26.000> there,<00:51:26.240> try<00:51:26.640> line<00:51:26.799> if<00:51:26.880> you<00:51:26.960> don't<00:51:27.079> mind."
00:51:27.440 --> 00:51:37.920
Yeah,<00:51:27.640> just<00:51:28.079> sign,<00:51:29.079> just<00:51:29.280> right<00:51:29.400> there<00:51:29.520> at<00:51:29.599> the<00:51:29.720> line<00:51:29.960> if<00:51:30.040> you<00:51:30.119> don't<00:51:30.359> mind.<00:51:31.119> "Hey,<00:51:31.359> what,<00:51:31.559> uh,<00:51:31.680> what<00:51:31.760> are<00:51:31.839> you<00:51:31.960> cooking<00:51:32.280> back<00:51:32.799> there?<00:51:33.799> Oh,<00:51:33.920> is<00:51:34.040> it<00:51:34.200> some<00:51:34.359> soup?"<00:51:34.680> You<00:51:34.799> [goy]<00:51:36.920> [goy]
00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:46.200
you<00:51:38.040> know,<00:51:38.599> makes<00:51:38.839> a<00:51:38.960> break<00:51:39.160> for<00:51:39.359> it,<00:51:39.480> reach<00:51:39.760> into<00:51:39.920> his<00:51:40.119> pocket<00:51:40.359> for<00:51:40.520> his<00:51:40.720> pocket<00:51:41.480> ham.<00:51:42.480> That,<00:51:42.680> honestly,<00:51:43.160> we<00:51:43.280> thought<00:51:43.520> you<00:51:43.680> guys<00:51:43.880> had<00:51:44.079> ham<00:51:44.319> on<00:51:44.480> you<00:51:44.680> at<00:51:44.799> all<00:51:45.079> times.<00:51:46.079> We
00:51:46.200 --> 00:51:51.119
didn't<00:51:46.440> know<00:51:46.640> any<00:51:46.880> goys,<00:51:47.319> we<00:51:47.440> didn't<00:51:47.599> want<00:51:47.720> to<00:51:47.880> know<00:51:48.000> any<00:51:48.160> goys,<00:51:48.480> we<00:51:48.559> just<00:51:48.680> thought<00:51:48.799> you<00:51:48.920> guys<00:51:49.040> were<00:51:49.240> like,<00:51:49.440> just<00:51:49.559> in<00:51:49.680> case<00:51:49.839> some<00:51:49.960> Jew<00:51:50.200> soup<00:51:50.440> appeared,<00:51:50.720> it's<00:51:50.839> all<00:51:50.960> going<00:51:51.079> to
00:51:51.119 --> 00:51:59.559
be<00:51:53.280> ready.<00:51:54.280> [Goy]<00:51:54.559> dunks<00:51:54.920> it<00:51:55.040> in<00:51:55.160> the<00:51:55.280> ham,<00:51:55.640> [goy]<00:51:55.880> off,<00:51:56.040> Jews,<00:51:56.599> you<00:51:56.680> know,<00:51:56.920> and<00:51:57.119> then<00:51:58.119> takes<00:51:58.400> off.<00:51:58.599> Me<00:51:58.680> and<00:51:58.799> all<00:51:58.920> my<00:51:59.000> friends,<00:51:59.319> same
00:51:59.559 --> 00:52:07.280
exact<00:52:00.000> daydream.<00:52:01.000> None<00:52:01.160> of<00:52:01.280> us<00:52:01.400> were<00:52:01.559> like,<00:52:01.720> "I'm<00:52:01.799> going<00:52:01.880> to<00:52:01.960> go<00:52:02.079> fight<00:52:02.319> that<00:52:02.520> guy,"<00:52:02.799> but<00:52:02.960> why?<00:52:03.079> You'll<00:52:03.280> lose.<00:52:03.640> There's<00:52:03.799> no<00:52:04.680> reason.<00:52:05.680> No,<00:52:05.880> we<00:52:06.040> all<00:52:06.280> had<00:52:06.359> the<00:52:06.520> same<00:52:06.720> daydream:<00:52:07.000> we're<00:52:07.119> going
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:15.960
for<00:52:07.400> that<00:52:07.520> measuring<00:52:09.960> cup,<00:52:10.960> and<00:52:11.079> if<00:52:11.200> it's<00:52:11.319> less<00:52:11.480> than<00:52:11.799> 160th,<00:52:12.319> we're<00:52:12.559> eating<00:52:12.839> ham<00:52:13.119> soup<00:52:14.760> tonight.<00:52:15.760> Yeah.
00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:22.119
What,<00:52:16.079> what<00:52:16.160> did<00:52:16.280> you<00:52:16.359> guys<00:52:16.520> dream<00:52:16.760> about<00:52:16.920> when<00:52:17.000> you<00:52:17.040> were<00:52:17.200> 19?<00:52:17.640> Same<00:52:17.839> [goy]<00:52:18.160> or<00:52:18.400> like<00:52:18.599> different
00:52:22.119 --> 00:52:29.880
[goy]?<00:52:22.399> By<00:52:22.679> the<00:52:22.959> way,<00:52:23.239> okay,<00:52:23.519> so<00:52:23.799> you<00:52:24.079> guys,<00:52:24.359> I,<00:52:24.639> I<00:52:24.919> know<00:52:25.199> I'm<00:52:25.479> painting<00:52:25.759> this<00:52:26.040> picture<00:52:26.320> of,<00:52:26.600> of<00:52:26.880> Orthodox<00:52:27.160> Jews<00:52:27.440> being<00:52:27.720> like<00:52:28.000> very<00:52:28.280> insular<00:52:28.560> and<00:52:28.840> like<00:52:29.120> different,<00:52:29.400> but<00:52:29.680> like
00:52:29.880 --> 00:52:38.079
we're<00:52:30.079> not,<00:52:30.680> we're<00:52:30.880> not<00:52:31.119> that<00:52:31.319> different<00:52:31.640> than<00:52:31.799> you.<00:52:32.559> It's<00:52:32.760> like<00:52:32.960> just<00:52:33.119> like<00:52:33.319> one<00:52:33.599> step<00:52:33.960> down,<00:52:34.680> you<00:52:34.799> know?<00:52:34.920> We<00:52:35.040> did<00:52:35.200> normal<00:52:35.480> [goy],<00:52:35.640> we<00:52:35.760> listened<00:52:36.000> to<00:52:36.160> Top<00:52:36.319> 40<00:52:37.000> music,<00:52:38.000> uh,
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:45.559
we<00:52:38.200> could<00:52:38.359> watch<00:52:38.559> movies,<00:52:38.920> rated<00:52:39.240> R<00:52:39.440> movies<00:52:39.720> even,<00:52:39.960> no<00:52:40.119> nudity,<00:52:40.720> but<00:52:41.040> violence<00:52:41.440> was<00:52:41.599> fine<00:52:41.760> as<00:52:41.880> long<00:52:41.960> as<00:52:42.040> it<00:52:42.119> was<00:52:42.240> goy<00:52:42.559> dying,<00:52:42.880> it<00:52:42.960> was
00:52:45.559 --> 00:52:54.319
cool.<00:52:45.905> Um,<00:52:46.250> I<00:52:46.596> played<00:52:46.942> basketball.<00:52:47.287> I<00:52:47.633> was<00:52:47.978> on<00:52:48.324> a<00:52:48.670> basketball<00:52:49.015> team.<00:52:49.361> My<00:52:49.707> league<00:52:50.052> was,<00:52:50.398> uh,<00:52:50.744> three<00:52:51.089> Jewish<00:52:51.435> schools,<00:52:51.781> a<00:52:52.126> day<00:52:52.472> school,<00:52:52.817> and<00:52:53.163> a<00:52:53.509> Sidwell<00:52:53.854> Friends.<00:52:54.200> Yeah,
00:52:54.319 --> 00:53:00.359
but<00:52:54.400> you<00:52:54.480> had<00:52:54.559> to<00:52:54.640> play<00:52:54.760> with<00:52:54.839> your<00:52:54.960> yarmulke.<00:52:55.520> The<00:52:55.599> girls<00:52:55.839> had<00:52:55.960> to<00:52:56.040> play<00:52:56.160> with<00:52:56.480> shirts<00:52:56.680> with<00:52:56.799> sweatpants<00:52:57.799> underneath.<00:52:58.799> Yeah,<00:52:59.079> but<00:52:59.200> I<00:52:59.359> played<00:52:59.520> with<00:52:59.599> a<00:52:59.720> yarmulke.<00:53:00.160> And<00:53:00.240> what<00:53:00.319> I
00:53:00.359 --> 00:53:06.119
would<00:53:00.480> do<00:53:00.559> is<00:53:00.640> I<00:53:00.760> clip<00:53:00.960> my<00:53:01.079> hair,<00:53:01.359> my<00:53:01.559> clip<00:53:01.799> on<00:53:02.000> the<00:53:02.119> yarmulke,<00:53:02.559> just<00:53:02.720> one<00:53:02.920> clip,<00:53:03.240> so<00:53:03.400> it<00:53:03.440> would<00:53:03.599> like<00:53:03.680> move<00:53:03.880> around<00:53:04.040> a<00:53:04.119> little.<00:53:04.280> I'm<00:53:04.480> 6'3".<00:53:04.880> I<00:53:04.960> was<00:53:05.040> the<00:53:05.119> tallest<00:53:05.400> Jew<00:53:05.599> in<00:53:05.720> like<00:53:05.880> nine
00:53:06.119 --> 00:53:12.559
years<00:53:06.319> at<00:53:06.440> my<00:53:06.680> school,<00:53:07.680> so<00:53:07.880> I<00:53:07.960> was<00:53:08.079> a<00:53:08.240> center.<00:53:08.680> So<00:53:08.880> there's<00:53:09.079> no,<00:53:09.280> Jews<00:53:09.520> aren't<00:53:09.680> known<00:53:09.839> for<00:53:09.960> their<00:53:10.119> vertical,<00:53:10.599> so<00:53:10.760> what<00:53:10.880> the<00:53:11.000> [goy]<00:53:11.160> am<00:53:11.240> I<00:53:11.319> going<00:53:11.440> to<00:53:11.559> do?<00:53:11.960> So<00:53:12.119> I<00:53:12.200> get<00:53:12.319> the<00:53:12.400> ball
00:53:12.559 --> 00:53:19.680
on<00:53:12.640> the<00:53:12.760> post,<00:53:13.200> right?<00:53:13.400> And<00:53:13.480> then<00:53:13.559> I<00:53:13.720> go<00:53:13.839> like<00:53:14.000> this,<00:53:14.160> and<00:53:14.240> the<00:53:14.359> yarmulke<00:53:14.799> would<00:53:15.400> like<00:53:16.400> move,<00:53:16.720> and<00:53:16.799> it<00:53:16.920> would<00:53:17.119> put<00:53:17.359> like<00:53:17.520> defenders<00:53:17.880> in<00:53:18.000> a<00:53:18.160> trance,<00:53:18.599> and<00:53:18.680> they<00:53:18.799> would<00:53:18.960> follow<00:53:19.240> the
00:53:19.680 --> 00:53:29.240
yarmulke,<00:53:20.069> drop<00:53:20.458> step<00:53:20.847> to<00:53:21.236> the<00:53:21.625> left,<00:53:22.015> the<00:53:22.404> easy<00:53:22.793> D.<00:53:23.182> Yeah,<00:53:23.571> you<00:53:23.960> got<00:53:24.349> to<00:53:24.738> use<00:53:25.127> what<00:53:25.516> you<00:53:25.905> got,<00:53:26.295> got<00:53:26.684> to<00:53:27.073> use<00:53:27.462> what<00:53:27.851> you<00:53:28.240> got.
00:53:29.240 --> 00:53:36.400
Yeah,<00:53:29.400> we're<00:53:29.640> like,<00:53:29.799> you<00:53:29.960> just<00:53:30.119> like<00:53:30.319> one<00:53:30.599> step<00:53:30.960> off,<00:53:31.440> you<00:53:31.559> know?<00:53:31.880> Like,<00:53:32.119> okay,<00:53:32.280> like<00:53:32.440> Christians,<00:53:32.760> you're<00:53:32.839> not<00:53:33.000> allowed<00:53:33.119> to<00:53:33.160> have<00:53:33.280> premarital<00:53:33.839> sex,<00:53:34.559> but<00:53:34.839> you<00:53:35.079> do<00:53:35.359> it,<00:53:36.119> you're<00:53:36.280> just
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:43.799
not<00:53:36.520> allowed.<00:53:36.839> And<00:53:36.960> Jews<00:53:37.200> were<00:53:37.359> not<00:53:37.480> allowed<00:53:37.680> to<00:53:37.799> touch<00:53:38.040> women<00:53:38.319> before<00:53:38.720> marriage,<00:53:39.720> uh,<00:53:39.920> but<00:53:40.119> we,<00:53:40.280> you<00:53:40.359> know,<00:53:40.520> we<00:53:40.640> still<00:53:40.880> did.<00:53:41.200> It<00:53:41.280> was<00:53:41.480> like<00:53:41.839> bad<00:53:42.119> kids,<00:53:43.079> we'd<00:53:43.280> meet<00:53:43.440> girls<00:53:43.680> in
00:53:43.799 --> 00:53:51.799
the<00:53:43.920> woods<00:53:44.160> behind<00:53:44.400> school,<00:53:44.680> and<00:53:44.760> we'd<00:53:44.960> like<00:53:45.160> hold<00:53:46.200> hands,<00:53:47.200> but<00:53:47.359> as<00:53:47.480> we<00:53:47.599> were<00:53:47.720> doing<00:53:47.920> it,<00:53:48.079> we're<00:53:48.280> like,<00:53:48.640> "What<00:53:48.839> a<00:53:49.240> [goy]
00:53:51.799 --> 00:53:59.599
slug.<00:53:52.799> Oh<00:53:53.160> my<00:53:54.480> God,<00:53:55.480> who<00:53:55.599> would<00:53:55.799> marry<00:53:56.119> her<00:53:56.280> now?"
00:53:59.599 --> 00:54:07.960
Out,<00:53:59.925> it's<00:54:00.252> you.<00:54:00.578> But<00:54:00.905> one<00:54:01.231> step<00:54:01.558> off,<00:54:01.884> that's<00:54:02.211> all.<00:54:02.537> Let<00:54:02.863> me<00:54:03.190> tell<00:54:03.516> you<00:54:03.843> about<00:54:04.169> Yom<00:54:04.496> Kippur.<00:54:04.822> It's<00:54:05.148> our<00:54:05.475> biggest<00:54:05.801> holiday,<00:54:06.128> it's<00:54:06.454> our<00:54:06.781> most<00:54:07.107> somber<00:54:07.434> day<00:54:07.760> in
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in,<00:54:08.205> in<00:54:08.450> the<00:54:08.695> Jewish<00:54:08.941> calendar.<00:54:09.186> It's<00:54:09.431> a<00:54:09.676> day<00:54:09.921> of<00:54:10.166> atonement.<00:54:10.411> It's<00:54:10.656> part<00:54:10.902> of<00:54:11.147> the<00:54:11.392> Aseret<00:54:11.637> Yemei<00:54:11.882> Teshuvah,<00:54:12.127> with<00:54:12.372> the<00:54:12.617> 10<00:54:12.863> days<00:54:13.108> of<00:54:13.353> repentance,<00:54:13.598> um,<00:54:13.843> from<00:54:14.088> Rosh<00:54:14.333> Hashanah<00:54:14.578> to<00:54:14.824> Yom<00:54:15.069> Kippur,<00:54:15.314> and<00:54:15.559> you
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:22.520
have<00:54:15.912> to<00:54:16.143> pray<00:54:16.375> for<00:54:16.607> forgiveness<00:54:16.839> the<00:54:17.070> whole<00:54:17.302> day<00:54:17.534> on<00:54:17.766> Yom<00:54:17.997> Kippur,<00:54:18.229> uh,<00:54:18.461> you<00:54:18.692> have<00:54:18.924> to<00:54:19.156> fast<00:54:19.388> from<00:54:19.619> sundown<00:54:19.851> to<00:54:20.083> the<00:54:20.314> next<00:54:20.546> day<00:54:20.778> sundown,<00:54:21.010> super<00:54:21.241> super,<00:54:21.473> but<00:54:21.705> God's<00:54:21.937> judging<00:54:22.168> you<00:54:22.400> for
00:54:22.520 --> 00:54:30.640
your<00:54:22.640> sins,<00:54:22.880> he's<00:54:23.040> deciding<00:54:23.359> on<00:54:23.480> your<00:54:23.720> fate.<00:54:24.720> Um,<00:54:24.880> this<00:54:24.960> is<00:54:25.040> one<00:54:25.160> of<00:54:25.200> my<00:54:25.319> earliest<00:54:25.599> memories.<00:54:26.079> This<00:54:26.200> is<00:54:26.440> me<00:54:26.520> as<00:54:26.640> a<00:54:27.000> probably<00:54:27.200> a<00:54:27.319> six,<00:54:27.720> six-year-old,<00:54:28.480> maybe<00:54:28.760> first<00:54:29.400> grade,<00:54:30.400> guys,
00:54:30.640 --> 00:54:38.040
it's<00:54:30.760> going<00:54:30.880> to<00:54:30.960> get<00:54:31.119> weird<00:54:31.440> right<00:54:31.880> here,<00:54:32.880> just<00:54:33.000> so<00:54:33.160> you<00:54:33.319> know.<00:54:33.920> Uh,<00:54:34.079> first<00:54:34.480> grade,<00:54:35.359> my<00:54:35.559> dad,<00:54:35.760> before<00:54:36.000> Yom<00:54:36.400> Kippur<00:54:36.520> started,<00:54:36.760> he<00:54:36.799> was<00:54:36.920> like,<00:54:37.040> "Hey,<00:54:37.160> come<00:54:37.280> with<00:54:37.359> me<00:54:37.440> to<00:54:37.520> the<00:54:37.599> front<00:54:37.799> lawn.
00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:45.960
We're<00:54:38.319> going<00:54:38.597> to<00:54:38.876> say<00:54:39.154> this<00:54:39.433> prayer<00:54:39.711> called<00:54:39.990> Kaparot,"<00:54:40.268> uh,<00:54:40.547> and<00:54:40.825> he<00:54:41.104> brought<00:54:41.382> with<00:54:41.661> him<00:54:41.940> to<00:54:42.218> say<00:54:42.497> this<00:54:42.775> prayer<00:54:43.054> a<00:54:43.332> chicken,<00:54:43.611> a<00:54:43.889> live<00:54:44.168> chicken,<00:54:44.446> and<00:54:44.725> I<00:54:45.003> was<00:54:45.282> like,<00:54:45.560> "I'm<00:54:45.839> going
00:54:45.960 --> 00:54:54.119
to<00:54:46.079> name<00:54:46.240> it<00:54:46.400> Big<00:54:48.079> Nate."<00:54:49.079> Yeah,<00:54:49.319> my<00:54:49.480> dad<00:54:49.640> said,<00:54:49.920> "Oh,<00:54:50.160> we<00:54:50.359> will<00:54:50.640> not<00:54:50.880> be<00:54:51.000> naming<00:54:51.359> this<00:54:53.000> chicken."<00:54:54.000> Yeah.
00:54:54.119 --> 00:54:58.640
And<00:54:54.200> I<00:54:54.280> should<00:54:54.400> have<00:54:54.520> said,<00:54:54.720> "Dad,<00:54:54.920> what<00:54:55.040> does<00:54:55.200> foreshadowing<00:54:55.839> mean?"
00:54:58.640 --> 00:55:05.040
Here's<00:54:58.799> how<00:54:59.000> Kaparot<00:54:59.440> works,<00:55:00.079> uh:<00:55:00.280> you<00:55:00.400> say<00:55:00.599> this<00:55:00.760> prayer<00:55:01.079> over<00:55:01.280> and<00:55:01.440> over<00:55:01.680> again,<00:55:02.000> and<00:55:02.079> then<00:55:02.319> symbolically,<00:55:03.079> as<00:55:03.200> you<00:55:03.319> say<00:55:03.520> it,<00:55:03.640> your<00:55:03.799> sins<00:55:04.040> are<00:55:04.160> supposed<00:55:04.359> to<00:55:04.520> kind<00:55:04.599> of<00:55:04.760> like
00:55:05.040 --> 00:55:14.599
wash<00:55:05.359> off<00:55:05.640> you<00:55:05.920> a<00:55:06.040> little<00:55:06.280> bit,<00:55:07.200> but<00:55:07.960> they<00:55:08.079> don't<00:55:08.440> evaporate,<00:55:08.960> the<00:55:09.079> sins,<00:55:09.359> they<00:55:09.440> got<00:55:09.520> to<00:55:09.680> go<00:55:10.079> somewhere.<00:55:11.160> So<00:55:12.160> this<00:55:13.599> chicken,
00:55:14.599 --> 00:55:22.599
yeah,<00:55:14.799> it's<00:55:14.920> a<00:55:15.079> sin<00:55:16.880> chicken,<00:55:17.880> and<00:55:18.040> it<00:55:18.160> eats<00:55:18.480> sins.<00:55:19.040> I<00:55:19.119> know,<00:55:19.440> I<00:55:19.559> get<00:55:19.720> it,<00:55:19.839> it's<00:55:20.040> very<00:55:20.280> strange.<00:55:20.680> We're<00:55:20.839> not<00:55:20.960> the<00:55:21.039> only<00:55:21.240> culture<00:55:21.520> that<00:55:21.680> does<00:55:21.839> [goy]<00:55:22.039> like<00:55:22.160> that.<00:55:22.280> There's<00:55:22.440> other
00:55:22.599 --> 00:55:28.839
cultures<00:55:22.880> with<00:55:23.039> similar<00:55:23.359> stuff.<00:55:23.599> There's<00:55:23.720> a<00:55:23.880> tribe<00:55:24.119> in<00:55:24.240> the<00:55:24.400> Amazon,<00:55:25.319> uh,<00:55:25.480> Central<00:55:25.760> South<00:55:25.960> America,<00:55:26.359> every<00:55:26.559> 3<00:55:26.799> years<00:55:27.440> villagers<00:55:27.880> come<00:55:28.160> together,<00:55:28.359> they<00:55:28.440> put<00:55:28.559> their<00:55:28.640> sins
00:55:28.839 --> 00:55:36.960
on<00:55:28.960> a<00:55:29.119> goat<00:55:29.640> and<00:55:29.799> they<00:55:29.920> [goy]<00:55:30.200> kick<00:55:30.400> the<00:55:30.520> goat<00:55:30.720> off<00:55:30.839> a<00:55:32.880> cliff.<00:55:33.880> Yeah,<00:55:34.920> uh,<00:55:35.920> yeah,<00:55:36.440> Catholics,<00:55:36.839> you
00:55:36.960 --> 00:55:45.520
tell<00:55:37.119> your<00:55:37.240> sins<00:55:37.520> to<00:55:37.640> a<00:55:37.720> rapist<00:55:38.079> behind<00:55:38.280> a<00:55:40.160> counter,<00:55:41.160> and<00:55:42.240> then,<00:55:43.240> you<00:55:43.760> know,<00:55:44.760> he<00:55:44.920> knows<00:55:45.160> whatever
00:55:45.520 --> 00:55:54.520
he<00:55:45.680> wants<00:55:46.000> with<00:55:46.200> it.<00:55:47.000> So<00:55:47.440> let's<00:55:47.599> not<00:55:47.720> judge<00:55:47.960> what's<00:55:48.160> weirder<00:55:48.440> or<00:55:48.599> less<00:55:48.760> weird,<00:55:49.039> it's<00:55:49.160> all<00:55:49.359> pretty<00:55:49.599> [goy]<00:55:49.880> out<00:55:50.520> there,<00:55:51.520> and<00:55:51.680> Jews,<00:55:52.079> we<00:55:52.200> got<00:55:52.280> a<00:55:52.400> sin<00:55:53.520> chicken.
00:55:54.520 --> 00:56:01.440
So<00:55:54.751> 6<00:55:54.982> years<00:55:55.213> old,<00:55:55.444> first<00:55:55.676> grade,<00:55:55.907> we're<00:55:56.138> saying<00:55:56.369> Kaparot,<00:55:56.600> we're<00:55:56.831> saying<00:55:57.062> this<00:55:57.293> prayer<00:55:57.524> over<00:55:57.756> and<00:55:57.987> over<00:55:58.218> again,<00:55:58.449> "All<00:55:58.680> my<00:55:58.911> sins,"<00:55:59.142> you<00:55:59.373> know,<00:55:59.604> my<00:55:59.836> gossip,<00:56:00.067> [goy],<00:56:00.298> eat<00:56:00.529> it,<00:56:00.760> sin
00:56:01.440 --> 00:56:09.839
chicken,<00:56:01.754> uh,<00:56:02.068> I<00:56:02.381> punched<00:56:02.695> my<00:56:03.009> sister,<00:56:03.323> I<00:56:03.637> stole<00:56:03.950> a<00:56:04.264> pencil,<00:56:04.578> eat<00:56:04.892> it,<00:56:05.206> sin<00:56:05.520> chicken,<00:56:05.833> you<00:56:06.147> love<00:56:06.461> it,<00:56:06.775> slurp<00:56:07.089> it<00:56:07.402> up.<00:56:07.716> My<00:56:08.030> dad's<00:56:08.344> over<00:56:08.658> there<00:56:08.971> doing<00:56:09.285> his<00:56:09.599> Kaparot,
00:56:09.839 --> 00:56:14.359
and<00:56:09.960> this<00:56:10.119> chicken's<00:56:10.520> just<00:56:10.799> [goy]
00:56:14.359 --> 00:56:24.359
gobbling<00:56:15.359> [goy],<00:56:16.039> covering<00:56:16.520> this<00:56:16.720> [goy]<00:56:16.960> in<00:56:17.160> sins,<00:56:17.640> you<00:56:18.280> know?<00:56:19.280> It's<00:56:19.440> like<00:56:19.559> a<00:56:19.720> [goy]<00:56:20.319> of<00:56:20.480> regret<00:56:20.920> all<00:56:21.039> over<00:56:21.280> this<00:56:21.520> [goy]<00:56:21.839> [goy]<00:56:23.359> face.
00:56:24.359 --> 00:56:31.680
God,<00:56:24.520> come<00:56:24.599> on,<00:56:24.760> just<00:56:24.920> Bible<00:56:25.200> talk,<00:56:25.359> you<00:56:25.480> guys,<00:56:25.599> that's<00:56:25.720> all<00:56:25.799> we're<00:56:25.920> doing<00:56:26.119> here,<00:56:26.480> just<00:56:26.599> regular<00:56:26.960> Bible<00:56:27.200> talk.<00:56:27.359> We've<00:56:27.520> done<00:56:27.680> this<00:56:28.520> before,<00:56:29.520> and<00:56:29.920> uh,<00:56:30.520> and<00:56:30.640> then<00:56:30.839> we<00:56:30.920> were<00:56:31.119> done,
00:56:31.680 --> 00:56:38.160
and<00:56:31.799> my<00:56:31.920> dad<00:56:32.079> was<00:56:32.160> like,<00:56:32.280> "All<00:56:32.400> right,<00:56:32.520> symbolically<00:56:32.960> we're<00:56:33.160> wiped<00:56:33.400> clean<00:56:33.599> of<00:56:33.760> sin."<00:56:34.400> I<00:56:34.480> was<00:56:34.559> like,<00:56:34.680> "Oh,<00:56:34.880> so<00:56:35.039> cool,<00:56:35.480> can<00:56:35.559> we<00:56:35.680> go<00:56:35.760> back<00:56:35.880> inside?"<00:56:36.200> He<00:56:36.319> goes,<00:56:36.720> "Yeah,<00:56:36.880> we<00:56:36.960> can<00:56:37.039> go<00:56:37.160> back<00:56:37.319> inside,
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:43.920
but<00:56:38.319> before<00:56:38.520> we<00:56:38.680> do,<00:56:39.640> I<00:56:39.720> mean,<00:56:39.839> this<00:56:39.960> chicken's<00:56:40.319> got<00:56:40.440> to<00:56:40.559> pay<00:56:40.680> for<00:56:40.799> his
00:56:43.920 --> 00:56:52.520
crimes."<00:56:44.920> What?<00:56:45.160> Big<00:56:45.400> Nate?<00:56:45.760> What<00:56:45.839> did<00:56:46.000> Big<00:56:46.200> Nate<00:56:46.880> do?<00:56:47.880> He<00:56:48.039> goes,<00:56:48.240> "First,<00:56:48.400> no,<00:56:48.520> there's<00:56:48.640> no<00:56:48.720> one<00:56:48.839> here<00:56:48.960> by<00:56:49.079> that<00:56:49.200> name,<00:56:49.440> first<00:56:49.559> of<00:56:49.680> all,<00:56:49.799> I<00:56:49.880> already<00:56:50.079> told<00:56:50.240> you<00:56:51.280> that.<00:56:52.280> Second
00:56:52.520 --> 00:57:01.599
of<00:56:52.599> all,<00:56:52.720> he<00:56:52.799> knows<00:56:52.960> what<00:56:53.039> he<00:56:53.200> did.<00:56:53.640> He<00:56:53.839> punched<00:56:54.160> his<00:56:54.319> sister,<00:56:54.680> he<00:56:54.799> stole<00:56:55.039> that<00:56:55.200> pencil,<00:56:55.520> he<00:56:55.720> gossiped,<00:56:56.920> all<00:56:57.160> my<00:56:57.400> stuff.<00:56:58.079> Look,<00:56:58.319> man,<00:56:58.480> Jews<00:56:58.760> are<00:56:59.119> excellent<00:57:00.440> lawyers,<00:57:01.440> and
00:57:01.599 --> 00:57:10.319
this<00:57:01.760> [goy]<00:57:02.240> is<00:57:02.319> going<00:57:02.440> to<00:57:02.599> hang<00:57:02.880> for<00:57:03.079> his<00:57:04.319> crimes."<00:57:05.319> Yeah,<00:57:05.480> so<00:57:05.640> he<00:57:05.720> reached<00:57:06.000> down<00:57:06.160> in<00:57:06.280> front<00:57:06.440> of<00:57:06.559> me,<00:57:06.839> 6<00:57:07.079> years<00:57:07.280> old,<00:57:07.480> I<00:57:07.559> was<00:57:07.720> screaming<00:57:08.119> for<00:57:08.280> him<00:57:08.400> not,<00:57:08.720> I<00:57:08.799> was<00:57:08.880> like,<00:57:09.319> "No,<00:57:09.960> no,
00:57:10.319 --> 00:57:18.760
please,"<00:57:10.599> and<00:57:10.720> he<00:57:10.839> reached<00:57:11.119> down,<00:57:11.559> he<00:57:11.720> grabbed<00:57:12.039> this<00:57:12.200> chicken<00:57:12.440> by<00:57:12.599> the<00:57:12.760> neck,<00:57:13.599> and<00:57:13.960> uh,<00:57:14.280> calm<00:57:14.520> down,<00:57:15.520> uh,<00:57:16.200> he<00:57:16.319> didn't<00:57:16.520> snap<00:57:16.799> the<00:57:16.920> neck,<00:57:17.240> he<00:57:17.400> picks<00:57:17.640> it<00:57:17.760> up<00:57:17.920> by<00:57:18.039> the<00:57:18.160> neck<00:57:18.599> and
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just<00:57:18.920> starts<00:57:20.240> like,<00:57:21.240> oh<00:57:21.359> yeah,<00:57:21.520> way<00:57:21.640> worse<00:57:21.839> than<00:57:21.920> whatever<00:57:22.160> you<00:57:22.240> guys<00:57:22.400> pictured<00:57:22.839> 5<00:57:23.000> seconds<00:57:23.319> ago,<00:57:24.319> far,<00:57:24.559> far<00:57:24.760> more<00:57:25.000> barbaric,<00:57:25.559> whatever<00:57:25.760> you<00:57:25.839> were<00:57:25.960> thinking,<00:57:26.240> and<00:57:26.319> is<00:57:26.440> like<00:57:26.640> that
00:57:27.000 --> 00:57:31.359
way.<00:57:27.400> I<00:57:27.520> did<00:57:27.680> not<00:57:27.799> see<00:57:27.960> it<00:57:28.119> coming<00:57:28.400> at
00:57:31.359 --> 00:57:40.000
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00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:48.280
how<00:57:40.160> I<00:57:41.559> die?"<00:57:42.559> You<00:57:42.720> asked<00:57:42.920> that<00:57:43.000> chicken<00:57:43.240> 8<00:57:43.440> minutes<00:57:43.680> earlier,<00:57:44.000> "How<00:57:44.119> are<00:57:44.160> you<00:57:44.280> going<00:57:44.359> to<00:57:44.520> die?"<00:57:44.960> No<00:57:45.160> way<00:57:45.359> it<00:57:45.520> guesses<00:57:47.079> correctly.<00:57:48.079> Big
00:57:48.280 --> 00:57:55.920
Nate,<00:57:48.440> "How<00:57:48.520> are<00:57:48.559> you<00:57:48.640> going<00:57:48.760> to<00:57:48.839> die?"<00:57:49.200> Like,<00:57:49.359> "My<00:57:49.480> old<00:57:49.760> age,<00:57:50.000> I<00:57:50.160> think,<00:57:50.359> probably<00:57:50.680> old<00:57:51.280> age.<00:57:52.280> These<00:57:52.440> Jews<00:57:52.720> treat<00:57:52.960> me<00:57:53.119> great,"<00:57:53.480> you<00:57:53.599> know?<00:57:54.280> He's<00:57:54.480> never<00:57:54.680> guessed,<00:57:54.920> "I'm<00:57:55.000> going<00:57:55.079> to<00:57:55.240> die<00:57:55.440> by<00:57:55.559> swinging
00:57:55.920 --> 00:58:04.319
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00:58:04.319 --> 00:58:10.799
you<00:58:04.440> drive<00:58:04.680> down<00:58:04.799> the<00:58:04.920> streets<00:58:05.200> the<00:58:05.319> afternoon<00:58:05.599> before<00:58:05.799> Yom<00:58:06.599> Kippur,<00:58:06.720> uh,<00:58:06.960> down<00:58:07.200> Teaneck,<00:58:07.400> New<00:58:07.559> Jersey,<00:58:07.880> or<00:58:08.000> Skokie,<00:58:08.440> Illinois,<00:58:09.039> or<00:58:09.319> Kent<00:58:09.559> Mill,<00:58:09.720> Maryland,<00:58:10.160> or<00:58:10.280> wherever<00:58:10.520> you<00:58:10.640> guys
00:58:10.799 --> 00:58:19.920
keep<00:58:10.960> your<00:58:11.079> Johnny<00:58:11.400> Cash<00:58:12.960> Jews,<00:58:13.960> yeah,<00:58:14.079> you'll<00:58:14.240> see<00:58:14.480> dozens<00:58:14.839> of<00:58:14.960> them<00:58:15.079> lashing<00:58:15.680> poultry<00:58:16.160> in<00:58:16.240> front<00:58:16.400> of<00:58:16.520> their<00:58:16.760> horrified<00:58:17.400> young
00:58:19.920 --> 00:58:29.520
sons.<00:58:20.920> Then<00:58:21.079> he<00:58:21.240> finished,<00:58:21.720> he<00:58:21.839> threw<00:58:22.079> it<00:58:22.240> down<00:58:22.559> right<00:58:22.720> near<00:58:22.920> my<00:58:23.039> feet,<00:58:23.319> not<00:58:23.520> dead,<00:58:23.880> just<00:58:24.039> hurt<00:58:24.680> bad,<00:58:26.400> like<00:58:26.640> not<00:58:26.960> going<00:58:27.079> to<00:58:27.280> recover<00:58:28.520> bad,
00:58:29.520 --> 00:58:35.880
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00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:42.720
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00:58:42.720 --> 00:58:50.119
time.<00:58:43.720> And<00:58:43.799> then<00:58:43.920> you<00:58:44.000> can't<00:58:44.160> eat<00:58:44.319> the<00:58:44.400> chicken<00:58:44.640> afterwards.<00:58:45.039> Now<00:58:45.240> I<00:58:45.359> have<00:58:45.520> the<00:58:45.599> chickens,<00:58:46.520> cuz<00:58:46.640> it's<00:58:46.799> got,<00:58:46.960> it's<00:58:47.079> got<00:58:47.160> all<00:58:47.400> sins<00:58:47.640> on<00:58:47.760> it,<00:58:47.880> so<00:58:47.960> you<00:58:48.079> can't<00:58:48.240> eat<00:58:48.640> it.<00:58:49.640> So<00:58:49.880> you<00:58:50.000> know
00:58:50.119 --> 00:58:59.400
what<00:58:50.200> we<00:58:50.319> do<00:58:50.440> with<00:58:50.559> it?<00:58:50.920> You're<00:58:51.119> not,<00:58:51.359> you're<00:58:51.480> for<00:58:51.599> sure<00:58:51.760> not<00:58:51.880> going<00:58:52.000> to<00:58:52.079> like<00:58:52.280> this,<00:58:52.559> but<00:58:53.240> uh,<00:58:54.240> we<00:58:54.400> give<00:58:54.559> it<00:58:54.640> to<00:58:54.799> poor<00:58:55.039> people.<00:58:55.400> We<00:58:55.480> don't<00:58:55.599> tell<00:58:55.720> them<00:58:55.839> about<00:58:55.920> the
00:58:59.400 --> 00:59:07.160
sins.<00:59:00.400> We're<00:59:00.559> like,<00:59:00.760> "Here,<00:59:00.920> here's<00:59:01.079> some<00:59:01.240> chicken,<00:59:01.559> eat<00:59:01.720> it,<00:59:01.960> eat<00:59:02.119> it."<00:59:02.680> No,<00:59:02.839> it's<00:59:03.000> chicken,<00:59:03.359> go<00:59:03.480> ahead,<00:59:03.680> eat<00:59:03.799> it,<00:59:03.920> eat<00:59:04.079> the<00:59:04.200> chicken,<00:59:05.039> eat<00:59:05.200> the<00:59:05.359> chicken,<00:59:06.000> eat<00:59:06.200> the<00:59:06.319> chicken,<00:59:06.599> it's<00:59:06.799> good,<00:59:07.000> eat
00:59:07.160 --> 00:59:12.520
it,<00:59:07.480> eat<00:59:07.640> the<00:59:07.760> chicken,<00:59:08.480> it's<00:59:08.640> good,<00:59:08.799> eat<00:59:08.960> the
00:59:12.520 --> 00:59:22.200
chicken.<00:59:13.520> Yeah,<00:59:13.799> so<00:59:14.200> here's<00:59:14.400> the<00:59:14.520> weird<00:59:16.280> part.<00:59:17.760> Oh<00:59:18.760> yeah,<00:59:19.160> that's<00:59:19.280> not<00:59:19.400> the<00:59:19.520> weird<00:59:19.720> part<00:59:19.880> at<00:59:20.000> all,<00:59:20.200> that's<00:59:20.319> not<00:59:20.440> the<00:59:20.559> weird
00:59:22.200 --> 00:59:28.559
part.<00:59:22.423> That<00:59:22.646> is<00:59:22.869> weird,<00:59:23.091> that's<00:59:23.314> not<00:59:23.537> the<00:59:23.760> weird<00:59:23.983> part.<00:59:24.206> Here's<00:59:24.429> the<00:59:24.651> weird,<00:59:24.874> I<00:59:25.097> took<00:59:25.320> it<00:59:25.543> for<00:59:25.766> granted.<00:59:25.989> Here's<00:59:26.211> the<00:59:26.434> weird<00:59:26.657> part:<00:59:26.880> I<00:59:27.103> went<00:59:27.326> home<00:59:27.549> again<00:59:27.771> for<00:59:27.994> Rosh<00:59:28.217> Hashanah,<00:59:28.440> it's
00:59:28.559 --> 00:59:35.079
part<00:59:28.772> of<00:59:28.986> the<00:59:29.199> 10<00:59:29.412> days<00:59:29.626> of<00:59:29.839> repentance,<00:59:30.053> Rosh<00:59:30.266> Hashanah<00:59:30.479> to<00:59:30.693> Yom<00:59:30.906> Kippur,<00:59:31.119> it's<00:59:31.333> called<00:59:31.546> the<00:59:31.760> Aseret<00:59:31.973> Yemei<00:59:32.186> Teshuvah,<00:59:32.400> and<00:59:32.613> I<00:59:32.826> went<00:59:33.040> home<00:59:33.253> again<00:59:33.466> probably<00:59:33.680> seven,<00:59:33.893> eight<00:59:34.107> years<00:59:34.320> ago,<00:59:34.533> and<00:59:34.747> at<00:59:34.960> this
00:59:35.079 --> 00:59:43.240
point<00:59:35.280> now<00:59:35.599> I'm<00:59:35.799> way<00:59:35.960> out<00:59:36.039> of<00:59:36.160> the<00:59:36.280> religion,<00:59:36.960> okay?<00:59:37.480> When<00:59:37.640> I<00:59:37.760> was<00:59:37.960> like,<00:59:38.240> I<00:59:38.359> guess<00:59:38.520> 22,<00:59:39.039> 23,<00:59:39.480> I<00:59:39.559> had<00:59:39.640> a<00:59:39.760> crisis<00:59:40.079> of<00:59:40.280> faith,<00:59:40.920> and<00:59:41.039> I<00:59:41.799> realized,<00:59:42.799> I<00:59:42.920> realized<00:59:43.200> I
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didn't<00:59:43.552> believe<00:59:43.864> in<00:59:44.176> God,<00:59:44.488> and<00:59:44.800> that's<00:59:45.112> like<00:59:45.424> a<00:59:45.736> pretty<00:59:46.048> important<00:59:46.360> part<00:59:46.672> of<00:59:46.984> the<00:59:47.295> religion.<00:59:47.607> Uh,<00:59:47.919> actually,<00:59:48.231> it<00:59:48.543> was<00:59:48.855> when<00:59:49.167> I<00:59:49.479> was<00:59:49.791> in<00:59:50.103> that<00:59:50.415> yeshiva,<00:59:50.727> that<00:59:51.039> seminary
00:59:51.400 --> 00:59:59.559
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00:59:59.559 --> 01:00:05.319
Friday<00:59:59.880> night,<01:00:00.079> on<01:00:00.200> Shabbos<01:00:00.680> night,<01:00:00.839> and<01:00:00.920> I<01:00:01.039> couldn't<01:00:01.319> [goy]<01:00:01.599> sleep.<01:00:01.960> It<01:00:02.039> was<01:00:02.200> right<01:00:02.400> in<01:00:02.480> my<01:00:02.559> eye.<01:00:02.680> I<01:00:02.720> was<01:00:02.839> getting<01:00:03.039> so<01:00:03.240> [goy]<01:00:03.480> frustrated<01:00:04.440> that<01:00:04.640> eventually<01:00:04.960> I<01:00:05.000> was<01:00:05.160> like,
01:00:05.319 --> 01:00:11.440
[goy]<01:00:05.599> this,<01:00:05.839> I'll<01:00:06.000> just,<01:00:06.200> I'll,<01:00:06.400> I'll<01:00:06.520> turn<01:00:06.680> it<01:00:06.880> off,<01:00:07.839> you<01:00:07.920> know?<01:00:08.079> And<01:00:08.200> right<01:00:08.319> when<01:00:08.400> I<01:00:08.480> went<01:00:08.640> to<01:00:08.720> turn<01:00:08.880> it<01:00:09.000> off,<01:00:09.160> I<01:00:09.240> was<01:00:09.359> like,<01:00:09.480> some<01:00:09.640> people<01:00:09.799> walked<01:00:10.039> by<01:00:10.240> my<01:00:10.359> window,<01:00:10.640> I'm<01:00:10.760> like,
01:00:11.440 --> 01:00:19.000
get<01:00:11.520> in<01:00:11.640> trouble.<01:00:12.480> There's<01:00:12.640> no<01:00:12.799> goys<01:00:13.119> to<01:00:13.280> help<01:00:13.480> me,<01:00:13.839> you<01:00:13.960> know,<01:00:14.240> not<01:00:14.400> in<01:00:15.280> Jerusalem.<01:00:16.280> So<01:00:16.440> I<01:00:16.520> was<01:00:16.640> like,<01:00:16.920> [goy],<01:00:17.599> and<01:00:17.720> I<01:00:17.799> didn't<01:00:17.960> turn<01:00:18.119> it<01:00:18.240> off.<01:00:18.400> But<01:00:18.480> then<01:00:18.599> I<01:00:18.680> thought<01:00:18.799> about<01:00:18.920> it
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Yeah,<01:00:38.160> no,<01:00:38.720> do<01:00:39.119> not<01:00:39.520> clap<01:00:39.880> for<01:00:40.119> Taco<01:00:40.599> Bell
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at<01:00:50.880> all.<01:00:51.880> I<01:00:52.000> just<01:00:52.119> thought<01:00:52.359> that<01:00:52.599> then,<01:00:52.799> I<01:00:52.880> thought<01:00:53.000> that<01:00:53.119> was<01:00:53.240> real<01:00:53.400> food<01:00:53.720> back<01:00:53.880> then.<01:00:54.079> It's<01:00:54.240> Taco<01:00:54.559> Bell,<01:00:54.839> never<01:00:55.039> ever<01:00:55.240> eat<01:00:55.480> there.
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So<01:01:00.534> I<01:01:00.749> left,<01:01:00.964> I<01:01:01.179> had<01:01:01.394> to<01:01:01.609> leave,<01:01:01.824> I<01:01:02.039> had<01:01:02.254> to<01:01:02.469> tell<01:01:02.684> my,<01:01:02.899> I<01:01:03.114> had<01:01:03.329> to<01:01:03.544> tell<01:01:03.760> my<01:01:03.975> Orthodox<01:01:04.190> Jewish<01:01:04.405> Holocaust<01:01:04.620> survivor<01:01:04.835> father<01:01:05.050> that<01:01:05.265> I<01:01:05.480> was<01:01:05.695> out.<01:01:05.910> Yeah,<01:01:06.125> he<01:01:06.340> didn't,<01:01:06.555> he<01:01:06.770> didn't,<01:01:06.985> he<01:01:07.200> wasn't
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stoked.<01:01:09.039> I<01:01:09.200> get<01:01:09.400> it,<01:01:09.520> from<01:01:09.720> his<01:01:09.920> perspective,<01:01:10.400> you<01:01:10.520> got<01:01:10.599> to<01:01:11.039> understand,<01:01:11.319> like<01:01:11.440> he<01:01:11.599> sent<01:01:11.799> me<01:01:11.880> to<01:01:12.039> Hebrew<01:01:12.319> school<01:01:12.520> for<01:01:12.720> 12<01:01:13.000> years<01:01:13.280> at<01:01:13.440> like<01:01:13.839> $15,000<01:01:14.839> a<01:01:15.000> year,<01:01:15.680> you<01:01:15.799> know,<01:01:15.960> Jews
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don't<01:01:16.440> love<01:01:16.680> wasting<01:01:17.039> money,<01:01:17.319> I<01:01:17.359> don't<01:01:17.480> know<01:01:17.559> if<01:01:17.640> you<01:01:17.799> heard<01:01:18.000> about<01:01:18.599> us,<01:01:19.599> and<01:01:19.720> then<01:01:19.839> yeshiva<01:01:20.480> seminary<01:01:20.880> in<01:01:21.039> Jerusalem<01:01:21.440> at<01:01:21.599> like<01:01:21.720> 30<01:01:22.000> grand<01:01:22.280> a<01:01:22.359> year<01:01:22.520> for<01:01:22.680> two<01:01:22.839> more<01:01:23.079> years,<01:01:23.559> and
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then<01:01:23.720> when<01:01:23.839> I<01:01:23.920> got<01:01:24.039> out,<01:01:24.160> I<01:01:24.240> was<01:01:24.319> like,<01:01:24.480> "Dad,<01:01:24.599> I<01:01:24.680> need<01:01:24.760> to<01:01:24.839> talk<01:01:24.960> to<01:01:25.039> you<01:01:25.160> about<01:01:25.280> something<01:01:25.480> important,"<01:01:25.920> and<01:01:26.000> he's<01:01:26.160> like,<01:01:26.680> "Going<01:01:26.839> to<01:01:26.960> become<01:01:27.119> a<01:01:27.200> rabbi,<01:01:27.559> don't<01:01:27.880> you?"<01:01:28.880> And<01:01:28.960> I'm<01:01:29.119> like,
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America.<01:01:41.240> And<01:01:41.640> uh,<01:01:42.599> he's<01:01:42.880> like,<01:01:43.240> uh,<01:01:43.359> he<01:01:43.440> was<01:01:43.599> mad,<01:01:43.839> he<01:01:44.000> goes,<01:01:44.400> uh,<01:01:44.760> he<01:01:44.880> goes,<01:01:45.280> I<01:01:45.400> told<01:01:45.559> him<01:01:45.640> I<01:01:45.720> didn't<01:01:45.880> believe<01:01:46.039> in<01:01:46.160> God,<01:01:46.280> he<01:01:46.359> goes,<01:01:46.599> "Even<01:01:46.760> a<01:01:46.920> dog<01:01:47.200> believes<01:01:47.480> in<01:01:48.079> God,<01:01:49.079> you're
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We're<01:01:58.119> totally<01:01:58.559> fine,<01:01:59.520> uh,<01:02:00.520> but<01:02:00.640> I<01:02:00.720> went<01:02:00.920> home<01:02:01.119> again<01:02:01.240> for<01:02:01.440> Rosh<01:02:01.760> Hashanah,<01:02:02.160> the<01:02:02.240> other<01:02:02.440> part<01:02:02.559> of<01:02:02.599> the<01:02:02.680> 10<01:02:02.839> days<01:02:02.960> of<01:02:03.119> repentance,<01:02:03.480> and<01:02:03.640> before<01:02:03.920> it<01:02:04.359> started,<01:02:05.359> uh,<01:02:05.440> he<01:02:05.520> took<01:02:05.680> me
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and<01:02:27.039> these<01:02:27.279> fish<01:02:27.839> these<01:02:28.000> sin<01:02:28.400> fish<01:02:28.960> uh<01:02:29.079> they<01:02:29.200> eat<01:02:29.400> our<01:02:30.319> sins<01:02:31.319> and<01:02:31.440> swim<01:02:31.760> away<01:02:32.079> yeah<01:02:32.200> and<01:02:32.279> dude<01:02:32.520> all<01:02:32.640> these<01:02:32.799> memories<01:02:33.160> started<01:02:33.440> flooding<01:02:33.920> back<01:02:34.760> and<01:02:34.880> I
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I'm<01:03:16.319> like<01:03:16.559> oh<01:03:16.880> hell<01:03:18.000> yes<01:03:19.000> I<01:03:19.160> loved<01:03:19.480> it<01:03:19.640> I<01:03:19.880> experience<01:03:20.319> new<01:03:20.559> things<01:03:21.039> every<01:03:21.240> Saturday<01:03:21.559> morning<01:03:21.799> I'm<01:03:21.960> [fucking]<01:03:22.160> flicking<01:03:22.520> on<01:03:22.640> and<01:03:22.760> off<01:03:22.960> lights<01:03:23.400> I'm<01:03:23.799> like<01:03:24.799> you
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time<01:03:33.760> yeah<01:03:33.920> but<01:03:34.039> I'm<01:03:34.200> way<01:03:34.319> out<01:03:34.520> now<01:03:34.799> but<01:03:34.920> there<01:03:35.000> are<01:03:35.200> still<01:03:35.480> like<01:03:35.640> Jewish<01:03:36.000> like<01:03:36.279> stereotypes<01:03:37.279> that<01:03:37.599> uh<01:03:37.799> well<01:03:37.920> maybe<01:03:38.079> you<01:03:38.200> guys<01:03:38.319> know<01:03:38.480> them<01:03:38.760> I'm<01:03:38.839> sure<01:03:38.960> you've<01:03:39.119> heard<01:03:39.279> them
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yeah<01:04:05.440> these<01:04:05.599> are<01:04:05.760> all<01:04:06.279> correct<01:04:07.279> cats<01:04:07.880> afraid<01:04:08.160> of<01:04:08.359> cats<01:04:08.720> that's<01:04:08.880> just<01:04:09.000> one<01:04:09.200> Jew<01:04:09.480> you<01:04:09.599> met
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making<01:04:22.000> plans<01:04:23.119> Brooklyn<01:04:24.119> Brooklyn<01:04:24.680> bad<01:04:24.880> at<01:04:25.000> basketball<01:04:25.440> how<01:04:25.559> about<01:04:25.839> smart<01:04:26.359> funny<01:04:26.799> I<01:04:26.920> need<01:04:27.119> the<01:04:27.240> good<01:04:27.359> ones<01:04:27.640> at<01:04:27.799> all<01:04:28.200> creative<01:04:28.920> you<01:04:29.039> guys<01:04:29.160> all<01:04:29.319> want<01:04:29.480> negative
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you<01:04:49.240> guys<01:04:49.400> but<01:04:49.480> I'm<01:04:49.559> not<01:04:49.720> cheap<01:04:49.920> compared<01:04:50.160> to<01:04:50.279> Kim<01:04:50.520> and<01:04:52.319> Schlomo<01:04:53.319> you<01:04:53.480> know<01:04:53.839> so<01:04:54.000> we<01:04:54.119> were<01:04:54.319> aware<01:04:54.599> of<01:04:54.720> the<01:04:54.839> stereotypes<01:04:55.480> at<01:04:55.720> told<01:04:55.839> you<01:04:55.920> we<01:04:56.039> watch<01:04:56.240> movies<01:04:56.520> and<01:04:56.680> stuff<01:04:56.920> but
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we<01:04:57.160> just<01:04:57.279> had<01:04:57.440> fun<01:04:57.599> with<01:04:57.760> them<01:04:57.880> we're<01:04:58.079> very<01:04:58.200> funny<01:04:58.520> people<01:04:58.760> so<01:04:58.880> we<01:04:59.000> just<01:04:59.079> had<01:04:59.240> fun<01:04:59.359> with<01:04:59.480> it<01:04:59.640> we<01:04:59.760> had<01:04:59.839> this<01:05:00.000> game<01:05:00.200> in<01:05:00.359> high<01:05:00.520> school<01:05:00.920> we<01:05:01.039> played<01:05:01.520> called<01:05:01.839> the<01:05:02.000> G<01:05:02.240> it<01:05:02.440> Jews<01:05:03.440> and
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here's<01:06:03.520> a<01:06:03.680> modern<01:06:03.920> Jewish<01:06:04.160> stereotype<01:06:04.760> Jewish<01:06:05.079> women<01:06:05.520> terrible<01:06:05.880> at<01:06:06.880> [sex]<01:06:07.880> it's<01:06:08.000> a<01:06:08.200> real<01:06:08.839> thing<01:06:09.839> prove<01:06:10.079> me
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wrong<01:06:17.880> pushy<01:06:18.279> Jews<01:06:18.559> are<01:06:18.760> pushy<01:06:19.200> that<01:06:19.319> one<01:06:19.440> I<01:06:19.640> hate<01:06:19.880> that<01:06:19.960> one's<01:06:20.160> the<01:06:20.240> one<01:06:20.319> I<01:06:20.400> see<01:06:20.559> the<01:06:20.680> most<01:06:20.880> and<01:06:21.000> that's<01:06:21.160> Sephardic<01:06:21.599> and<01:06:21.720> Ashkenazic<01:06:22.319> Jews<01:06:22.599> we're<01:06:22.799> both<01:06:23.039> [fucking]<01:06:23.359> pushy
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dude<01:06:24.160> doesn't<01:06:24.480> excuse<01:06:24.760> all<01:06:24.880> the<01:06:25.000> B<01:06:25.279> that's<01:06:25.400> happen<01:06:25.559> happed<01:06:25.760> to<01:06:25.920> us<01:06:26.240> you<01:06:27.599> know<01:06:28.599> the<01:06:28.760> Holocaust<01:06:29.279> that's<01:06:29.440> pretty<01:06:29.839> that's<01:06:30.000> pretty<01:06:30.200> much<01:06:30.440> it<01:06:31.319> honestly<01:06:31.720> not<01:06:31.880> much
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Holocaust<01:06:49.640> I<01:06:49.720> would<01:06:49.839> have<01:06:49.920> saved<01:06:50.160> a<01:06:50.240> lot<01:06:50.359> of<01:06:51.440> lives<01:06:52.440> but<01:06:52.599> they<01:06:52.720> are<01:06:52.880> pushy<01:06:53.240> D<01:06:53.440> I<01:06:53.520> saw<01:06:53.720> this<01:06:53.799> Holocaust<01:06:54.200> footage<01:06:54.440> on<01:06:54.520> the<01:06:54.640> History<01:06:54.920> Channel<01:06:55.279> it<01:06:55.559> show<01:06:55.720> on<01:06:55.880> like<01:06:56.520> cuz<01:06:56.680> it
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that's<01:07:33.039> his<01:07:33.160> grandfather<01:07:34.119> you<01:07:34.240> know<01:07:34.400> and<01:07:34.520> this<01:07:34.680> guy's<01:07:34.960> like<01:07:35.400> slowly<01:07:35.839> moving<01:07:36.119> forward<01:07:36.520> these<01:07:36.640> other<01:07:36.799> Jews<01:07:37.079> are<01:07:37.279> like<01:07:37.680> coming<01:07:37.920> in<01:07:38.079> too<01:07:38.319> and<01:07:38.599> and<01:07:38.680> the<01:07:38.760> first<01:07:38.960> Jew<01:07:39.119> is<01:07:39.240> like
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crazy<01:08:14.720> [shit]<01:08:15.640> everybody<01:08:16.080> does<01:08:16.960> I<01:08:17.080> just<01:08:17.199> know<01:08:17.359> very<01:08:17.560> little<01:08:17.960> what's<01:08:18.080> that<01:08:18.199> one<01:08:18.440> what's<01:08:18.560> that<01:08:18.679> one<01:08:18.799> kind<01:08:18.920> of<01:08:19.000> Christian<01:08:19.279> that<01:08:19.400> [fucking]<01:08:19.640> drowns<01:08:20.040> those<01:08:20.279> people<01:08:20.799> and<01:08:20.920> your
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act<01:08:21.279> like<01:08:21.480> that's<01:08:22.679> normal<01:08:23.679> Baptist<01:08:24.400> yeah<01:08:24.679> what<01:08:24.799> the<01:08:25.120> guys<01:08:25.520> that's<01:08:25.679> not<01:08:26.040> chill<01:08:27.040> that's<01:08:27.239> very<01:08:27.719> I<01:08:27.799> saw<01:08:27.920> it<01:08:28.000> in<01:08:28.080> a<01:08:28.159> movie<01:08:28.400> at<01:08:28.560> 21<01:08:28.920> years<01:08:29.120> old
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it's<01:08:29.440> a<01:08:29.600> [fucking]<01:08:29.799> religious<01:08:30.120> leader<01:08:30.359> in<01:08:30.480> a<01:08:30.600> wet<01:08:30.759> t-shirt<01:08:31.239> contest<01:08:31.560> in<01:08:31.679> a<01:08:31.839> creek<01:08:32.080> in<01:08:34.239> Kentucky<01:08:35.239> and<01:08:35.359> then<01:08:35.440> he's<01:08:35.600> standing<01:08:35.960> there<01:08:36.080> up<01:08:36.159> to<01:08:36.279> his<01:08:36.480> W<01:08:36.600> and<01:08:36.679> somebody<01:08:36.920> rushes<01:08:37.239> him
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he's<01:08:38.000> like<01:08:39.000> he<01:08:39.159> got<01:08:40.239> chees<01:08:41.239> he's<01:08:42.440> gotes<01:08:43.440> it's<01:08:43.560> like<01:08:43.759> Kill<01:08:44.040> Bill<01:08:44.279> where<01:08:44.359> he's<01:08:44.480> like<01:08:44.640> who's<01:08:44.799> going<01:08:44.880> to<01:08:45.000> come<01:08:45.120> at<01:08:45.759> me
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and<01:08:46.839> then<01:08:46.960> he<01:08:47.080> just<01:08:47.279> UPS<01:08:47.600> it<01:08:47.880> so<01:08:48.040> he<01:08:48.120> was<01:08:48.279> like<01:08:48.679> hand<01:08:48.960> me<01:08:49.159> a<01:08:49.480> baby<01:08:50.000> and<01:08:50.120> I'm<01:08:50.359> like<01:08:50.799> what<01:08:51.239> no<01:08:51.799> way<01:08:52.719> turn<01:08:53.199> this<01:08:53.560> up
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I'm<01:08:56.359> like<01:08:56.480> nobody's<01:08:56.759> going<01:08:56.880> to<01:08:56.960> hand<01:08:57.159> this<01:08:57.279> guy<01:08:57.400> a<01:08:57.520> baby<01:08:57.799> and<01:08:57.960> all<01:08:58.080> these<01:08:58.159> people<01:08:58.359> like<01:08:58.480> my<01:08:58.640> baby<01:08:59.080> my<01:08:59.239> baby<01:08:59.520> do<01:08:59.719> my<01:08:59.839> baby<01:09:00.640> I<01:09:00.719> thought<01:09:00.839> they<01:09:00.920> were<01:09:01.040> going<01:09:01.120> to<01:09:01.199> start<01:09:01.359> throwing
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babies<01:09:01.960> at<01:09:02.120> him<01:09:02.319> like<01:09:02.480> [fucking]<01:09:02.719> Trump<01:09:03.000> and<01:09:03.120> Puerto<01:09:03.480> Rico<01:09:03.799> with<01:09:03.920> the<01:09:06.199> towels<01:09:07.199> and<01:09:07.319> he<01:09:07.440> gets<01:09:07.600> a<01:09:07.759> baby<01:09:08.080> I<01:09:08.159> don't<01:09:08.279> know<01:09:08.359> what<01:09:08.480> he<01:09:08.560> say<01:09:08.719> he<01:09:08.799> was<01:09:08.920> like<01:09:09.120> yeah<01:09:09.400> whatever<01:09:09.799> but
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and<01:09:28.759> there's<01:09:28.920> a<01:09:29.080> book<01:09:29.239> in<01:09:29.400> there<01:09:29.839> called<01:09:30.000> the<01:09:30.159> Zohar<01:09:30.640> which<01:09:30.759> is<01:09:30.839> the<01:09:30.960> most<01:09:31.199> out<01:09:31.400> there<01:09:31.640> mystical<01:09:32.120> book<01:09:32.319> there<01:09:32.480> is<01:09:32.759> like<01:09:32.960> it's<01:09:33.560> it's<01:09:34.000> out<01:09:34.279> there<01:09:34.839> and<01:09:34.920> they<01:09:35.080> tell<01:09:35.199> you<01:09:35.319> not
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know<01:09:48.319> how<01:09:48.400> to<01:09:48.560> keep<01:09:48.759> kosher<01:09:49.159> what<01:09:49.319> happens<01:09:49.520> if<01:09:49.600> a<01:09:49.719> [fucking]<01:09:49.920> hams<01:09:50.159> up<01:09:50.319> your<01:09:50.600> soup<01:09:51.600> you<01:09:51.719> know<01:09:52.480> all<01:09:52.679> that<01:09:53.159> stuff<01:09:54.159> and<01:09:54.279> the<01:09:54.400> Zohar<01:09:54.800> is<01:09:54.960> like<01:09:55.520> why<01:09:55.719> bother<01:09:56.080> and<01:09:56.159> I<01:09:56.239> drove
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you<01:10:28.440> know<01:10:28.560> how<01:10:28.679> you're<01:10:28.760> not<01:10:28.880> supposed<01:10:29.080> to<01:10:29.159> masturbate<01:10:29.800> in<01:10:30.000> like<01:10:30.760> every<01:10:31.320> religion<01:10:32.320> there's<01:10:32.520> not<01:10:32.679> one<01:10:32.840> religion<01:10:33.120> it's<01:10:33.199> like<01:10:33.400> no<01:10:33.600> go<01:10:33.719> for<01:10:33.880> it<01:10:34.080> feels<01:10:34.320> awesome<01:10:34.679> why<01:10:34.760> wouldn't
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happens<01:11:00.440> is<01:11:00.640> unbeknownst<01:11:01.159> to<01:11:01.360> you<01:11:02.000> a<01:11:02.239> demon<01:11:02.600> woman<01:11:03.000> comes<01:11:03.280> into<01:11:03.480> the<01:11:03.640> room<01:11:04.640> yeah<01:11:04.840> I<01:11:05.000> know<01:11:06.000> and<01:11:06.120> she<01:11:06.320> rides<01:11:06.840> you<01:11:07.840> she<01:11:07.960> [fucks]<01:11:08.320> you
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then<01:11:17.480> she<01:11:17.840> yeah<01:11:18.040> this<01:11:18.120> is<01:11:18.239> all<01:11:18.400> real<01:11:18.600> [shit]<01:11:19.080> dude<01:11:20.080> uh<01:11:20.280> well<01:11:20.480> whatever<01:11:20.800> I<01:11:20.880> mean<01:11:21.480> none<01:11:21.640> of<01:11:21.760> this<01:11:21.880> is<01:11:22.000> real<01:11:22.199> [shit]<01:11:22.960> but<01:11:23.960> it's<01:11:24.120> as<01:11:24.239> real<01:11:24.480> as<01:11:24.600> Adam<01:11:24.840> and<01:11:25.000> Eve<01:11:26.920> and
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tough<01:11:58.159> to<01:11:58.320> say<01:11:58.639> they<01:11:58.719> didn't<01:11:58.920> really<01:11:59.159> have<01:11:59.360> that<01:11:59.600> the<01:11:59.719> Old<01:11:59.920> Testament<01:12:00.520> but<01:12:01.440> science<01:12:01.800> pointer<01:12:02.280> that's<01:12:02.400> what<01:12:02.480> they<01:12:02.560> were<01:12:04.480> saying<01:12:05.480> and<01:12:05.639> all<01:12:05.840> through<01:12:05.960> your
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01:17:05.719 --> 01:17:14.040
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01:17:14.040 --> 01:17:23.120
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so<01:18:14.880> everybody<01:18:15.159> knows<01:18:15.400> they're<01:18:15.560> from<01:18:15.800> here<01:18:16.800> yeah<01:18:17.920> hamburgers<01:18:18.920> and<01:18:19.000> then<01:18:19.159> two<01:18:19.320> towns<01:18:19.600> over<01:18:20.120> in<01:18:20.280> cheeseburg<01:18:21.120> they<01:18:21.280> put<01:18:21.440> their<01:18:21.560> own<01:18:21.679> spin<01:18:22.000> on<01:18:22.120> it
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stupidest<01:18:28.560> joke<01:18:28.760> I've<01:18:28.880> ever<01:18:29.000> written<01:18:29.199> in<01:18:29.320> my<01:18:29.880> life<01:18:30.880> legally<01:18:31.480> 20<01:18:31.719> years<01:18:31.960> I'm<01:18:32.120> a<01:18:32.320> [fucking]<01:18:34.159> moral<01:18:35.159> and<01:18:35.320> Sodom<01:18:35.719> they're<01:18:35.840> just<01:18:36.000> butt<01:18:36.280> [fucking]
01:18:36.600 --> 01:18:42.520
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like<01:18:42.639> how<01:18:42.760> about<01:18:42.880> we<01:18:43.000> call<01:18:43.159> it<01:18:43.320> Sodom<01:18:43.880> me<01:18:44.880> everyone<01:18:45.120> was<01:18:45.239> like<01:18:46.320> yes<01:18:47.320> Sodom<01:18:47.920> me<01:18:48.120> I'll<01:18:48.280> butt<01:18:48.520> [fuck]<01:18:48.719> to<01:18:49.000> that
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01:19:15.400 --> 01:19:25.159
towns<01:19:15.960> they<01:19:16.080> were<01:19:16.320> all<01:19:16.679> butt<01:19:16.960> [fucking]<01:19:18.000> towns<01:19:19.000> God<01:19:19.320> hated<01:19:19.600> it<01:19:19.840> man<01:19:20.080> it<01:19:20.199> drove<01:19:20.440> him<01:19:20.639> crazy<01:19:21.040> he'd<01:19:21.239> pace<01:19:21.480> up<01:19:21.600> and<01:19:21.719> down<01:19:21.840> to<01:19:21.920> his<01:19:22.080> God<01:19:22.320> house<01:19:22.480> going<01:19:22.679> these<01:19:22.880> [fucking]<01:19:23.239> butt<01:19:23.520> [fucking]
01:19:25.159 --> 01:19:35.800
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01:19:35.800 --> 01:19:46.080
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01:19:46.080 --> 01:19:55.800
okay<01:19:47.080> so<01:19:47.239> he<01:19:47.320> went<01:19:47.480> to<01:19:47.600> all<01:19:47.719> the<01:19:47.800> towns<01:19:48.159> right<01:19:48.280> he<01:19:48.360> went<01:19:48.480> to<01:19:48.560> the<01:19:48.679> whole<01:19:48.800> world<01:19:48.960> they<01:19:49.040> told<01:19:49.199> him<01:19:49.360> he<01:19:49.440> was<01:19:49.520> like<01:19:50.840> guys<01:19:51.840> can<01:19:52.000> you<01:19:52.239> please<01:19:52.639> stop<01:19:53.080> butt<01:19:53.480> [fucking]<01:19:55.679> and
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point<01:20:14.199> he<01:20:14.520> like<01:20:14.760> really<01:20:15.080> all<01:20:15.239> of<01:20:15.360> you<01:20:15.480> butt<01:20:15.719> [fucking]<01:20:15.920> like<01:20:16.120> yeah<01:20:16.280> man<01:20:16.480> we<01:20:16.600> all<01:20:16.760> butt<01:20:17.000> [fucking]<01:20:17.320> get<01:20:17.520> over<01:20:18.760> it<01:20:19.760> oh<01:20:19.960> actually<01:20:20.159> that's<01:20:20.280> not<01:20:20.400> true<01:20:20.560> that's<01:20:20.679> not<01:20:20.760> true<01:20:20.920> there's
01:20:21.040 --> 01:20:29.960
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disgusting<01:20:44.239> they<01:20:44.360> ridiculed<01:20:44.880> Noah<01:20:45.080> they<01:20:45.159> made<01:20:45.280> his<01:20:45.400> life<01:20:45.520> a<01:20:45.639> living<01:20:45.880> hell<01:20:46.239> they<01:20:46.400> really<01:20:46.560> were<01:20:46.760> really<01:20:46.920> mean<01:20:47.159> to<01:20:47.320> him<01:20:47.480> they<01:20:47.560> made<01:20:47.679> him<01:20:47.800> register<01:20:48.159> as<01:20:48.239> a<01:20:48.360> sex<01:20:49.679> offender<01:20:50.679> can't
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then<01:25:01.760> it<01:25:01.880> kept<01:25:02.040> raining<01:25:02.440> more<01:25:02.600> and<01:25:02.760> more<01:25:03.040> until<01:25:03.280> they<01:25:03.440> all<01:25:04.080> drowned<01:25:04.639> all<01:25:04.800> the<01:25:04.920> butt<01:25:05.159> [fucking]<01:25:05.520> they<01:25:05.639> all<01:25:06.239> drowned<01:25:07.239> even<01:25:07.440> the<01:25:09.239> two-year-olds<01:25:10.239> Joy
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church<01:25:10.719> on<01:25:10.840> Sunday<01:25:11.119> if<01:25:11.199> you're<01:25:11.960> going<01:25:12.960> that's<01:25:13.080> who<01:25:13.199> you're<01:25:13.360> praying<01:25:13.600> to<01:25:13.840> child<01:25:14.080> murderer<01:25:15.679> God<01:25:16.679> so<01:25:16.880> then<01:25:17.040> with<01:25:17.159> all<01:25:17.239> the<01:25:17.360> butt<01:25:17.560> [fucking]<01:25:17.800> gone<01:25:18.080> God<01:25:18.280> was<01:25:18.440> like<01:25:18.560> mission
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accomplished<01:25:19.440> never<01:25:19.600> have<01:25:19.719> to<01:25:19.800> do<01:25:19.960> that<01:25:20.119> again<01:25:20.520> so<01:25:21.080> now<01:25:21.199> he<01:25:21.320> sends<01:25:21.520> a<01:25:21.639> sign<01:25:21.800> to<01:25:21.960> let<01:25:22.080> us<01:25:22.239> know<01:25:22.520> it'll<01:25:22.760> never<01:25:22.920> send<01:25:23.159> another<01:25:23.400> great<01:25:23.560> flood<01:25:24.920> and<01:25:25.119> that
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on<01:25:41.280> every<01:25:41.520> gay<01:25:41.719> flag<01:25:42.119> across<01:25:42.440> the<01:25:42.560> globe<01:25:42.960> every<01:25:43.159> gay<01:25:43.360> bar<01:25:43.679> they<01:25:43.840> all<01:25:44.000> use<01:25:44.199> the<01:25:44.320> rainbow<01:25:45.320> I<01:25:45.480> always<01:25:45.679> thought<01:25:45.840> it<01:25:45.920> was<01:25:46.080> just<01:25:46.199> because<01:25:46.360> it<01:25:46.520> pretty<01:25:46.800> colors<01:25:47.400> nah<01:25:47.880> dude<01:25:48.639> nah
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it's<01:25:49.800> a<01:25:50.000> message<01:25:50.320> from<01:25:50.480> the<01:25:50.600> homosexual<01:25:51.199> community<01:25:51.760> right<01:25:51.960> to<01:25:52.199> God<01:25:54.400> and<01:25:54.520> they're<01:25:54.679> telling<01:25:54.960> them<01:25:55.199> plain<01:25:55.440> as<01:25:55.679> day<01:25:56.000> they're<01:25:56.199> letting<01:25:56.400> them<01:25:56.520> know<01:25:56.840> hey<01:25:57.000> dude<01:25:57.480> we<01:25:57.639> told
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you<01:25:58.000> a<01:25:58.159> long<01:25:58.440> time<01:25:59.800> ago<01:26:00.800> and<01:26:00.920> we'll<01:26:01.159> tell<01:26:01.360> you<01:26:01.600> every<01:26:01.880> time<01:26:02.480> we're<01:26:02.880> never<01:26:03.119> going<01:26:03.239> to<01:26:03.360> stop<01:26:03.679> by<01:26:03.960> five<01:26:06.040> minutes
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thank<01:26:07.159> you<01:26:07.360> very<01:26:07.560> much<01:26:08.320> you<01:26:08.440> guys<01:26:08.520> are<01:26:08.639> do<01:26:09.000> great
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[Applause]
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let<01:26:36.840> my<01:26:38.740> [Music]
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people<01:26:46.159> now<01:26:46.920> when<01:26:47.520> Israel<01:26:48.480> was<01:26:49.040> in<01:26:49.719> Egypt<01:26:51.040> land<01:26:52.040> let<01:26:52.600> my<01:26:53.159> people
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go<01:26:55.880> oppressed<01:26:56.840> so<01:26:57.480> hard<01:26:58.199> they<01:26:58.679> could<01:26:59.119> not<01:27:00.080> stand<01:27:01.080> let<01:27:01.639> my<01:27:02.080> people
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go<01:27:03.520> so<01:27:04.080> the<01:27:04.320> Lord<01:27:04.760> said<01:27:05.400> go<01:27:05.800> down<01:27:06.719> go<01:27:07.040> down<01:27:08.000> Moses<01:27:09.040> Moses<01:27:10.199> way<01:27:11.199> down
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in<01:27:12.520> Egypt<01:27:13.600> land<01:27:14.600> tell<01:27:15.800> old<01:27:17.719> Pharaohs<01:27:18.719> to<01:27:19.080> let<01:27:19.719> my<01:27:20.280> people
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go<01:27:21.679> let<01:27:22.080> my<01:27:22.600> people<01:27:23.360> go<01:27:25.210> [Music]
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so<01:27:32.639> Moses<01:27:33.600> went<01:27:34.119> to<01:27:34.880> Egypt<01:27:36.239> land<01:27:37.239> let<01:27:37.800> my<01:27:38.360> people<01:27:40.280> go
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he<01:27:41.560> made<01:27:42.119> old<01:27:43.760> Pharaoh<01:27:45.280> understand<01:27:46.280> let<01:27:46.880> my<01:27:47.400> people<01:27:48.080> go<01:27:48.800> yes<01:27:49.239> the<01:27:49.480> Lord
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said<01:27:50.560> go<01:27:51.000> down<01:27:51.920> go<01:27:52.199> down<01:27:52.920> Moses
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way<01:27:56.440> down<01:27:57.360> in<01:27:57.719> Egypt<01:27:58.760> land<01:28:00.960> tell<01:28:03.040> Pharaoh<01:28:04.040> to
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let<01:28:05.040> my<01:28:05.520> people<01:28:06.320> go<01:28:08.080> [Music]
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[Applause]<01:28:34.500> [Music]<01:28:36.480> [Applause]<01:28:37.670> [Music]
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[Applause]
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to<01:28:49.159> let<01:28:50.159> my
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people<01:28:53.760> go
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any<01:29:01.840> questions
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